Moxie Mama

Happy Blogiversary....Or Something

2012-01-25T19:05:00.005-06:00

Wow. So I started this blog waaaaay back in January 2008.

I admit....

I've kinda failed at blogging in the last year (or two).

There have been a lot of changes in my life in the last year (which I'll probably get to eventually) and I admit that my reasons for starting this crazy blog have changed as I have evolved as a person (not a bad thing)and I guess my blog has suffered an identity crisis (and me too...).

I'm not ready to give up the "blissful oblivion of anonymous" of my very strong opinions, but I never know how to start once I've gotten an idea of something to write about.

Sometimes I think blogging is just the post modern version of James Joyce's stream of conscience and I've had trouble picking up the thread of my "inner thoughts".

Screw it.

I know "good blogs" have a continuous theme and a continuous message and voice, but I've got to pick up the thread somehow...

I think my favorite posts were just the random "this strikes my fancy so I'll slap some words on the blogisphere about it.

so....

be ready, Constant Reader, for me to unleash some of my randomness in the upcoming days/weeks/months.

I'm ready to just put random stuff out there.

Love it...hate it...I don't care....I just hope you'll continue to stick around for a little bit longer.

Hugs, kisses....

Moxie

Open Windows

2011-07-02T20:17:00.002-05:00

So....I finally found a job after a relatively quick 2.5 months....I start on the 11th and I'm so excited!!!

I've always been a big fan of "when God closes a door, somewhere He opens a window." (Thanks, Julie Andrews and The Sound of Music!) In the last couple of months, it feels like The Big Guy (God, Yahweh, Jehovah, Whatever you'd like to call Him) has been throwing open every single window in my life....

Ironically, the job I landed came through a staffing agency that saw my resume online and thought I'd be a good fit. I hate the idea of 90 days-temp-to-hire, but I really think it will work out ok. It's a FANTASTIC job (at least on paper so far)and I honestly feel blessed to be given this opportunity.

I've loved the time I've been able to spend with my daughter, the time I've finally had to work on my family history stuff and just the general break in the craziness of life. I've also wrestled and put away a lot of personal issues that have needed to be settled for a long time. Having time to think really does that for you....

The one mar on this late spring/early summer awesomeness is my allergies this year.

I've always had the coughy/sneezy/pot smokin' red, itchy eyes that most people with seasonal allergies get, but this rare year, I got THE HIVES.

It doesn't happen every year, but the years it does, it's bad(thus the big caps.) Spontaneously I will break out in hand sized welt-like hives all over my body.

I'm the Incredible Hiving Moxie during these moments and I can't do anything about them but try to overdose on Benadryll. I never, ever take allergy medicine (I like to suffer or I'm stupid, I don't know), but when I get THE HIVES it's a quick trip to Walgreens for the happy, take away the crazy hives medicine.

Did I mention I had one of these attacks right before a job interview last month? Yep, I sure did. Luckily, clothes concealed my crazy shame. I itched my way through the interview!

The worst THE HIVES incident was 9 years ago on Handsome's college graduation day. Right in the middle of the ceremony, I broke out from head to foot in large, awful hives.

People stared.

My mother-in-law, the nurse, wanted to rush me to the hospital.

I was mildly freaking out, but I carried on....

All in all, it was a great break and I'm looking forward to my new job. It kind of freaks me out to realize how ready I was for my last job to end. I didn't have the courage to leave and I kept thinking things would get better, but honestly, after reflection, it's a release to be gone.

The Lord indeed works in mysterious ways.

It sucks that we won't be able to afford to go to California to see Handsome's sister's new baby in December and we've had to put off our "put new siding on the house" project mid-way through (I'm still hoping we can do it in Sept.), but we thankfully are coming through this momentary financial crisis relatively unscathed.

And for that, I'm thankful. Thank you Baby Jesus and the Easter Bunny for the miracles!

And thanks, Big Guy, once more for seeing me through something that seemed insurmountable.

You really do work in mysterious ways!!!

downsized....

2011-05-10T17:48:00.002-05:00

3 weeks ago today was the first day in 8 years, 4 months, 2 weeks and 2 days that I didn't go to a full time job.

I was downsized....

It doesn't help that it wasn't my boss' decision...

It doesn't help that I got a great severance package...

It doesn't help that it wasn't my fault...

I felt empty...worthless...

Up until that point I had only been married 6 weeks longer than I had that job.

I had my daughter while I had that job.

I bought my first house while I had that job.

My husband and I have been through so much since I first got that job...

It was the sustaining thing through so much financial early-marriage chaos...

I was always "The Bread Winner"...

I knew it was probably coming, but I was in denial...

In January, our corporate office "restructured" the company. I was nervous and asked my boss what that meant for me. I was only one of a few "local" marketing managers left in 128 branches in the US and Canada. I kept my job for so long after so many of us fell.

I always knew my boss valued my work and that he'd keep me if he could.

Fuck it.

I kept my job because I was better than Corporate at getting results and up til now they couldn't find a reason to fire me legitimately. That's not an exaggeration.

I always played by the brand standards: used the right logos, fonts, graphics, but the ideas that really worked were all a local collaboration between the GM, the Sales Manager and me....

In January, the GM (some one who has been so inspirational as a business person to me) told me that if I was going to be eliminated, it would have already happened.

I was stupid and I believed him.

He hadn't let me down in the 5 years that I'd known him.

I have to give him a little bit of credit.

He fought for me and I don't doubt it.

He couldn't look me in the eye that day and had someone (that I HATE) do it...

But...he did say,

"I'm sorry, Moxie....I was the very last hold out. I did everything that I could. I'm the last of 128. I've fought for you for so long, but they won't let me any more. I'll do anything I can to help you find something else..."

Bleak comfort....right?

Strangely, I thought I'd be upset, but I wasn't.

I'd been unhappy for about a year and a half, REALLY unhappy since January. I knew it was time to go a long time ago, but I held on because it was familiar and because of the friends I'd made....We watched our kids grow up together, we weathered SO many financial challenges and creative differences together....it was like a family....

I was in firm denial.

But, done is done, am I right?

But, what really hurts is the fact that ONLY 2 HOURS after I finished a huge project, I was called in to the front office and let go... 2:15 pm on April 18th, 2011...

I'm still a little freaked out about the calm I felt.

I thought I'd cry...

I didn't.

I thought it would be harder...

It wasn't...

It was a weird calm and a rush of release.

It was all over and I didn't have to be stressed about that place again.

I just hated that it was so abrupt.

That my health insurance ran out at midnight that night.

That I didn't get the chance to say good bye to some of the most wonderful people I've known over the last 8.5 years.

Sure, I'll call those people in the next few weeks, tell them I'm doing fine and etc. and etc. but....I can't do it right now.

I hate job hunting. I hate the fact that business people lump "Sales and Marketing" together and think I want to be a salesperson.

Fuck that.

Let me create a campaign!!!

Let me strategize, design, implement and track something so I can see solid results.

I've known salespeople, and I'm not a salesperson. I hate getting junk mail promising me unrealistic amounts of money if I become a salesperson for XYZ BS Company.

I don't want to sell, I want to Market.

I'm a strategist.

I love the hunt and the target and the kill.

I love the rush of making someone who "hates junk mail and advertising" call us up anyway...

Sigh....

If you know any Marketing jobs in KC for someone with 10+ years of "roll your sleeves up and get results" marketing experience, let me know...

I hate sitting still...I need a job!

RetroGag: Valentines One

2011-02-10T19:58:00.013-06:00

There's no way I can do this series with a straight face...

So let's make fun of some historical shit...whadda ya say?

First up:
Cheesy-ness:

Yeah...ummm...I'm crazy...and I LOVE YOU!

Let's commit arson together..That's HOTT!!

A special kinda KC Lovin'...If you've never imagined licking bbq sauce offa somebody, this valentine ain't meant for you...It's a KC BBQ thing...

I love you so much, baby, it burns like the clap!!!

My pussy says "Meow" boys... grrr...

Creepy, non?

Ummm...dude? Don't try to take your love through airport security...I say this as a friend...

Ok, Constant Reader...get ready for an epic journey of awkward lovin' over the next coupla days...I'm addicted to these creepy, crazy, retro-lovin' Valentines....

RetroGag: Valentines....

2011-02-10T19:35:00.002-06:00

One of the most interesting parts of my job as a part-time historian is discovering what other people think is "historical and priceless.."

People bring stuff into the museum I work for all the time. They think it's a precious historical document that must be preserved. 3/4 of the time they are right...

Recently I was hit with an incredible historical cache.

The motherlode of awesomeness....a rare find!!

Boxes and boxes of crap/historical awesomeness. Ex: a bumper sticker that promoted LBJ for president, a clipping from the KC Star in April 1912 talking about the Titanic going down, a lady's ciggerette case from the 1920's, an invite to the Priests of Pallas Parade..

Incredible stuff...

The thing that really struck me was a collection of Valentines from about the 1930's... They are so fragile, intricate and amazing as pieces of artwork. Someone kept these for 70-80 years and they certainly aren't the cheap copy paper versions that I looked at in Target the other day that feature SpongeBob, Hannah Montana and My Little Ponies for Darling's 1st grade class.

I'm amazed at the thoughtfulness people once put into sending these pieces...

Back in the era of sending things via the post office, I think Valentines meant more...

I pondered this and today I ran across a collection of Valentines in one of my favorite blogs "Found in Mom's Basement". Nostaglia lovers, if you haven't found this blog yet, you're slacking...

In the true spirit of mocking things vintage, I've decided to feature some crazy vintage ads over the next couple of days...

Stay tuned, Constant Reader, and help me decipher these Odes to Love from Eras Past...

Happy Blogiversary to Me!! (Belatedly of Course)

2011-01-28T11:04:00.003-06:00

Hard to believe it but I started this crazy ol' blog back on Jan. 24, 2008.

3 whole years!

It doesn't seem like it's been that long at all, and I've definitely decreased my frequency in the last year, but I'm hoping to do better this year.

Considering the fact that most blogs fizzle out soon after creation, I guess the fact that I still sporadically post should at least mean something. (Can you hear me justifying my lack of posts in my head?)

Any who, thanks to all my Constant Readers who still stick around!

If you're twisted and demented and like statistics, I found two really interesting articles on blogs:
Interesting, but a bit dated.
Technorati's 2010 State of the Blogosphere.

Enjoy!

The Best Christmas Light Decorating

2010-12-21T15:02:00.002-06:00

Travelling home the other night we spotted this pretty, decorated house:

But it was their neighbor's display that made me laugh out loud. Thanks for the cheer up after a rather dismal day, neighbors who live around 95th and Lamar!

Unicorns are indigenous to somewhere like Scotland, right?

2010-12-16T14:05:00.006-06:00

Well sheeet....now I've done it.

Darling loves unicorns. She loves them SOOOOOO much that when she visited Santa last weekend she asked for one.

"A real one, not a stuffed one, Santa. I promised to feed it and brush it and ride it every day."

Santa gave me a side-long look and told her he'll see what he can do.

He got off easy.

By encouraging my daughter's imagination and not crushing her wonder of the world and magic, (or some bs like that) I've essentially set the kid up for a major disappointment Christmas morning.

I'm the greatest mother ever. I should write a book: "How to Screw Up Your Kid in 5 Easy Steps"....best-seller material for sure...

I guarantee you the very first thing she'll do is go looking in the backyard looking for the unicorn.

The real one.

I've already tried to explain to her that unicorns are not indigenous to Missouri and it probably wouldn't like living here.

Darling: "Well, Santa goes everywhere. He can find one. Where do they live?"

Me: "I don't know, probably Scotland, maybe Ireland. Definitely in Europe and that's very far away. And it's really super rare that you can even see one in real life. Don't you think the unicorn would miss its family? You wouldn't like it if Santa picked up Daddy and I and dropped us down in the middle of a unicorn family, would you? You'd miss us wouldn't you?"

Darling: "Yeah, but you'd be living with unicorns, and that would be so cool, so I wouldn't be sad for long."

*sigh*

Me: "Well, we'll see...Maybe another little girl needs a unicorn more than you do. I bet they'd have a farm or something. Our backyard would be too small and I bet it would eat the flowers in your fairy garden in the spring. You wouldn't like that, would you?"

Darling: "No it wouldn't eat them. I'd tell my unicorn not to and the fairies wouldn't let him eat them."

Do you see the monsterous problem I've created? My co-worker owns a farm with horses. I'm tempted to bribe him to let me super glue a horn to one of their heads and let Darling go for a ride.

