Tuesday, March 25, 2008

If Barack Obama Came To Dinner....

I think I would enjoy this dinner the most. Obama's got that "Cult of Personality" thing going for him...

Barack would probably arrive just a minute or two late, but we can't really blame him for that. What, with our neighbor from across the street accosting him with her adulation? She's pretty sure he's the Democratic Messiah and it was kind of embarrassing when we had to get the garden hose out just so she'd let go of his leg, but he eventually makes it into the house.

Darling Daughter immediately flocks to him and climbs up into his lap. She gives him a hug and introduces him to No Fuss Gus. They become instant friends and they watch Curious George on PBS while Handsome and I get dinner ready.

Barack had specifically asked for take out barbeque because he didn't want to put us to any trouble. So, we're having Gates (with Cheesy Corn smuggled in from Jack Stack). C'mon! What's more Kansas City than Gates BBQ and Boulevard Wheat? Nuthin' I tell ya.

Dinner is ready in a flash and we all decide that it would be nicer to eat in the living room and watch American Idol. (No, I promised to keep it a State Secret who he really wants to win.) DD shares her fries with Barack (a major sign of trust) and I tightly seal the curtains on the front windows against our neighbor (but we can still see her shadow, so it's kind of creepy).

Mid-way thru dinner, I ask him, "So, Barack, I've really liked you ever since I listened to your speech at the '04 DNC. But seriously, what's this whole 'Hope' thing all about? I don't get it."

....and you could hear the crickets chirpping...

He stares at me blankly and asks me, "Don't you have hope the country is going to get better if we all work together?"

I answer, "Well, sure I do."

He asks, "Don't you think I'd make a good president?"

I look at Handsome, who winces, knowing I'm going to be truthful...
"Well, as a sort of decent but mostly lapsing Catholic, I disagree with your stances on school vouchers, illegal immigration, abortion, and stem cell research.

I'm pretty good with your health care, Iraq, gay marriage, the environment, and civil liberties. I like that you preach a message to parents to be responsible for their children.

Do I think you can pull it all off? No offense, but not really. If you ran in another 8 years, I would vote for you in a heartbeat. I don't think you have the political allies or experience built up enough. As an average American, I've spent the last 8 years suffering under an inexperienced, one term governor. And, while, you are most certainly no George W. Bush, I'd like to love you, not just like-you like-you as President. I don't envy anybody who has to take over in Jan. of 2008. They better come in with a hell of big shovel to help dig us out of the hole we're in."

Barack just smiles at me and says, "Well, we'll just agree to disagree. You'll come around and be swept up with the flooding tide of American enthusiasm for change."

"Ok, dude. Sure. Hope that happens."

Barack turns to Handsome and asks, "Well, how 'bout you? Do you think I'd do ok?"

Handsome, always the politician himself, replies, "Sure, I don't follow politics all that closely, and I'm not really sure where you stand on the issues, but you seem like a nice enough guy."

DD, bored to tears by grown-up talk, begs to play Guitar Hero, so we do. Or at least, Handsome, DD and Barack do. DD's pretty rockin' at it for a 3 yr. old and Barack can really tear up "Sweet Child of Mine".

It's DD's bedtime and Barack tucks her and Gus into bed after reading some of the more dream-enhancing parts of "Audacity of Hope".

After giving Handsome and I hugs, thanking us for a lovely evening and telling us we should get together again real soon, he makes sure his Secret Service agents are posted outside and make a mad dash for his idling car before our 50-year old Obama Girl neighbor can mob him again.