Thursday, August 21, 2008

Gloria Squitiro vs. Mary Todd Lincoln...let's compare


I've kept my mouth shut about the mayor's wife for FAR too long. Let's play a little comparison game, shall we, kids?

Gloria: married to a tall man (6'8")
Mary: married to a tall man (6'4")

Gloria: loud-mouthed and controversial
Mary: loud-mouthed and controversial

Gloria: Into questionable occult practices
Mary: Into questionable occult practices

Gloria: "Supportive Spouse"
Mary: "Supportive Spouse"

Gloria: Subject to public scorn
Mary: Subject to public scorn

Gloria: Likes to call African American women "Mammy"
Mary: Likes to call African American women "Mammy"

If you've never read "The Emancipator's Wife" you should.

It is a very historically accurate fictionalization into the life of Mary Todd Lincoln, one of the most fascinating First Ladies (including Dolly Madison, Eleanor Roosevelt, Mamie Eisenhower and Jackie Kennedy.) It even postulates she was an opium addict and she tricked Lincoln into marrying her by lying about being pregnant. As an historian, I looked at the dates of marriage/birth, the mores of the times and, well, it's feasible.

Here's my unadulterated two cents on Gloria S.:
I gladly voted for Mark Funkhouser.
I liked his "honesty".
It was a very hard decision for me since I've met Alvin Brooks and have never been so swept over by someone's genuine goodness. Twice. You can't fake that kinda stuff. He's genuine, honest and incredible.
I voted for Funk because he was younger and seemed like a "Give Em Hell, Harry" kind of politician.

I never imagined this.

Or this.

Or even this.

Don't get me wrong. I like going barefoot as much as the next gal, but I would NEVER assume to do so in City Hall if my husband was the Mayor.

I adore my hubby. I'm the most supportive Theatre Widow ever (well, friends that are abandoned spouses like me are going to make t-shirts that say "Supportive Theatre Widow" and wear them to the shows, but whatev!)

I would never show up at my hubby's place of employment barefoot and expecting to be a prima donna volunteer.

I would never ever accept him doing the same to me.

I would never ever put myself into an ELECTED position that would assume my spouse was just as important as me. I was voted in, not him.

I would never show up at his work/theater rehearsal and demand a say in the creative process.

I wouldn't tolerate him telling me how to run my next ad campaign or giving me a history lecture.

I'm good at history and advertising. He's good at computers and theatre.

We don't cross our professional paths, but we are the other's biggest advocate.

I'll never say a wife should stay home where she belongs, but Gloria DOES NOT belong in KC City Hall.

(That's a Period AND Exclamation Point!)

I would never threaten to break the law over my spouse's VOLUNTEER STATUS!!!!!!!

Gloria, they chose the Funk to do the work, not you. Stop being so paranoid to let him out of your sight (trust me girl, NO ONE's going after him) and get back to being a Douala where your talents can possibly be appreciated.

Funk, get your ass in gear. Fix the KCMO School District, Light Rail (I'm sick of that shit) and let's get going. Your wife is a distraction and this controversy is too.

Thank you.

###END RANT###


kcmeesha said...

can we have at least one foot-fee blog? please?

MoxieMamaKC said...

I was trying. Believe me. But after Funk's temper tantrum about not obeying a proposed law, I've had it. It's that last straw for me.

Anonymous said...

If Gloria cared more about her husband than she does herself, she'd already be gone.

Jaymee said...

is it me or do they even look alike. that is just scary.

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