It's either that or let her learn the cruel truth of reality ~ sometimes Santa doesn't bring EVERYTHING you want. I'm still waiting for the toy piano that I wanted Santa to bring me in 1981. (It was a doomed wish from the start. My dad has a low tolerance for what he calls "racket" but a kid sized piano was all I could think about that fall).

I'm sure Darling will be happy with the unicorn Pillow Pet and other assorted unicorn stuff Santa is bringing. It should ease the sting of an empty backyard Christmas morning.

Day 8: Someone who made your life hell, or treated you like shit.

2010-11-11T10:20:00.004-06:00

I could probably skip this one because I don't think I have any mortal enemies (that I know of), but I can think of one roommate that did make my life pretty miserable.

In college she and I roomed for one year in the dorm. It wasn't that bad. We got along pretty well. The only negative thing was that because she was the "dorm slut" we had drunk, horny guys knocking on our door at all hours of the night. But, I shrugged it off as a casualty of communal living.

The next year we decided we were going to move into an apartment with Handsome. It was messy from the start. When we started looking for apartments, she would refuse to go inside to check them out if she didn't think the cars in the parking lot were nice enough. If we did make it past the parking lot, she would find imaginary mold issues/leaky faucets/"loud environments" that she didn't think she could deal with.

We finally found something that all three of us mostly agreed on. It was a little steeper than Handsome and I were wanting to pay(unlike her, Mommy and Daddy weren't paying for our school/living arrangements), but we moved in anyway.

Immediately, it went from bad to worse. I don't know what happened to her over summer break, but she completely changed for the worse. Filthy clothes, dishes, school books everywhere. For some unknown reason, she would randomly use our bathroom even though she had one of her own.

Then she picked up a guy in a bar and brought him home for the night.

And left this perfect stranger a key to our apartment on the kitchen table with a note that said "Thanks, I enjoyed you". (To this day, it's an inside joke between Handsome and I when we're feeling particularly saucy. TMI, I know.)

Roommate went to class. When Handsome realized what was going on, he roused the sleeping guy and kicked him out of our apartment before we went to class. No way were we leaving while a perfect stranger was hanging out there.

Roommate started dating this guy. They broke the towel bar in the shower having VERY loud sex (of course Handsome and I had to pay for that to be replaced.) Loud sex was quite common in Roommate's room. The guy was always there. Always. No job, no where to go. Eating our food, sitting on our couch, watching our tv....

The final straw was when Handsome came home one night, opened the door, and the guy shot an (empty) paintball gun off in his face.

Handsome is a very tolerant man. He has to be to put up with me for 14+ years, but this was it. After a "discussion" with Roommate that ended in tears, she agreed to move out to the guy's apartment.

Her grades had been slipping and she was second guessing medical school so after a few months, she decided to move back home to the middle of Missouri and start over.

She was such a smart, beautiful girl, that I hope she figured it all out and has herself together now. Knowing her, she probably made it through her early 20's crisis a better person. Even though she made our lives hell for a semester, I do think about her from time to time and hope she's doing well....

Day 7: Someone who has made my life worth living

2010-11-09T12:19:00.005-06:00

Darling is obviously 6 yrs old now, but this is by far one of my favorite pictures of her when she was a new born. As you can tell, she has big, wide, curious eyes (a beautiful blue IRL) and just like she is gazing at the world in wonder here, she's taught me to do the same.

Over and over again in my life, she's taught me to stop, observe and just enjoy the world. (We HAVE to stop at every flower bouquet in the grocery store so she can "stop and smell the flowers".)

I've been through some really rough times in her 6 years of life, and even when I've been at my lowest, she's instinctively right there to cheer me up.

Day 6: Something I hope I never have to do

2010-11-09T12:08:00.003-06:00

Bury my daughter or husband.

Simple as that.

No parent ever wants to face the possibility of having to bury their child. Recently, a younger friend of my husband's died in a one-car wreck when he wrapped his car around a tree. Seeing his parents trying to come to terms with the devastating loss of their 22 year old son sent shivers into my heart.

What would I do if I lost Darling? How could I possibly pull air into my lungs and put one foot in front of another each day? It seems impossible.

As for Handsome, I've already told him I plan on dying first. Watching my grandfather live the last 9 years without his best friend and how hard that has been on him helped me to make up my mind. Handsome's already told me that he will do his best.

I guess that's all I can ask for.....

Day 5: Something I hope to do in my life....

2010-11-09T11:54:00.004-06:00

Oh so many things I would love to do in my life: visit Europe, pay off all my debts, meet Jon Hamm in person....

Probably one thing I could feasibly accomplish is a dream of mine since I was about 15. I would love to visit El Salvador on a missionary trip. I am Catholic but I wouldn't say that preaching to the masses is a particular goal of mine, but helping people who really need it and being able to go on a sort of spiritual quest would be.

I was raised to give my time and talent to those in need. Volunteerism ran very strong in my family and I'm trying to raise Darling to be the same way. It gets much harder to find time to volunteer for worthy causes as I get older, but it is something I'd like to set as a higher priority.

So why El Salvador?

When I was in high school, my parish began a sister community relationship with a village in El Salvador. I started researching the tumultuous history of the small Central American country and it's myriad of political coups and oppression. I also saw a very powerful movie about Archbishop Oscar Romero, titled "Romero" (starring the fabulous Raul Julia.) I was moved by real faith and belief in God and passive resistance against those (the government and church hierarchy) who were not champions of those who need help. I even considered joining the Peace Corps/lay religious group for a few years.

Service to those who need it seems to be a very good way to practice a belief in God. I go to Mass when I need to but it's always been easier to see God, the Great Spirit, whatever you want to call Him/It/She in other people.

I guess I'd really like to do a missionary trip to El Salvador so that for just a brief time, I can truly help someone who needs it and maybe learn something from them along the way.

Day 4: Something I Have To Forgive Someone Else For

2010-11-04T15:20:00.003-05:00

I'm pretty sure that this is something that I'm going to struggle with my entire life. It's definitely the nail in the coffin for ever being able to have a decent relationship with my parents.

My grandmother, who I was very close to, died in 2001. Everyone who knew her knew she was dying. Except me.

I've blogged about this before, and you can read the post here.

This was my early post-college days and my life was pretty chaotic, but I usually called my grandparents at least once or twice a month. I only stopped because my mother told me that my Grandma was upset by my engagement to Handsome.

I should have known better. My mom has lied to me on several occassions in my life, but since we were trying to get along, I went along with her, figuring I would see Grandma in Oct. and be able to ask her about her feelings.

My father could have said something.
My 2 brothers could have said something.
My 2 sisters could have said something.

No one did, because no one in my immediate family has ever stood up to my mom. It's very frustrating.

In my mind, petty family squabbles should never come before a life and death situtation. You can't take back last chances to say good bye. I was robbed of being able to say good bye to someone who meant the world to me, a woman who was the example of the kind of mother I wanted to be.

I know I need to forgive my mom and the rest of my family, but this is probably the hardest thing for me to do. I'm still struggling with it 9 years later....

Day 3: Something I Have to Forgive Myself For . . .

2010-11-03T15:40:00.004-05:00

Wow. This is a very hard one. There are so many things that I need to forgive myself for. Probably the biggest is that I need to forgive myself for not being a perfect mother. Or even a better mother than I am.

I love Darling with my whole heart, but sometimes I feel that I'm a horrible mother. I know that lots of mothers feel this way, but because of my own relationship with my mother (VERY strict) I feel like I'm spastically over-indulgent/over-strict.

I don't feel like I have a good balance of when to be good time play around Mama and when to be strict, you have to do this for your own good Mama.

I need to forgive myself because it doesn't matter. I'm involved in her life and am not a "Go watch TV" kind of parent. We have a good relationship (even though she'll always pick Daddy over me...she's a definite Daddy's Girl) and we love each other desperately. I am able to recognize when I need to let up on the reins and most of the time when I need to pull them in.

So, you know what? I forgive myself (kind of almost).

Day 2: Something I Love About Myself

2010-11-02T15:05:00.004-05:00

This one is a bit easier....

I love the fact that I'm a generous person, almost to a fault. Even though it has gotten me in trouble in the past, if someone needs something from me, even if it's as simple as a shoulder to cry on, I've always gone out of my way to accomodate them. My time, my talent, my love and even sometimes my very scarce money, I can't say no to others. There are so many times in my life that I've benefitted from the generosity of others, that it just seems right to pay it forward.

The only down side to this is that sometimes I give too much of myself away and I get stressed out. Case in point was the last few weeks I've picked up A LOT of extra hours at the museum to relieve stress on our director. Even though I have a full time job and the regular load of part time museum stuff is plenty for me to handle, I took on just a bit too much on my plate. I'm exhausted this week, but I'm glad I was able to help out.

I'd rather always give too much and not enough....and I wouldn't change it.

Day One: Something I Hate About Myself

2010-11-01T13:53:00.004-05:00

So, in order to kind of kick start me back into my blogging, I've decided to do the 30 Days of Truth. I first saw it over at Miss Grace's, and I think it might be a good way to jump start my writing again...So, here we go...

Day One: Something I Hate About Myself:

I constantly second guess myself when it comes to, well, just about everything. This blog is becoming one of the things that I undermine by thinking about it too much. Never one for great self confidence, I seem to drop projects because I fear how I/others might view the final result. What if it sucks? I hate failure, and what if that's what happens? This is really ridiculous, I know, but so many times I start a craft or another creative project and I bail out half way through because I don't think that it's good enough for my own high standards. Better to leave it up in the air and undone than badly done.

Ironically, it's very hard for me to give up or quit on people, some of whom I really probably should have. I can name a few friends and family members that no matter how hard I try to walk away from them, they turn up like bad, bad pennies. Severing a tie completely is very hard for me to do in relationships....

So, there's Day One.

Here's the rest of the list in case you're interested:
Day 01 → Something you hate about yourself.
Day 02 → Something you love about yourself.
Day 03 → Something you have to forgive yourself for.
Day 04 → Something you have to forgive someone for.
Day 05 → Something you hope to do in your life.
Day 06 → Something you hope you never have to do.
Day 07 → Someone who has made your life worth living for.
Day 08 → Someone who made your life hell, or treated you like shit.
Day 09 → Someone you didn’t want to let go, but just drifted.
Day 10 → Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn’t know.
Day 11 → Something people seem to compliment you the most on.
Day 12 → Something you never get compliments on.
Day 13 → A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough ass days. (write a letter.)
Day 14 → A hero that has let you down. (letter)
Day 15 → Something or someone you couldn’t live without, because you’ve tried living without it.
Day 16 → Someone or something you definitely could live without.
Day 17 → A book you’ve read that changed your views on something.
Day 18 → Your views on gay marriage.
Day 19 → What do you think of religion? Or what do you think of politics?
Day 20 → Your views on drugs and alcohol.
Day 21 → (scenario) Your best friend is in a car accident and you two got into a fight an hour before. What do you do?
Day 22 → Something you wish you hadn’t done in your life.
Day 23 → Something you wish you had done in your life.
Day 24 → Make a playlist to someone, and explain why you chose all the songs. (Just post the titles and artists and letter)
Day 25 → The reason you believe you’re still alive today.
Day 26 → Have you ever thought about giving up on life? If so, when and why?
Day 27 → What’s the best thing going for you right now?
Day 28 → What if you were pregnant or got someone pregnant, what would you do?
Day 29 → Something you hope to change about yourself. And why.
Day 30 → A letter to yourself, tell yourself EVERYTHING you love about yourself

Happy Equinox!!!

2010-09-22T12:10:00.012-05:00

I'm so desperate for fall I'm ignoring the warm weather outside and celebrating the first day of Autumn (technically it's at 10:09 pm CDT) time tonight.

I'm so ready for sweaters and making chili and watching falling leaves.

Sounds kind of trite, but I was at the grocery store last weekend and had already decided I was going to make my first batch of chili since last winter. As I'm standing in the bean aisle, debating the merits and prices of each choice, I turn to Handsome and say, "I think it's still too hot to make chili,"

He agreed and we dejectedly and move on to find Darling's apple sauce....

SIGH!!!

I'm in the mood, so here's some fun equinox facts I found over at TechJackal (Much better explanations over there):

~ The spring and autumn equinoxes, are the only two times during the year when the sun rises due east and sets due west

~ The equinoxes are also the only days of the year when a person standing on the Equator can see the sun passing directly overhead.

~ On the Northern Hemisphere’s autumnal equinox day, a person at the North Pole would see the sun skimming across the horizon, signaling the start of six months of darkness.

~ On the same day, a person at the South Pole would also see the sun skim the horizon, beginning six months of uninterrupted daylight.

