Thursday, October 9, 2008

The Ghost Posts ~ Imaginary (Or Not) Friends

I have never had an imaginary friend. I kind of feel left out since so many kids have them, even my sister had one. I think her's was a lion, named Braveheart (yes, this was the height of Care Bears era). Darling has a pink and purple unicorn named Bonnie who likes M&M's. Some imaginary friends are people and children can describe everything about them, even when they lived and what their names were. Great use of imagination, right?

A lot of times, when friends and I are telling ghost stories, many of their stories start, "When I was a kid, I saw..." Even decades later, these stories remain vibrant and clear.

Everyone in the world has seen "Sixth Sense". So why is it that children seem most able to see spirits? Is it just their imaginations?

Many people who have/have children who have seen ghosts don't consider the seer to necessarily be over imaginative. I think, like animals, the Rules of the Order of the Universe haven't been set for them. By nature, they are innocent and open to whatever is in their environment.

If you believe in past lives, maybe it's because they haven't fully transitioned into this life all the way. (Check out this creepy article about children who vividly remember past lives).

Before Darling was born, Handsome and I (well, really mostly me) worried about protecting her if she could "see things". Neither of us wanted to be the "It's just your imagination" type of parents (Handsome's) but we didn't want Wednesday Adams for a kid either.

For the most part, we haven't had to worry too much. She would giggle and play with aparently no one when she was a baby. She would look up suddenly and smile at someone not there. Then, when she was around a year old, Handsome and I had to intervene. She started getting scared/overwhelmed by whoever it was she saw. Her bedroom at night started to feel "crowded" but not really threatening, to not only me, but Handsome. So, I told whoever it was to back off and let her sleep. By the time she was two, I would hear her randomly in the night saying "Go!" (what I told her to say when she got scared). They seem to obey, but then we don't have too much "activity" in our house. And that's the way I like it.

Nevertheless, from time to time, I check stuff out. If I feel something near me, I'll ask her who else is in the room with us. 9 times out of 10 she'll point to the exact spot that I'm feeling out. To feel something now is no big deal for her and she's not the type to get scared of monsters in the closet. She just tells them to go away.

She has quirks too. She'll ask me why I was so mad today when I was at work, regardless if I said anything about it. She'll start running for the door 5 seconds before Handsome's car turns onto our street. When going to visit my Grandpa (Dad's dad), she'll point to a portrait of my deceased grandmother and say her name.

This is probably weird parenting to a lot of people, but you're not in my shoes or my family, so shut up. The instances that stuff like this happen are maybe 1 in 100. It's not like I'm teaching her how to play the Ouija.

There has been too much that I've seen /felt in my life to discount anyone else's experiences regardless of their age. I think it's worse as a parent to tell your child that what they see/think/feel/hear is wrong and invalidate their experiences. It's the same as telling them the picture they drew sucks or they shouldn't cry when they fall down. They can't help it.

I am a firm believer that the psychic is part of the spiritual and God gives some of us extrordinary gifts. I think all spiritual people have a little of "the Shine" to them if they are open-minded enough to accept it.

Like a lot of things (Love, prejudice, greed, kindness) in life, children learn by example. Openness to things we don't understand is a good lesson, I think.

Sometimes kids grow out of seeing "friends", and sometimes not. Maybe it's imaginary, maybe it's not.

This article explains it better than I probably can.


May said...

My thoughts on this are that like synesthesia (where senses overlap and you "see" smells, etc.) everyone can see ghosts, etc. when you're a kid, but because grown-ups don't see those things for the most part and you're not trained to focus on them like you are other things, your ability to see them just fades away for most people. It's awesome that you're fostering your child's ability to see what's really there!

Stacey K said...

I wish my older son hadn't lost his ability to see spirits. He now thinks that he was just an imaginative kid and it makes me a little sad.