Some good stuff over at EarthSky:

~ Notice the arc of the sun across the sky each day. You’ll find it’s shifting toward the south. Birds and butterflies are migrating southward, too, along with the path of the sun.

~ At the equinoxes, the sun appears overhead at noon as seen from Earth’s equator

~ On average, the moon rises about 50 minutes later each day. But near the time of the autumnal equinox, the moon rises only about 30 minutes later each day. Why? The reason is that the ecliptic – or path of the sun, moon and planets – makes a narrow angle with the evening horizon during the autumn months. The narrow angle of the ecliptic in on autumn evenings results in a shorter-than-usual rising time between successive moonrises around the time of the autumn full moons.

~ Go outside around sunset or sunrise and notice the location of the sun on the horizon with respect to familiar landmarks. If you do this, you’ll be able to use those landmarks to find those cardinal directions in the weeks and months ahead, long after Earth has moved on in its orbit around the sun, carrying the sunrise and sunset points southward.

Something else that's interesting this week is the fact that tomorrow is a full moon, or the Harvest Moon, since it's the closest to the equinox. I thought it was interesting that each full moon of the year has it's own name.

According to The Farmer's Almanac, here are the monthly moons:

• Full Wolf Moon – January Amid the cold and deep snows of midwinter, the wolf packs howled hungrily outside Indian villages. Thus, the name for January’s full Moon. Sometimes it was also referred to as the Old Moon, or the Moon After Yule. Some called it the Full Snow Moon, but most tribes applied that name to the next Moon.

• Full Snow Moon – February Since the heaviest snow usually falls during this month, native tribes of the north and east most often called February’s full Moon the Full Snow Moon. Some tribes also referred to this Moon as the Full Hunger Moon, since harsh weather conditions in their areas made hunting very difficult.

• Full Worm Moon – March As the temperature begins to warm and the ground begins to thaw, earthworm casts appear, heralding the return of the robins. The more northern tribes knew this Moon as the Full Crow Moon, when the cawing of crows signaled the end of winter; or the Full Crust Moon, because the snow cover becomes crusted from thawing by day and freezing at night. The Full Sap Moon, marking the time of tapping maple trees, is another variation. To the settlers, it was also known as the Lenten Moon, and was considered to be the last full Moon of winter.

• Full Pink Moon – April This name came from the herb moss pink, or wild ground phlox, which is one of the earliest widespread flowers of the spring. Other names for this month’s celestial body include the Full Sprouting Grass Moon, the Egg Moon, and among coastal tribes the Full Fish Moon, because this was the time that the shad swam upstream to spawn.

• Full Flower Moon – May In most areas, flowers are abundant everywhere during this time. Thus, the name of this Moon. Other names include the Full Corn Planting Moon, or the Milk Moon.

• Full Strawberry Moon – June This name was universal to every Algonquin tribe. However, in Europe they called it the Rose Moon. Also because the relatively short season for harvesting strawberries comes each year during the month of June . . . so the full Moon that occurs during that month was christened for the strawberry!

• The Full Buck Moon – July July is normally the month when the new antlers of buck deer push out of their foreheads in coatings of velvety fur. It was also often called the Full Thunder Moon, for the reason that thunderstorms are most frequent during this time. Another name for this month’s Moon was the Full Hay Moon.

• Full Sturgeon Moon – August The fishing tribes are given credit for the naming of this Moon, since sturgeon, a large fish of the Great Lakes and other major bodies of water, were most readily caught during this month. A few tribes knew it as the Full Red Moon because, as the Moon rises, it appears reddish through any sultry haze. It was also called the Green Corn Moon or Grain Moon.

• Full Corn Moon – September This full moon’s name is attributed to Native Americans because it marked when corn was supposed to be harvested. Most often, the September full moon is actually the Harvest Moon.

• Full Harvest Moon – October This is the full Moon that occurs closest to the autumn equinox. In two years out of three, the Harvest Moon comes in September, but in some years it occurs in October. At the peak of harvest, farmers can work late into the night by the light of this Moon. Usually the full Moon rises an average of 50 minutes later each night, but for the few nights around the Harvest Moon, the Moon seems to rise at nearly the same time each night: just 25 to 30 minutes later across the U.S., and only 10 to 20 minutes later for much of Canada and Europe. Corn, pumpkins, squash, beans, and wild rice the chief Indian staples are now ready for gathering.

• Full Beaver Moon – November This was the time to set beaver traps before the swamps froze, to ensure a supply of warm winter furs. Another interpretation suggests that the name Full Beaver Moon comes from the fact that the beavers are now actively preparing for winter. It is sometimes also referred to as the Frosty Moon.

• The Full Cold Moon; or the Full Long Nights Moon – December During this month the winter cold fastens its grip, and nights are at their longest and darkest. It is also sometimes called the Moon before Yule. The term Long Night Moon is a doubly appropriate name because the midwinter night is indeed long, and because the Moon is above the horizon for a long time. The midwinter full Moon has a high trajectory across the sky because it is opposite a low Sun.

As interesting and as exciting as all that may be, this is still what I want to make:

Soon enough I'll be bitching about winter, but in the meantime, think nice cool thoughts for me, with a hint of spicy chili!

It's been a very long while

2010-08-31T20:42:00.004-05:00

Yeah, I'm not dead. My last post was rather ominous...Good news: I was not hijacked by Somali pirates or held for ransom in London. Bad news: I can't help you with your penile enlargements or help you scrub your credit score in 15 days or less....

It's been a bit crazy in Moxie-land since my last post...Handsome, Darling and I went on an epic So-Cal adventure that included in 9 days:

1. The Orange County Fair
2. Medieval Times
3. Disneyland
4. California Adventure Park
5. Knott's Berry Farm
6. Legoland
7. Coronado Island and Del Coronado Hotel
8. San Diego Bay Tour
9. The USS Midway Museum
10. San Diego Museum of Man
11. SeaWorld
12. San Diego Model Railroad Museum
13. The Reuben S. Fleet Science Center
14. San Diego Natural History Museum
15. San Juan Capistrano Mission
16. Huntington Beach (TWICE!!!)
17. San Diego Zoo

Darling also turned 6 and started 1st grade. I can't believe how much she has grown in such a short time. I know it sounds so trite, but it's true. She grew 2.5 inches this summer and her new found "big girl" attitude is just crazy. She was my little, little baby just two seconds ago....

I guess I've been quiet lately because I've been doing a lot of personal thinking. Also a lot of personal filtering....No one, not even Handsome, knows about this blog. I've always liked it that way. I started it as a way to just gush out my real thoughts and feelings, but then I started self-censoring. I was worried people in my real life would find this blog. And then, looking back through my posts, I realized I wasn't saying anonymously what I wanted to say anonymously in the first place. It just all ended up being crap and half hearted.

I started judging my friends' blogs they promoted on Facebook. I looked at the half-assed delusional political ramblings of my (apparently now quite gay) dream guy in high school, the pathetic in front of a chain link fence photos of the acquaintance who wants to be a "fashionista" even though she's a middle level office worker in JoCo, and the almost hostile ramblings of my lesbian friend who is apparently prejudiced against straight, white Americans. I know I'm a better writer than any of them, but in the world of instant self-publishing, everyone's a writer. I've sold out an honest talent and I feel like I've lost my voice....

What sort of voice do I have to offer?

I started to question it. I still haven't figured that out.

Things I haven't written about but should have/thought about it:

1. My absolute distaste for the girl in the office who manipulates the men with her inappropriate clothes (when is a strapless sun dress and inconvenient heels ever appropriate in a casual/kind of business casual environment?) and giggly, stupid girl shit. I'd love to know the story of why one of sales guys was fired. Corporate "investigators" were called in for that one and I know for a fact she is somehow involved. It's an office mystery that is probably just going to make me sick to my stomach. I really don't want to know.

2. How I felt when I heard the girl who did everything in her power to destroy my marriage to Handsome got engaged. I give her an "A" for effort, but some men (thankfully) are just "un-stealable". I don't blame her for trying since Handsome is amazing, but I feel sorry for the guy she's tricked. I wish I could have a very serious conversation with her fiancee, but that's just weird and the whole attempt was very hush-hush because Handsome and I tend to try to avoid painful but insignificant drama (yes, I know, I married an actor, but still...)

3. Darling's school. She goes to a charter school and it's such a great school with such an awesome learning environment. It's such a blessing/alternative to the KCMSD/parochial education. I'm proud of how well she's doing and of the school's awesome achievements, but I don't want to write about it so much that it's recognizable.

4. Some people talk about how it is such a shame so much history is being destroyed in KC, but here I am, working my ass off in my "spare time" to preserve a very important part of our history and I have to keep my mouth shut until the lawyers settle it all out. Let's just say it's like being given a box of awesome treasures and having no idea what's inside and how to go about figuring out what's inside. You just know that the outside parts will lead to even more awesome treasures. In the end, no one will probably care except a bunch of historians, but it's partially the reason I haven't had a day off since Aug. 1st, so it's kind of a big deal to me.

5. How I feel coming up on the 14th anniversary of my rape. Every year around this time the nightmares start up again and I hate that no matter what I do, I can't stop them from showing up. It's always the same dream, I'll even recognize that I'm having it and try to change it in the middle of dreaming it and it never really works. No amount of counseling has ever been able to divert the outcome of the dream.

So...anyway...that's kind of where I'm at.

I'm still reading all of my usual blogs and even if I've not commented lately, I'm still reading your stuff and still applaud the great writing of my favorite bloggers (that would be you!) Keep up the good work!

Freaking out!!!

2010-07-07T10:53:00.003-05:00

I just found out my hotmail and facebook have been hacked and the passwords changed on me. I'm locked out of both. I'm freaking out. I've had my hotmail account since 1998 and never been hacked!!! Hotmail says it will take up to 24 hours to verify that I'm me so I can get back in. I don't know what to do! I've got tons of info/passwords stored there (STUPID!!!!). I've changed everything else I can think of, but I'm freaking.

AHHHH!!! I feel electronically raped!

Retro Gag: Bad Choices with Seafood Edition

2010-06-30T11:58:00.006-05:00

It's been forever and a day since I've posted (much of anything) a Retro Gag post, but alas, I can usually find something that's disgusting and this takes the cake, or the Jello mold...

Behold the Lobster Relish Mold:

I know, it kind of burns, doesn't it? Don't look directly at it...indirectly looking at it out of the corner of your eye makes it a bit easier...

Take note of the baby olive mold right next the volcano of suspended lobster meat. Disgusting. I still can't figure out what the little basket-y things are, and that's probably for the best.

This too is a horrifying recipe for "Ring Around the Tuna" (Just the name makes me cringe and think of dirty filthy STDs)

The worst part of this recipe is the fact that the Tuna is green. Perhaps eating green meat concoctions is ok for some people, but I'm literally gagging. Not to mention the mix of Lime jello, onions and olives.

Salmon Float

Salmon, jello, tomato, vinegar and hard boiled eggs. Sweet Mother of Pearl!!! It looks like it's staring at me...I wouldn't turn my back on this dish at a church supper.

Tongue Mould

You know what? I think at this point the "chefs" that wrote this cookbook are just fucking around with this one. I cannot think of single human being who would willingly eat tongue flavored Jello. I feel sorry for the artist who had to draw the picture. Completely uncalled for.

There are some other great/terrifying Jello Recipes over here. Check them out if you dare!

Biting My Tongue

2010-06-15T09:56:00.007-05:00

I knew this day would come...

The day I put Darling into swimming lessons...

It's a day I've dreaded and looked forward to for years and it's finally here. Darling began her first official swim education last week.

I grew up at a lake and my very first job I ever had was teaching American Red Cross Swimming. I loved teaching so much that I did it for 11 years. I even got my Water Safety Instructor certification which would have allowed me to run any of the ARC's Learn to Swim programs. Darling is now taking lessons at one of the places that I taught because I'm a control freak and wanted to make sure it was a great program.

It still is a great program. Mostly.

Handsome knows that I'm rather opinionated and asked if I was going to be ok with someone else teaching her. I was told long ago by mothers who taught swimming to never try to teach your own child because they'll just see it as Mama/kid play time.

"Nonsense!" thought I.

Then I had a kid.

And promptly shut my mouth.

Darling can cling wrap to me like the best of them and in the previous 4 summers of her life, I could get her to do no more than put her face in the water for a few seconds and blow bubbles before it turned into play time.

Formal training was needed.

It's amazing what kids will do for strangers/teachers and never underestimate the power of positive peer pressure. I've used it on kids before. And it works like a charm. Darling is the only girl in her class and refuses to let the boys out-do her. I applaud that. Not even her intense fear of floating on her back unsupported keeps her from trying to best the boys.

Still, I can't help but watch her class and others and think about better ways to teach the skills. I'm good at several things, but I'm really good at teaching swimming. I've taught everyone from babies to senior citizens and I was blessed with great teachers myself.

It bugs me to see a teacher tell a kid to put their face in the water/float on their back when they won't do it themselves. Dry hair is not part of teaching. Fully interacting with your students by showing them what you want them to do is very important. I hate seeing her teacher scurry off to the hot tub when her beginners class is still trying to get out of the pool. Or dunking their heads semi-forcibly under the water.

I'd love to go back to teaching in the evenings, but with my full time marketing job and the museum, there's just no way. I also need to let go and just let my kid learn. No one is perfect....I can always go back and fix the things that need fixing.

Sigh...

It's the little things, really to be thankful for...

2010-05-28T15:17:00.002-05:00

Darling had her end of the year program at school today. She sang beautifully, even if she was a little stage shy...she's got stage potential according to her father.

Another little kindergarden boy from another class, lit up a huge smile, waved to his mom and shouted, "Hi, Mama!!!" and all of us parents smiled/laughed a little at his cuteness.

He was adorable right up to the point in the middle of a song when he abruptly stopped singing and picked his nose with a decided flair. He regarded it thoughtfully on the end of his finger and then popped it into his mouth, chewing it as dramatically as if it were Laffy Taffy.

I was worried the 40ish year old man in front of me was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard.

Every parent (except the mom of the booger muncher) had to be sighing with relief that it wasn't their kid who put on such a spectacle this time.

Ahhh...the joys of parenthood!

Thank God for little Darling....

Vintage Awesomeness...

2010-05-11T09:45:00.004-05:00

These make me want to go back to Kindergarten, when creating art didn't involve Adobe Creative Suite and mainly consisted of Dali-esque renditions of rainbows and unicorns...

*sigh*

More good stuff here.

Death to the Happy Meal?

2010-04-28T11:23:00.005-05:00

As the mother of a Kindergartner, I was horrified this year when Darling's school requested that no candy or unhealthy snacks be sent to share with the other kids at the Halloween party.

No. Halloween. Candy.

Trust me when I say it was a rather glum celebration.

Same situation for Christmas and Valentine's Day. Plus, there was a note sent home requesting that parents not put "dessert unless it was fresh fruit" in their child's lunches.

I'm very much in favor of teaching children healthy eating habits, but I also believe in "everything in moderation" (it took Darling until Thanksgiving to finish off all of her Trick or Treat candy...only 2 pieces per night).

I was taken aback when I read about the banning of toys in Happy Meals in California.

I guess cheap, plastic toys make kids fat...

I firmly believe in teaching children that healthy eating habits are one of the important life skills they need to know. Healthy eating in childhood tends to lead to healthy eating as an adult. Darling enjoys going to the grocery store and helping choose what's going in her lunch that week...the choice of apple sauce over yogurt is thrilling for a 5 yr old, I guess. But, it's also important to teach them that's it's ok to splurge once in awhile (we let Darling go to McDonalds about twice a month as a treat/convenience for us).

I don't think taking the toy/joy out of the McDonalds experience is really going to reduce the fat/sodium content a child consumes. Darling's standard Happy Meal is a 4 piece Chicken McNugget meal with 2% milk and apple slices (she doesn't like the caramel dipping sauce). This isn't a horrible meal, but by no means would I call it exceedingly healthy. I know Darling enjoys playing in the Playland more than she really cares about the toy. It's more about the treat of eating out.

I think many parents, but not apparently enough for the state of California, try to teach their kids that McDonalds (and the toy) are a once-in-awhile treat. I think this is a bass-akwards way of trying to "keep kids healthy." Why not put stricter laws into effect for the sodium/fat content of kiddie meals? Why not offer Chicken McNuggets without the breading? Or a grilled chicken kid's sandwich? Or a kiddie sized salad? Change the food, not the fun...

A White Woman From Waldo Speaks Out

2010-02-26T12:02:00.006-06:00

It's been quiet around my blog for the last month, mostly because IRL I've been super-extra busy. If you've read my blog for any amount of time, you know, Constant Reader, that I'm pretty opinionated and I'm finally taking the time to voice my opinion on an increasingly crazy situation.

For my out of town groupies, here's the gist: An African-American man is suspected in up to 4 rapes in a predominately white, middle-class, Kansas City neighborhood in the last several months.

The news media is making a circus out of it.
Vigils have been held to catch the creep.
Vigilantism is making the situation worse.
Some bloggers are blaming racism.
Innocent black guys are being given the stink eye.

As a white woman who lives in the Waldo/Brookside area, and as someone who was raped (when I was 19), I'm begging the craziness to stop. This is getting increasingly ridiculous. I have several women friends that live in the area. Curious about what they thought, I asked them their opinion about the situation. We're all 20s-40s, white, women who are often home alone late at night. In my case, I'm married and my 5 yr old daughter is home with me until Handsome returns around 11 pm.

Here's the crazy thing: None of us are freaking out about the potential of being raped by this guy, but the media coverage is upsetting us. Yes, they need to catch this guy, but the media is causing a lot of fear. When you're afraid of something, stupid shit starts happening.

It's a miracle that no one was hurt when the idiot vigilante followed that innocent African-American guy all the way to KCK because he thought he'd found the rapist. I feel sorry for all of the men being given dirty, suspicious looks. I wish to publically apologize to all of you for my neighbors' stupidity.

To say this has anything to do with race is ridiculous and you're a race baiter. Stop it. You're just making it worse. I don't care if the guy is purple, yellow, green or brown, rapists come in all sizes, shapes and colors. It's an identifying factor. Deal with it. In order to catch a criminal, you need a description.

Equally, it's stupid to say that just because this is happening in one of the nicest parts of the city to live in, it's getting all this media attention. People in Waldo/Brookside don't typically follow the "Don't Snitch" credo when it comes to crime. We live in an area where people take pride in their community and if something happens, we speak up and demand that it stop. Community activism is alive in our area. We call the police and demand media attention.

What does scare me is that 70% of all rapes go unreported. If that's true, are there more victims out there? Is he just targeting Waldo or are we the only ones speaking up? Is he also targeting women east of Troost and they aren't reporting it because of the asinine "Don't Snitch" crap?

I refuse to get worked up over this situation and live in fear. My friends feel the same way. Other than double checking the door locks and outside lights at night, and making sure that my cell phone is next to me when I go to bed (before Handsome gets home), I just make sure that I'm aware of my surroundings.

These are all things that women should be doing any way.

I live in between houses with two very noisy dogs. I figure between their barks and my fierce attack cats, I'll be fine.

If you see this guy, don't approach him, call the police.

Endless Google

2010-01-26T08:44:00.003-06:00

Ok. This is VERY cool (if you're a complete nerd like me.)

Open a new internet window. Type this in the address bar: http://www.googlegooglegooglegoogle.com/

Four Google searches, one Google window!

Amazing!

If you type the web site into one of the searches, and click it's link, you get 4 more Google searches.

Not sure if this is completely useful, but it's interesting.

What will Google think of next?

Get Me Some Lysol Disinfectant Spray

2010-01-21T12:16:00.003-06:00

Just found out Handsome has strep.

Fabulous...

Here's hoping Darling and I don't get it.

If you need me, I'll be bathing in anti-bacterial hand gel. (I know it's mostly a placebo, but it makes me feel better).

Thinking of those in Haiti

2010-01-13T11:35:00.002-06:00

Sending my prayers and happy thoughts out to those who are affected by the earthquake in Haiti. If you're interested in donating money to help, click here.

Good Reminder

2010-01-12T22:18:00.006-06:00

I'm a very good theatre widow.

For the last 13 years, whether we were in class or newlyweds or new parents, I've always accepted my handsome hubby's desire for his hot, passionate mistress.

He's an actor.

I'm not.

I've learned to share him with the other passion of his life.

That sometimes means not seeing him past 6:30 pm until the next morning.

Honestly, it might be a bigger problem if his rehearsal schedule wasn't so demanding when we were first together.

I've learned to share him and so has Darling...

Nevertheless, I LOVE LOVE LOVE the great singer songwriters in America. Harry Chapin is one of my favs. (If you don't know him, he's the one who wrote/first sang "Cats in the Cradle")...

Handsome just started a new show and after having him home for a month, Moxie's feelin' lonely tonight...so...I share the story of one of the most patient career widows....

DOGTOWN BY HARRY CHAPIN

Up in Massachusetts There's a little spit of land.
The men who make the maps, yes, they call the place Cape Ann.
The men who do the fishing call it Gloucester Harbor Sound,
But the women left behind, they call the place Dogtown.

The men go out for whaling, past the breakers and the fogs.
The women stay home waiting they're protected by the dogs.
A tough old whaler woman who had seen three husbands drown,
Polled the population and she named the place Dogtown.

There's all these grey faced women in their black widow's gowns,
Living in this grave yard granite town.
Yeah, you soon learn there's many more than one way to drown;
That's while going to the dogs here in Dogtown.

And she speaks: My father was a merchant all in the Boston fief.
When my husband came and asked him for my hand.
But little did I know then that a Gloucester whaler's wife
Marries but the sea salt and the sand.

He took me up to Dogtown the day I was a bride.
We had ten days together before he left my side.
He's the first mate of a whaling ship,
the keeper of the log.
He said, "Farewell, my darling, I'm going to leave you with my dog."

And I have seen the splintered timbers of a hundred shattered hulls,
Known the silence of the granite and the screeching of the gulls,
I've heard that crazy widow Cather walk the harbor as she raves
At the endless rolling whisper of the waves.

Sitting by the fireside, the embers slowly die.
Is it a sign of weakness when a woman wants to cry?
The dog is closely watching the fire glints in his eye.
No use to go to sleep this early, no use to even try.

My blood beats like a woman's,
I've got a woman's breast and thighs.
But where am I to offer them
to the ocean or the skies?

Living with this silent dog
all the moments of my life,
He has been my only husband;
am I a widow, or his wife?

Yes, it's a Dogtown and it's a fog town,
And there's nothing around 'cept the sea pounding granite ground
And this black midnight horror of a hound.

I'm standing on this craggy cliff,
my eyes fixed on the sea.
Six months past, when his ship was due,
I'm a widow to be.
For liking this half living with the lonely and the fog,
You need the bastard of the mating of a woman and a dog.

And I have seen the splintered timbers of a hundred shattered hulls,
Known the silence of the granite and the screeching of the gulls,
I've heard that crazy widow Cather walk the harbor as she raves
At the endless rolling whisper of the waves.
At the endless rolling whisper of the waves.
At the endless rolling whisper of the waves.

Well, Where the Hell Have You Been?!

2010-01-09T19:20:00.009-06:00

There's a little voice in my head that sounds a lot like my mother, complete with hands on the hips, angry tinge to the words, that has been chastising me for not blogging more.

Where the hell have I been?

I can't tell you. I'm not sure if it's writer's block, a boring life, or just general laziness, but my blogging has definitely slacked off in recent months. I make no excuses...it is what it is... (I hate that phrase sometimes)...

I am indeed still alive, surviving the snow-pocalypse that has covered KC in the (now dingy gray) white stuff. The holidays were weird this year because of the blizzard (we haven't had one of those since the 1800's apparently) that happened on Christmas Eve...I didn't get to join my BFF's Sicilian family for Christmas Eve, my biological family and I are barely on speaking terms (AGAIN!), and my hubby's brother moved to California. All this in one week.

The holidays sucked, quite frankly, unless you count in the factors of my daughter's complete excitement on Christmas (can't we all be 5 yrs old on Christmas morning?), the late night wrapping/bonding my hubby and I did, and the fact that his family, sadly, overcompensates for the crappy way my family treats me. I love my hubby's family and every year I learn more and more that they are my real family (one that may be dysfunctional, but still loves you no matter what, unconditionally).

So, new year, new me...right? I promise to be more faithful in posting and I promise to bring the crazy that I usually do.

That being said, here's some really random thoughts:

1. My husband is an absolute saint. In the last week he has been home 5 days with a VERY BORED 5 year old since school was cancelled, dealt with her boredom while trying to work from home, shoveled more snow than he has had to in the last 3 yrs combined, climbed on the roof to figure out a nasty leak that sealed our front door shut in ice, and has been loving and patient all through it. He deserves a Congressional Medal of Honor for this shit.

My child is so weird. She absolutely freaks out when you refer to the "collar" on her shirt. She is convinced there is another word for it. "Dogs and cats wear 'collars' Mama, not PEOPLE!!!" I've given up convincing her otherwise.

Apparently, conspiracy theory lovers, the Loch Ness Monster is dead. That sucks.

I've been snot-enhanced for the last week and a half because my brother in law brought his sick, snotty kids to our house right before New Year's. Darling caught it and now I have. Thanks a fucking lot.

I sat in a cold drafty museum all day today with absolutely no visitors in 5 hours (I don't blame any one for not wanting to get out in this.) I sent my docent home because I felt guilty she wasn't being paid to be out in this frozen tundra. Despite being completely empty, I heard a door slam and a little child's voice 2 rooms away (singing something somewhat familiar)...real enough for me to check out the house and make sure no one had accidentally wandered in the museum without me knowing. Of course there was no one (still alive) there. Freaky.
I don't like being freaked out.

It's cold here in good ol' KC. I found this website that compares your current temperature to Star Wars climates. Interesting, but who really cares? Also, if you were Luke Skywalker, how long could you survive in a TaunTaun carcass...answer here. Considering the KC Arctic Blast, this info might be handy.

Why all the Pantyhose Hate?

2009-12-02T14:11:00.004-06:00

While reading Sinic's post about her absolutely awesome new suit (break a leg on your interview!!!!) I was exasperated that she decried the wearing of pantyhose.

While I agree with Sinic on many things, this is just one thing I don't get. It seems like none of the women my age (early 30's or younger) like wearing hose. I'm serious. Nobody I know likes them. Is there something wrong with me for loving them?

I love the fall/winter for many reasons. One of them is getting to wear knee high boots and closed-toe shoes with high heels on them. I love woolen tights and pantyhose (stockings if I'm feeling naughty!) during the winter. Summertime is a completely different story. I'd rather be barefoot, to be completely honest. But in winter, I love the warm snugness of wrapping my legs (one of my better physical traits) in nylon.

Am I old fashioned?

Maybe not...

I'll wear my hose with pride.

Post-Apocalypse: Kansas City, Here I Come!!

2009-11-24T12:22:00.003-06:00

This is bizarre...According to the Business Insider, my good ol' hometown of Kansas City is one of 12 Places To Go If The World Goes To Hell.

According to the website:

No matter what happens to the USA, Kansas City will probably be okay. It's not at either one of the coasts, so you don't have to worry much about security or a foreign invasion or rising sea levels. It is surrounded by plenty of farmland (suitable for raising grain and livestock), and it's also at the intersection of several rail lines, so that if we experience an oil spike of unimaginable proportions, you'll still have access to transportation -- in fact, the city should thrive as a hub of activity.

Well, that's very comforting. I'd rather go to Rio...

Thank You!

2009-11-11T13:18:00.002-06:00

To all the veterans that visit today, thank you for your service and dedication to your country. As someone who has had family fight in every major conflict since the American Revolution (except Desert Storm), please know I appreciate your sacrifices! I'm especially thinking of my cousin, John, who is in Iraq today. Please stay safe!

For anyone interested, here's a cool article about the Navajo Code Talkers from WWII.

And, yes, indeed it has been a long time since I last posted, but I am doing fine. Lots going on, including my company moving across town. But I have a window and a nice, new, big, pretty desk, so I'm trying not to be fussy about the extra 20 minutes that was added to my commute.

Shows to Haunt Your DVR

2009-10-20T12:23:00.003-05:00

I just saw a great TV Guide-type list of some "scary" shows and movies coming up in the next week or so...something to scare everyone!!!

Enjoy!

Scary DVR List

There goes one of my favorite conspiracy theories

2009-10-14T11:04:00.010-05:00

I am a huge fan of The Doors and one of my absolutely FAVORITE conspiracy theories (crazier the better is what I say!) is that Jim Morrison is still alive. Apparently living either in Paris or in Oregon or hell, just about anywhere. Even Ray Manzarek is convinced Jim is possibly alive and hanging out on a remote island.

Regardless, it was a highly circumstantial death...My theory is that everyone was so high, nobody really remembers what happened. I wonder how much of the historical record has been screwed up because of mind/memory-altering substances. It would be curious to research that...

Anywho, one of my favorite conspiracy theories is blown to bits and not even because he really is dead and was killed in a Wiccan handfasting ceremony, because, you know, it probably explains everything.

Jim, I guess, is, alas,really dead as can be seen in the photos below taken by a rock historian, Bret Meisner.

Eerie, huh? Maybe it's time to start new conspiracies about WHY he is haunting his own grave...

At least when I someday make my pilgrimage to leave a bottle of whiskey on his grave at the Pere Lachaise Cemetery in Paris, I know he might get some use out of it in the afterlife.

Man...now I want to crank up "Soul Kitchen" and bliss out!

No one ever said she didn't have a good imagination...

2009-10-09T12:10:00.004-05:00

In a day and age where parents are guilt tripped into creating perfect little adults that read on a college level by the third grade, it's nice to know Darling's still got a crazy streak.

She probably gets it from her parents.

ps...note the fact she's lost her bottom two teeth. Kindergarten picture day is Monday. Awesome.

Apparently, I have a "sucker" tattoo

2009-10-09T11:42:00.008-05:00

Yep. I probably have "Sucker!" tattooed on my ankle in invisible ink that only small, homeless animals can see. Either that or PETA knocked me out, kidnapped me and implanted me with a homing device so that every stray in a 25 mile radius can find me.

I don't know how else to explain it. Why do they always find me?

Because I'm a big, fat sucker when it comes to small cuddly things, that's why!

Here's the newest addition to the Moxie household, Nickel...

Yeah, I know. It's a crappy picture, but I'm not a wildlife photographer, ok? She's really not evil like she kind of looks like in this picture. She's very sweet.

So sweet that when I was sitting outside talking on my cell phone (because ATT can't seem to provide cell service inside) she hopped right up into my lap and started purring.

I didn't ask her to and I told her I couldn't possibly fall in love with her (too late) so she she should just am-scray. Surely she'd get the hint and be gone the next morning.

Nope.

Sitting right there on the doorstep, meowing to be let in. So I thought that surely she would be gone by the time I got home from work since we hadn't fed her or given her much attention.

Nope.

Admiring her persistance, I let Darling pet her. Darling then promptly fell in love with her as well. After consulting an exasperated Handsome, we let her in the house and discovered the cat we thought was a boy was really a girl. Which is a bummer, because I've always wanted to name a cat Nicodemus, but well, what can you do?

Nickel took immediately to the food dish and the litter box (thank GOD!!) but not our other two cats, Scaredy and Bully (not their real names).

While there hasn't been any bloodbaths (yet) there is a lot of hissing and a fair amount of caterwauling.

At 3 in the morning. Oh yes, lucky me...

ps...I fully acknowledge that I am one cat away from the dangerous "Cat Lady" territory, so please think happy, non-stray thoughts for me because while Handsome is a patient and tolerant man, he does have his limits.

TGIO!!!

2009-10-07T13:05:00.014-05:00

Thank goodness it's October!

My favorite month!!

and...yeah...um...Wow! 2 weeks from whence I last posted. I should apologize, Constant Reader, but I'm not gonna. I'll just let my Catholic guilt steep a little.

It's been a crazy, wild autumnal ride through Moxie-topia. Everything from Darling's lost teeth, to Handsome closing and opening another show to in-law visits and stray cat adoption and planning my sister's birthday party, it's been insanity. Not to mention the generic melee that the month of October usually brings.

Still, October is my favorite month and while I haven't been blogging/commenting, I have been collecting some pretty awesome finds from around the internet that are related to my favorite time of the year.

So, I brought you some stuff, that makes up for my absence, right?

Pumpkin Bites

I'm a HUGE fan of pumpkin pie and these are just so darling! I saw them over at Bakerella and now I'm making these for my sister's birthday party on Saturday. Get the recipe! I can't wait to make these.

(Side note: I LOVE making pumpkin pie, but when my grandma-in-law comes to visit, I can't make it with nutmeg because she's allergic. Who the F*CK is allergic to NUTMEG? Nobody, that's who. I think she's making it up.)

Leafy Luminaries

Gorgeous, no?

Autumnforest is one of my favorite bloggers. These luminaries are so adorable. Nice, cheap, easy decorating that even a kindergartener can do it. Go and check out her blog this month for some really great ghost related topics. She's truly awesome!

Scary Board Games

Ok, well, you were already half way to a party anyway with the pumpkin bites and luminaries, so you might as well hit the thrift stores (or Amazon) and find one of these awesome retro-scary board games. These look like so much fun! (notable exception: Ouija board. Read here if you want my full opinion of the damn things. I don't like repeating myself.)

Trick-or-tini

Time to kick back with a Trick-or-tini or two (try saying that after having more than two), or one of these, and just enjoy Moxie's favorite month!

Even though I'm not doing the Ghost Posts this year (I really am busy, I'm not making it up!), you can still enjoy my archives and I'll probably post a few this month just for fun.

If you want to send me a ghost story, I'd be more than happy to have a guest blogger for a day!

The moxie of America

2009-09-18T08:09:00.004-05:00

I saw this ad over at Advertising is Good For You and I just love it.

This is the can-do, moxie-filled spirit of our grandfathers. This is how our ancestors made the US great. They got off their asses and worked for it.

And, in all liklihood, they did some of it wearing Levis.

I can't believe I'm kind of inspired by a jeans ad.

Odd. Very odd.

But then again, I'm usually an optimist about the future...

Light One Candle for Mary

2009-09-17T08:32:00.006-05:00

It was the summer of 1997 and a nun made my dreams come true by giving me 6 tickets. It was the first time Handsome's parents had met mine and we sat in a sea of pot smoke at Starlight, anticipating the music to begin...

And there they were...Peter, Paul and Mary. I couldn't believe that after 20 years of life, I was finally hearing one of the most influential musical groups of my life. My parents and I were estatic, Handsome's less so, but still enthusiastic.

It was truly one of the best concerts I've ever been to and when Mary sang "Where Have All the Flowers Gone?" there were tears in my eyes.

To say PP&M influenced my life would be an understatement. I remember being in 2nd grade and picking dandylions out in right field of my softball game and not understanding why my dad was upset that I wasn't following the game...

I remember when I was 10 I decided I would walk up the aisle at my wedding to "The Wedding Song" (and I did!)

I remember being in high school and their music took on such a different meaning as I was awakened to social justice issues.

I remember the first time I sang "Puff the Magic Dragon" to Darling and how she giggled.

There are SO many memories and reasons I would like to honor her for. Her music was such a part of my life that it seems amazing that the songs are now done.

I'm not one to get all broken up over celebrity deaths. It's not my thing, but I've only been upset this much on the days that Mother Theresa, Pope John Paul, George Harrison and John Denver died. All very influential famous figures in my life. This one is just so sad...

Rest in peace, Mary Travers. Thank you for everything.

These make me want to throw a party

2009-09-15T15:17:00.005-05:00

Wow! I saw these and thought they were a great, cheap idea for a really awesome dinner party.

For short-term decorating, use sturdy apples like Red Delicious or Granny Smith to craft a cute bud vase. Simply core an apple as deep as you can, using a knife or a screwdriver. Keep your handiwork hydrated and fresh by spraying the inside and edges of the fruit with a mixture of water and lemon juice. Top with one large flower, or try a small bunch. Show off these delicious creations on a mantel, windowsill or atop a rectangular plate on the dining room table when entertaining.

Here's some other ideas that I saw, but I can't get past the apples right now...

Historically, reading...

2009-09-15T10:47:00.012-05:00

I've been on a reading jag. (As a result my DVR is almost 75% full. Yikes!) This happens from time to time and is usually because I've started a really fabulous book. While I read almost anything under the sun, I've hit on a couple of really great historical novels lately...neither are new releases, but they're new to me, so there you go. For really great book reviews, go visit Heather J. at Age 30+: A Lifetime of Books.

In the Presence of Mine Enemies
~by Harry Turtledove

The basic premise is "What if the Nazis won the war?" Not a unique pastiche, many people have played this "What if" game. Turtledove does it splendidly though. You follow the members of a secretly Jewish family, the Gimpels, and their Jewish and non-Jewish friends as they navigate the changes that follow a new Fuhrer being named to the head of the German Empire.

What I liked:
I liked Turtledove's imagination concerning how the world would be different at the beginning of the 21st Century. At times it was eerily chilling: After the 3rd World War in which the Nazis used nuclear bombs on Washington, DC and Philadelphia, Omaha became the new capital, the destroyed Liberty Bell was in Berlin on display, but sealed to protect from radiation.

I also liked the different perspectives through which Turtledove tells his story. From children in school, to Heinrich and Walther who work in the heart of the Reich, to an outspoken English professor, Susanna, the secret story of Jews in this strange new world is fascinating and at times heart-wrenching.

What I didn't like:
Very little. I thought at times Turtledove's writing mechanics were a bit elementary and maybe a bit awkward, and I didn't like the longer, somewhat laborious descriptions of playing bridge with their Aryan friends. I also was waiting for deeper emotional conflict/turmoil between the leading characters, but didn't feel like it ever came even after certain members of the family were arrested by the Nazis. But, overall, it was worth my time to read through to the end.

The Many Lives & Secret Sorrows of Josephine B.
~by Susan Gulland

A friend handed me this book and said, "You HAVE to read this! You'll love it!" knowing that I am a big fan of books such as The Emancipator's Wife: A Novel of Mary Todd Lincoln. I sat down one evening after Darling went to bed and thought "I'll just read a few pages and see"...Three hours later I look up at the clock and realize I'm half way through the book. As the first in a series of three books, The Many Lives takes the reader on a fascinating journey through the life of Josephine (Rose) de Beauharnais from her birth as Marie-Josephe-Rose Tascher in Martinique on a sugar plantation through the wild days of her unhappy first marriage and The Reign of Terror to the very beginning of her fateful relationship with Napoleon Bonaparte.

What I liked:
I loved this book! I know a pretty fair amount of French Revolution history, but I never knew much about Josephine Bonaparte before her marriage to Napoleon. The story is told through "diary entries" and "letters" and since it is about a historical figure, I appreciate that they were dated so I could tie them to a bigger perspective. I have no idea if it was true or not, but I found the prediction from a slave that she would be unhappily married, would then be widowed, and would then become queen really interesting. The novel is supposed to be relatively historically accurate and that's always a bonus for me. Now I just need to get the other two books!!

What I didn't like:
Um. Not much. I really enjoyed the voice that the character of Josephine had and I appreciate that it's not just a bodice ripper in an historical setting, but I wish it revealed a little more of the actions of her first husband, Alexandre, who played a pretty big role in the early Revolution. Also, at times, I feel as if the book has pacing issues. While it is undoubtedly a quick read, sometimes the story jumps ahead really quickly and you feel as if you might have missed something that happened in between and you wonder what the writer left out. Also, and I'm not sure if it can be helped since the story is told in diary form, I wonder whether the casual reader understands exactly what is going on during certain periods of the French Revolution. Any way around it, I'm eager to read the other two books.

I really enjoyed these books and I would encourage you to check them out. If you have any good historical fiction suggestions, send 'em my way!

I miss her so much today...

2009-09-11T09:04:00.004-05:00

Please go read this first...

I dreamt about her last night...

I don't remember everything, but I do remember that in my dream she held my face in her hands and said "I love you, doll baby". Just like she did a thousand times in real life.

My grandma was the original Moxie Mama. Her Brooklyn sass inspired me so much to be a bold, brave woman. I just wish I could hug her one more time.

I hate 9/11.

I hate spending the day with tears in my eyes, even though it's been 8 years.

Well, what does she do with them?

2009-09-09T12:21:00.004-05:00

Darling is on the precipice of losing her very first tooth and I have officially entered the Land Of I Don't Know...

After Handsome and I explained how the whole Tooth Fairy thing worked, and after being initially concerned about "squishing her under my pillow on accident", Darling hit us with a stumper:

What does the Tooth Fairy do with the teeth?

I really have no idea.

And the more I thought about it, the creepier the whole notion of a Tooth Fairy became. Some fairy that sneaks into your room while you're asleep to take your teeth for unknown reasons and to leave you a couple of bucks for them.

I guess I better come up with some decent logic of why she wants them before that first little incisor falls...

The Crone Next Door

2009-09-03T12:01:00.005-05:00

After reading The Single Girl's post on her "nosy neighbor" I got to thinking about my erstwhile gem of a neighbor lady...

As soon as the ink was barely dry on our renter's contract at the house of horrors, our land(slum)lord gave the five of us college students a sickly, sweet smile and said, "Be nice to your neighbor lady. She'll call me in two seconds if you're doing something she doesn't like."

We should have known then.

The day we moved in she was sitting on her screened in porch with her 5 small, yapping dogs, watching us.

She came over to introduce herself, we'll call her Bette because you better believe we weren't sorry to move away from her.

The very first thing that came out of her mouth is, "I called _______ your landlord and found out about you. I'm just glad you're not illegals who will play their 'taco music' until 2 in the morning or druggies or Africans. One black guy who lived in your house grew pot on the second story balcony. (This is foreshadowing because we actually had a roommate that would attempt that a year later, but he wasn't a very good botanist). Anyway, I just wanted to let you know I'll be watching you."

I swear this is a direct quote.

Needless to say, our liberal arts college minds were blown by this narrow-minded, bigoted, little old lady. I don't think any of us had ever heard anybody refer to minorities like that out loud. We were white-bread, protected kids from the suburbs. We were in shock.

As it turned out, we had some pretty wild parties there and Bette never said a word, mostly I think because at least we were white and weren't going to steal from her.

Bette had lived in the house her grandfather built around the turn of the twentieth century and she knew at least 60 years of gossip for every house on the street. She was more than willing to share her stories which kind of fascinated me as an historian and bugged on the level that it just proved she had about 70+ plus years of snooping and gossiping under her belt. God only knows what horror stories she told the next people who moved into our house.

Probably that we had a suicidal cat and had love lifes more complicated than Melrose Place...

to be continued...

Well, it's an honor!

2009-09-02T07:52:00.003-05:00

I just found out that I have been named Best KC Mommy Blog (a dubious honor) by Kansas City's Best Blogs.

While I shun the "Dooce"-like title of Mommyblogger, it's nice to know The Editors (whoever they may be) know what the difference is between a "look at my kid" blog and a mother who happens to blog.

This has totally made my day!!!

The Triumphant Return of Indecision

2009-08-28T14:02:00.005-05:00

Children of the '80's: Remember "Choose Your Own Adventure" books?

YAY! They're coming back!
(I bookmarked this a few days ago and I forget where I originally saw it and I'm very fastidious about giving credit where credit is due, so a thousand apologies...)

I LOVED these books when I was a kid. I remember the turmoil of trying to decide which page I turned to next. Why this was such a tremendous issue, I don't know, because I always inevitably read every possible combination and twist. 42 possible endings? I had to read every single one.

Seriously, read the story about their return. Very cool interview...a powerful example that you have to have good marketing behind whatever you try to sell.

Ketchup Time

2009-08-26T11:59:00.015-05:00

Hello, Constant Reader!

Sorry for the unexplained blog-cation...I meant to write during my week off from work (precious, precious time between Darling's 5th birthday and the first day of Kindergarten), but low and behold, the week zipped by and there I sat with a Google Reader at the 1,000+ New Items point. (I *MIGHT* have skimmed through some, but I promise that I totally read whatever you wrote!)

So, let me ketch you up....

Things Moxie learned on her 9 day stay-cation:

Do not attempt to spray glitter on fairy wings on a windy day unless you WANT to look like Tinkerbell's whore.

I CAN get sick of leftover hot dogs

Screw the holidays, stay-cations where you do what you want to do, when you want is where it is AT!!! The best, most relaxing va-ca ever!

The Narnia exhibit at Union Station was AWESOME!!! Slightly heavy on the Disney-ness of the movie making stuff, but they had some great CS Lewis paraphenalia...

The Lego Exhibit at Crown Center is awesome!!

Kalideoscope is still incredibly awesome and Fritz's train restaraunt is still overpriced crappy food...

The Butterfly Exhibit at Powell Gardens was VERY cool...

So was their splash fountain!

One of the cutest things about Darling is that she always has to "stop and smell the flowers". Whether it's the grocery store or a random sidewalk, she must take a second and enjoy them. At Powell Gardens, that got a bit out of hand...

All in all, it was a great vacation. Maybe we slept too late and played too much Pretty, Pretty Princess, but it was fun...

It all led up to the big day...First Day of Kindergarten...I only turned into Sobby McWeepypants for a minute or two...

Long and short of it all, Moxie's back and super plus dedicated to bringing you more tales from our stay-cation adventures.

So, I'm back and promise to get back to giving you wonderfully insightful, thought-provoking blog comments (umm...yeah, 'cause I've always done that, right?)

pppssst: If you are in KC this weekend, The Toy and Miniature Museum is offering free admission this Sat. Aug 29th. I've ALWAYS wanted to go so I'm a little excited. Storytime, balloon animals, face painting, what could be more fun for little kids? (I know, a lot, but still).

Hot Dog Buffet Suggestions?

2009-08-13T12:44:00.003-05:00

Since hot dogs are one of Darling's favorite things (Mama's also), we're planning on doing a Build Your Own Hot Dog bar for her birthday.

I need suggestions for some fun hot dog toppings...things for both adults and kids (but not neccessarily both).

Here's what I got so far:

Regular Mustard
Spicy Mustard
Ketchup
Relish
Jalepenos
Onions
Chili
Cheese (grated)
Rotel dip
Sauerkraut

I'm serving chips, pasta salad, veggie tray and fruit basket with it.

What am I missing?

What's your favorite hot dog topping?

Biting my tongue and biding my time...

2009-08-12T10:11:00.006-05:00

So, MIL is in town. I'm really, really grateful that she is here for the week to watch Darling in that No Man's Land of Vacation between summer camp and the first day of school.

Darling's 5th Birthday is also on Saturday so she's been helping us out a lot to get ready. Darling wanted a Tinkerbell birthday party so part of the fun is decorating fairy wings (girls) and pirate chests (boys). This requires a lot of homemade prep work for 16 pairs of wings and 10 cardboard boxes transformed into pirate chests. A LOT of work because I apparently enjoy doing things the hard way and my alpha-craft mom thing emerged.

Have I mentioned that I'm really f'in' grateful for my MIL?

Because I am.

Truly...

What is driving me nuts is HER.

I'm going to rephrase that...

SHE'S DRIVING ME BAT SHIT CRAZY!!!!

She's only been here 3 days and has made it clear that:

1. I can't cook so she makes dinner. Which I find rather amusing because I'VE certainly never mixed raw cabbage, carrots and Jell-O together nor have I served noodles and veggies so over-cooked they turn to tasteless mush.

2. I'm incapable of brushing my daughter's hair. I don't brush her thin, fine, curly-if-it-isn't-brushed-when-wet hair after bathtime. Hello! Split ends!! I won't budge on this. My hair is the same way and I've survived 32.5 years relatively split end free.

3. I am completely unreasonable when it comes to marital discussions. My grandparents had a pretty good rule: It's not your marriage, keep your mouth shut and let them work it out. It's worked well in family relationships for over 33 years. My parents employ this rule as well. My MIL did not get the memo. Handsome and I had differing opinions on a detail of the upcoming party. As oldest children, we sometimes don't want to budge. I don't need MIL to tell me her son is completely right (he's not) and I'm an idiot. Handsome and I have been working out details for almost 13 years without her help. None is needed now.

So, please, dearest Constant Reader, pray for me that I don't stick a fairy wand where it doesn't belong between now and Saturday?

thx bai...

KC Komen Walk: A Pictoral

2009-08-10T08:47:00.038-05:00

Yesterday was the KC Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure and it was an incredibly hot day. Despite that, Darling, Handsome, Mother in Law and I did the 5k Walk (like I could run that distance!) I raced in the memory of Handsome's Aunt/Godmother who passed away January 2008 and in celebration of my favorite docent at the museum who has survived for almost 5 years and counting. (I wore a special sheet saying "I run in celebration of _____" and gave it to my docent after the race yesterday and she almost cried. I was kind of surprised how touched she was...)

Having done the St. Louis Walk in June, I had a few thoughts.

There were 68,000 people (I think) in St. Louis. There were 28,000 in KC. Parking-wise, St. Louis and their MetroLink light rail whooped our 2 mile back up on I-70. STL was a lot more organized than KC.

In STL, there were people standing in the middle of the street handing out paper cups of water with trash cans near by. In KC, you were supposed to refill your water bottle from volunteers with gallon jugs and there were no misting stations. KC: Big Time Fail.

None of the businesses in Crown Center or Union Station were open after the race. This sucked. BUT, the free give away area in KC was set up MUCH better than in STL which was a major crunched-up mess-fest.

KC had a much more interesting walk route. Better scenery, better bands to play music along the way (Everything from jazzy blues to rockabilly to classic rock to alternative rock). More happier volunteers even though it was a lot hotter yesterday...Our Survivor's Walk (around the fountain in front of Union Station) was a lot more moving and special for the Survivors.

Despite my bitching about logistics, it was a lot more enjoyable overall in KC, but maybe I'm biased.

Here's some random pics from the day, please excuse the crappy photography but I was sweating, walking and more focused on climbing the hills.

Starting off early in Union Station.

Darling was NOT exactly enthusiastic to be up that early after a week at Grandma's...

There were some really great bands along the way...

This little boy's shirt broke my heart...

Darling was really impressed with the giant shopping cart...

Why does the WWI Museum have to look like a giant penis???

The splash fountains at Crown Center? Darling was ready for that!!!

Handsome has been growing out his hair for a year and a half in order to donate it to Beautiful Lengths, in memory of his aunt. Yesterday, after the Komen Walk, he finally cut it.

I'm relieved....and a little sad...and yes, I know...that is a lot of hair and yes it did all come from him.

Not on the Recommended Reading List

2009-08-04T10:56:00.004-05:00

I saw this list of Children's Books That Will Never Exist over on Parent Dish.

I laughed out loud on a couple of these...

Some of my favs:
~ A Beginner's Guide To Running With Scissors
~ Clïfford The Big Red Communist
~ Immanuel Kant: On Recess
~ Oh, The Things You'd Better Not Do If You Want To See A Dime of Your Inheritance
~ The Little Engine That Could, But Only If It Takes Its Ritalin
~ True Crime Stories: Of Stolen Lunch-Money
~ Richard Scarry's Wonderful World Under the Bathroom Sink

and of course, the one I'm sure Darling has gotten her hands on:

~ Temper Tantrums Made Easy

Check out the list, it's hilarious for anyone who is into classic kiddie lit.

RetroGag: Skinless Weiners and MORE!!!

2009-07-31T13:07:00.011-05:00

I realized that it's been a long time since I've ruined someone's lunch with my last RetroGag posting...Leave it to Moxie, I'll help you out with your diet.

First up is this post from The Good Ol' Days. I admit I am really inmature and skinless weiners made me giggle. That and the fact that the "Good Fairy" brought the good children these skinless wonders. That little old lady is really the witch from Hansel and Gretl in disguise. I'm sure of it.

See what I mean?

Next up, weiners in a "sack o' sauce". Don't worry, it's mild barbecue sauce...As someone from Kansas City, the nexus of all barbecue in the universe, I'm just letting you know that it might swim in a "sack of sauce" but that does not make it barbecue. Plus, I've always had an aversion to meat that comes in a can. I just can't do it. I also think those hot dogs look to be oddly "glistening". This too creeps me out a bit. I have no doubt why this product in no longer on the market.

Another fantastic RetroGag from my internet voyages comes to us from one of my very favorite bloggers, Thrift Shop Romantic.

Sweet Baby Jesus, what IS this?!

Apparently it's supposed to be an oyster/rice ring. I'm going to have nightmares about this one. Click thru and see the rest of the rice abominations and I promise you won't have to eat dinner tonight.

And finally, if you're worried about what to make for your next cocktail party, try this fabulous recipe from Woman's Day 1955 (thanks, Weird Recipe Finds).

Oh yes, my friends, it's our good friend, Jell-O, horribly defiled once again. This time, it's unflavored and mixed with "French" dressing.

I'm going to say this only once. Hot dogs should not be eaten cold. That's disgusting. They should also not be encased in French dressing flavored Jell-O. I know I shouldn't have to say these things, but apparently our foremothers didn't know any better in their gellatin-crazed, mid-century days.

I have a few more finds, but I can't stomach to put them up for you today, so I'll save them for next week.

Have a great weekend filled with delicious foods that in no way resemble what you just saw....and please remember, you cannot hold me responsible if you decide to actually try to make and consume any of the RetroGag recipes. (Plus, I hate saying I told you so.)

My Little Poopy?

2009-07-29T08:20:00.003-05:00

Hypothetical here...if a My Little Pony falls into the toilet, can it then be technically classified as a My Little Poopy?

I'm so glad this happened on my less-squeamish hubby's watch and not mine.

The Case of the Mysterious Daguerreotype

2009-07-27T09:16:00.004-05:00

It was a BUSY weekend, but I had a lot of fun. I saw a great play on Saturday night during an actual, honest to goodness date night with Handsome. These are rare and far between, so it was nice to spend time together.

It was also my weekend at the museum I work for 2 weekends a month. My job mostly consists of "being in charge" and "running things" and bossing around the little old lady volunteers, but this weekend I had a "project".

Someone donated a daguerreotype of who she thought was the original owners of the museum. It absolutely wasn't them, as most anyone could tell at first glance, but it did pose a very intriguing history mystery. (Sorry for no picture, but daguerreotypes don't photograph very well and these are sort of faded to begin with.)

So I got to do some research. Which I love to do. (I'm a nerd, I fully admit it!) My only real clue in trying to figure out the identities of the man and woman in the daguerreotype was found in the bottom of the corner of the print. "E. Jacobs N.O" was the clue.

On a hunch, I figured N.O. was New Orleans, since many photographers, even until late 20th Century, would mark their photos with their name and city.

A little google searching turned up Edward Jacobs, one of the pioneering daguerreotypists in the US.

It was fun researching the daguerroptypes for a few different reasons. First, I enjoy a challenge. Second, a few years ago I read "Feast of All Saints" by Anne Rice. (Surprisingly, it has nothing to do with vampires)It does have to do with the gens de couleur libre, or Free People of Color who have a fascinating, mostly unknown, history in New Orleans all their own.

In the book, one of the young men, Marcel, decides to become a daguerroytpist and the book revolves around his life and the "white" Southern planter father who foresakes him, his mother, sister and their dreams. If you've never read it, and you like historical fiction, it's a must read, even if you aren't an Anne Rice fan.

Unfortunately, I'm pretty sure my daguerrotype search is at a dead end. The two rather striking man and woman in my prints will probably remain unknown. All I know is they are allegedly from the family of the museum's past, they were upperclass, and judging by their clothes and the dates of Jacob's daguerroptype career, the year was between 1844 and 1861.

But their names are probably lost...which I find just as sad as the markers in cemeteries that fall into disrepair because no one is left to care for them. They probably lived interesting lives, they were young...the Civil War was about to start...their story may never be told...

Well, it's the thought that counts, I guess

2009-07-23T10:19:00.005-05:00

Last night Darling did NOT want to go to bed despite the 15, 10 and 5 minute warning that bedtime was approaching.

The tantrum that ensued was of biblical proportions.

I'm talking F7 tornado, a 6 on the Tantrum Richter scale.

It was a beautiful storm in the ferocity one small, almost 5 yr old was able to produce.

The cats scurried away to hide, I stayed out of arms length and I'm sure the neighbors thought I was skinning her alive.

When she finally calmed down, we began our nightly prayers. We always start by telling God what things we were thankful for that day.

Little Miss McGrumpypants glares over at me and says, "I'm thankful for my BAD. MEAN. Mom"

Sigh. At least bad parenting is in vogue...

But does it turn your lips orange?

2009-07-20T10:27:00.004-05:00

Truly, this is bizzare.

I enjoy the occasional Cheeto as much as the next gal, but seriously? Lip balm? Gross...but oddly intriguing...

The Secret of Tinkerbell

2009-07-17T14:30:00.004-05:00

We're taking Darling to see Peter Pan (some of our friends are in it) tomorrow night at a local community theater. She's very excited...

Daddy's an actor, so, she's a real theatre kid, minus the EMO and teenage angst. Then again, she's almost 5, so she still has time, I guess.

She LOVES going to shows, mostly I think because that's something that grown ups do and partly because she is the most imaginative kid I've ever met.

The best part of going to see Peter Pan is the fact that I told her that Tinkerbell is REALLY going to fly with Peter, Wendy, John and Michael.

She's dubious, to say the least.

Then I showed her Facebook pictures of the show that depicted Tinkerbell swirling magically all around the stage. She's in now hook, line and sinker. She keeps asking how they can really fly and I explain about Tinkerbell's magic dust, and then we discuss the chemical properties of it (it's made up of 3 parts magic and 1 part glitter).

Maybe it seems cruel to lie to her about the flying, but children are innocent and believe in magic for such a short time in their lives. Can't I kind of enjoy it while it lasts? Even if she finds out about the wires and harnesses, who cares? It's still amazing and magical that such a thin "rope" could hold up a person.

Darling is head over heels in the unicorn and fairies phase of her childhood. (Thank God it's not Hannah Montana yet.) She wants to wear her Tinkerbell wings tomorrow night and I think I'm going to let her. She's excited that she might get to say "Hi" to her after the show. (Since Tinkerbell is a friend of my hubby's I think there's a pretty good chance.)

No one ever said my hubby and I were "normal" parents, but at least we're having fun. I doubt if we scar her childhood with a little magic...

Hope you have a great weekend full of something magical to you!

Free AK-47 comes standard...

2009-07-17T11:23:00.002-05:00

As a marketing professional, I'll admit that some campaigns are better than other campaigns.

Over at Advertising Is Good For You, I saw this ad for Max Motors in Butler, MO.

Buy a truck get a free AK-47?!?!

What happened to the innocent days of Ray Adams' "free diamond necklace with a test drive"?

I don't think that I have ever seen a more irresponsible promotion in my entire life. Click thru to Max's website to check out the nifty gun-totin' graphic.

This idiot needs to win a Clio for "Shitiest Advertising Idea Ever Created"

Your last chance for a unicorn

2009-07-15T11:51:00.005-05:00

Oh yeah, today's the last day you can show your Moxie love and vote for me as the best Parent's Pick blog in KC. I doubt if I'll win, but it never hurts to ask. Remember, there are unicorns that poop Skittles on the line if I do win...

Also, check this out: 101 Muppets of Sesame Street. It's a cool roll over the Muppet for their bio and when they started on the show. Snuffy always cheers me up.

Check this out if you have a dirty computer screen. Kind of gross, but extremely helpful.

And, of course...these are some cool pieces of art that were done completely using a typewriter. This blows my mind and is three shades beyond perfectly amazing!

Where the hell have you been?!

2009-07-15T11:27:00.004-05:00

Sorry for the unannounced blog-cation I took, but things have been kind of heavy the last 2 weeks. Work is crazy and friends and family are full of drama. Sometimes it happens...

What's worst of all is I'm a fretter. I worry. I do it really well and stuff has come up in the last few weeks that truly accentuates this character trait in me.

First off, Handsome's sister moved to California to support her boyfriend as he goes through video game design school. I'm all for following your dreams, but boyfriend doesn't exactly have the strongest work ethic. He'd rather smoke pot than follow through with a dream. And really, video game design? Does that sound as economically realistic to you as it does to me?

I feel like a bitch for thinking that way, but I worry for Handsome's sister. She just graduated with a teaching degree and neither of them have jobs. They moved to California, which just so happens to be completely broke. They are renting a room from a guy they met on Craigslist, but never met in person. (See, it just keeps getting better and better).

Our friend group is divided down the middle of whether she'll come back with her heart broken...

Worse than that, my own sister was just diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis. She'll be 25 in a few weeks and my beautiful, talented, intelligent sister is having to deal with a very tough disease. She wanted to be a nurse for as long as I can remember and she graduated third in her nursing class. She's been an oncology nurse for the last 2+ years and has loved it.

It really feels unfair that she may not be able to continue that career that helps so many people. She'll be partially protected under the Americans with Disabilities Act, but they will probably take her off of floor rotations, which sucks since patient care is what she loves the most. But, if you have a disease where you randomly fall down (which she does), lifting sick patients is not a good thing. Plus, the medication they want her to go on is around $3k a month. She doesn't even make that much.

Sigh...I told you...heavy, heavy stuff.

2009-06-30T10:47:00.007-05:00

I've been quiet about the whole celebrity death-athon we've seemingly been on in the last week mainly because I dug Charlie's Angels, but had no real interest in the career (or hair) of Farrah Fawcett.

Likewise with Michael Jackson, I really stopped caring about him once he started becoming really, really weird and made mostly out of plastic. Sure, I tried to moonwalk in my day, I know the words to all his most popular songs and my sticker book in second grade was full of Thriller stickers, but he just wasn't my thing.

Their passings were sad, but we knew Farrah was dying so it kind of eased the blow, and I contend that the real Michael Jackson died years ago shortly after his sanity snapped. (Of course, I'm intrigued by emawkc's fabulous conspiracy theory, since I love theories like that.)

I was very surprised about Billy Mays. I loved that guy because he contridicted most rules of good marketing.

He was cheesy.

He was very, very loud.

He sold products with too-good-to-be-true claims.

BUT....

He was convincing.

You know you had your credit card ready for the operators standing by.

You believed in what he was selling because he told you it was awesome.

He could make you stop what you were doing and watch him shill for OxyClean, OrangeGlow, etc.

Billy Mays was a self-made man, and don't we just love that in America, The Land of Opportunity? You could tell he was a genuine guy if you ever watched his show Pitchmen.

In a crazy world of late night infomercials with characters like the guy in the question mark suit who wants to show you how to get millions of dollars in government grants, Mama Cleo and her fake Jaimaican accent, and ShamWow-I-got-bit-by-a-hooker Vince, Billy gave credibility to the infomercial form of advertising.

Because of his guy next door personna, you believed him and As-Seen-On-TV products were taken more seriously.

As a marketer who has worked the Home Show circuit, there are tons of "product demonstrators" out there. Some are good, some really suck. Wandering the crowded isles, you can tell who cares about the product they are selling and who is watching the clock for their shift to end. This is one reason Billy was such a great pitchman.

If you've seen the show Pitchmen, which is basically about inventors trying to get Billy Mays and Ron Popeil to endorse their products, you understand the power of the "Hi, Billy Mays here for-" seal of approval. Billy was his own product and also a firm promoter of cool stuff you didn't know you needed, but couldn't possibly live without.

I'm saddened by the ad world's loss of such a great guy. I wasn't going to really post anything about it, but I saw this picture over at Celebrity Pics this morning and decided to scribble/type this.

Thanks, Billy for the OxyClean, but you can keep the Big City Sliders. Rest in Peace...

Updating My List...Suggestions?

2009-06-25T14:07:00.002-05:00

Every four or five months or so, I go through my Google Reader list and update my blog roll on the side of my blog. I love sharing interesting bloggers with others.

I've found some of my favorite blogs from clicking through a link on someone else's site.

Check out my blog roll. Tell me if I'm missing a "must read"...If your blog isn't listed, let me know and I'll make the correction!

It only sounds weird out loud

2009-06-24T21:28:00.002-05:00

I was discussing our weekend plans with Handsome this evening and one of our friends was over.

After listening to us discuss our plans to see some Civil War re-enactors, the ghost hunters that will be at the museum, and the liklihood of some of our friends passing out as they do outdoor theatre this weekend, she turned to us and said, "You guys live the weirdest life"

Yeah, maybe so, but it's kind of fun.

Help me out, I'm getting my butt kicked

2009-06-24T10:41:00.004-05:00

Sooooo...maybe I'm too competitive, but I'd really like to win the Parent's Connect Award for best local KC Blog.

I'm currently getting my ass kicked.

Help a Moxie out?

Since I absolutely don't want to reveal my secret identity to my friends and family, I'm relying on you, Constant Reader, to "vote early and vote often"...

Bookmark the page and vote every day until July 15th.

If you need reminders of why you should vote for me, revisit some of my favorite posts:

The Ghost Posts last October and the fabulous contributions of some of KC's best bloggers

RetroGag

Who else is going to tell you about weird shit you can feed your kid?

Or predict your future?

Or tell you about antebellem underwear?

Or disappearing pennies?

I'd appreciate your support. Tell your friends and family to vote too! I need all the help I can get! You don't need to be from KC for me to be your favorite.

Enough with the shameful begging...look, I'll buy you a unicorn that poops Skittles if you vote for me and I win. It's been a long time since I've won an award for my writing and I crave acolades and meaningless praise, what can I say?

Go check on your neighbors

2009-06-23T12:25:00.002-05:00

It looks like the heat wave has already claimed two victims... This happens every year, but this always makes me so sad.

Please go check on your neighbors. If you're going to be outside, please don't forget to wear sunscreen and drink gatorade.

I'm a pacifist, but I really need one of these!

2009-06-23T08:38:00.001-05:00

How fun is that?

OMG!!! The Return of the Naugies!!!

2009-06-19T11:27:00.015-05:00

Do you know what's beautiful about the internet?

The absolute randomness.

If you've read my blog for very long, you know I'm slightly irrational at times. And deathly afraid of certain mythical creatures (gnomes!)

Today I was reading through my Google Reader and found this post on Found In Mom's Basement (a retro-fabulous blog of awesome vintage ads)

In case you're too lazy to click thru/in a hurry/more fascinated by my captivating words, this is what I saw.

That slightly frightening mythical creature is known as a Nauga (yes, as in Naugahyde) and is one of the most fabulous marketing ploys ever created.

I have been searching high and low for one of these and/or a picture of him. I, unfortunately, was google searching "Naughies" instead of "Naugas" and hadn't found one so I could explain to Handsome what they exactly were.

Don't you just want to give him a hug?

To be honest, my first encounter with a Nauga was at my grandparents' house when I was a wee lass. He scared the bejesus out of me until my father made up some total bullshit about them really being very good creatures that generally run in packs like wild dogs and help keep monsters out from under the bed.

(I was like 5 or 6, I had an irrational fear at the time, ok? It's not something I like to talk about and to this day I can't sleep without my feet being covered up).

Yes, my father was the most incredible story teller ever. Either that or I was exceedingly gullible. Both of which are true.

I was still slightly skeptical/afraid of this freakish thing that wasn't like any of my other cute stuffed animals, but Grandma allowed me to bring him home and I put him under my bed.

You know what?

He was very good at keeping monsters out from under the bed.

I kept that little sucker under my bed until I moved out for college.

And then, just as fate brought Naugie into my life, it cruelly swept him away.

My mom gave him to Goodwill.

I was a little upset by this, but time heals all wounds and I'm still on the lookout for one of these treasures (Now that I know it's NaugA and not NaugIE, I'm in business.)

If I could read JAPANESE, I could purchase one here...check out the Nauga-fabulous gallery of adoptables.

Sell!Sell! has a fabulous post about the history of the Nauga and some kick ass vintage goodies. You MUST check it out.

Side note of stupidity if you read the post:

*FOOTNOTE: The Nauga was nearly canned before it got chance to run, but was saved by research - albeit some very on-the-hoof research. The Federal Trade Commission in the US claimed the Nauga might be mistaken for a real-life species, and as such could be deemed deceptive advertising. To prove this was silliness, Lois and staff from his agency went down to Fifth Avenue in New York with the Nuaga advertising and asked passers-by "Is this a real animal?". Not surprisingly, the results showed that good old Joe Public had more sense than he/she was being credit for by the Commission, and the Nauga got to live.

Here is an alternative history of the Naugas complete with conspiracy theory goodness...And I am a sucker for that kind of thing...

Currently, in my office at work I have a green naugahyde chair that is just 70's FABULOUS. It was already in my office when I started working at my current job and it's a vital piece of my work success. Everybody likes to sit in the lap of the Big Green Naugie. Who wouldn't right? Especially on a hot, sweaty summer day!

Have a great weekend and if you find a VINTAGE Nauga, let me know. (The new ones aren't very authentic...)

Typewriters I would love to use...

2009-06-17T12:52:00.005-05:00

I collect antique typewriters (anything pre WWII). I even blogged about my love for them.

But I saw this on Mental Floss today and I am now positively green with envy. I would love to see these typewriters used by famous writers.

I long to keystroke their Royals, Remingtons and Olympias...

I have the Remington model that George Orwell and Agatha Christie used...Beautiful light-weight and fabulous!

Emotional, Heartbreaking...I miss you...

2009-06-15T23:58:00.007-05:00

Last Saturday, Darling, Handsome and I made our way to St. Louis to walk in the Komen Race for the Cure...I dedicate this to Aunt Angel....

I'm inspired to walk in KC's Komen Walk in August, but since Angel lived in St. Louis and it was her wish...we walked there first.

I got VERY emotional as we got to the finish line. I wasn't expecting that, but, well...it happened. A year and a half really isn't that long when you've lost someone you loved....

Before the Walk....

64,000 people who have been affected by breast cancer is pretty amazing...

We got very emotional towards the finish line. Remembering...Aunt Angel did the the STL Komen Walk every year....Her last was in a wheelchair...

PLEASE, God, let us discover a cure...

Pettiness, Party of One

2009-06-12T11:50:00.004-05:00

I want to warn you, Constant Reader, that I fully acknowledge this is a completely petty, and somewhat bitchy post. Read at your own discretion...

Handsome and I have a friend couple that we see on occasion. Mostly at shows and parties and the like, but we have gone out on a few joint couple excursions (usually when I have extra tickets to stuff.) We're not BFF's, more like Party Pals (when we see you, it's cool, if not, meh, not important.) but still, you know, friendly-ish. We both have only one daughter (theirs is a year or so younger than Darling.)

About a month ago, I let Handsome's siblings use our lawn for a garage sale. I decided it was probably time to let go of some of her baby clothes and other assorted unneeded baby paraphernalia. It was also kind of a test for me of whether or not I was ready to have another baby or if we're done. This has been a huge issue for us in the last 6 months or so and I still don't know which way we're going to go.

Needless to say, sorting through baby stuff/sweet memories, made me all weepy and nostalgic (but still undecided). I posted "Moxie is sorting through Darling's baby clothes for tomorrow's garage sale and bawling like a baby" as my Facebook status. Needless to say, that was stupid and I got comment pounced by 6 different people wondering if I was done having kids.

Wife of Friend Couple (WoFC) actually sent me a message wondering if we were done and said that they were struggling with the decision as well. She asked for my insight on why I made whatever choice I had in regards to the future of our family.

I promptly sent her back a big long reply of "We're not sure yet" and spelled out all the issues we were struggling with in the decision. At the end I wished her the best of luck and asked her what she thought and did my response help?

I waited for her reply.

And waited.

Earlier this week I was cleaning up some stuff I could delete in my Facebook inbox and found the message. I thought it was weird she never replied to me and wondered if she even got it. Facebook has been kind of messed up lately and apparently I haven't received at least 2 messages (that I know of) that people have sent me. I worried she thought I was rude and didn't answer her, so a few days ago I sent her a message and asked if she had gotten my first one. (I know that was silly, but that's just how I am)

I still haven't gotten a response and, ya know, I'm getting rather irritated.

We opened an emotional Mama door by her asking such a personal question, which I answered fully and truthfully. You shouldn't just ignore someone's emotional gut spilling.

You shouldn't ask a question without acknowledging the answer.

There was nothing in the email that could be considered offensive to her, and it's just common courtesy to answer back or at least say "Thanks for sharing your thoughts and insight".

I'm being completely irrational and petty, but good manners never go out of style.

I feel like she's purposely ignoring my second email and that just irritates me further. What's worse is she's the type that would get REALLY pissed off if I had done the same to her and she would make a bigger issue out of it. Beyond this little rant, I'll be fine.

Why am I even sharing this petty, irksome, stupid little irritation with you?

I have no idea.

But it feels lovely to rant...

;)

Ice Cream that doesn't melt? I'm suspicious.

2009-06-10T15:31:00.006-05:00

I am a huge fan of Cold Stone Creamery (but I'll take some good ol' Foo's Fabulous Frozen Custard any ol' day)but I'm a bit leery of their latest product coming out next month.

Ice cream that doesn't melt at room temperature....kind of reminds me of that crappy styrofoam "Astronaut" ice cream you can buy in museum gift shops...

Combining the awesomeness of Cold Stone and the awesomeness of Jell-O Pudding (Is there anything Bill Cosby CAN'T do?!) seems pretty good, but really?

The new product, which is co-branded with the Kraft Jell-O brand name, is a product that is ice cream at cold temperatures, but Jell-O pudding-like at room temperature.

The chain is introducing four flavors that the company says have a texture like mousse. They will be offered at all locations nationwide in July: all stores will offer butterscotch and chocolate versions, while vanilla and banana pudding flavors will be optional.

I'm intrigued...

Even more intriguing are these recipes from Cold Stone for delicious summer treats such as Puddin' Pops, Puddin' Cookie Sandwiches and Butterscotch Trifle in a Cup.

Only problem if you don't live near a Cold Stone? They of course require the ice cream to make them....

This might need an independednt Moxie field test and product review when it comes out. (Or maybe I just want some ice cream...)

RetroGag: The Diet Edition

2009-06-05T15:09:00.011-05:00

Everyone's on a diet, right? Diet food sucks, for the most part, right? You accept this if you have to shave a few jiggly rolls of fat.

I maintain that your food shouldn't scare you.

I found these fascinating Weight Watcher's Recipe cards from 1974. They had it hard in the old days...Click through and see the complete collection...

Fluffy Mackerel Puddding

Uh huh. You heard me right. FLUFFY mackerel...mmmmm

Orange Salad

I'd like to think of something wittier than "What the hell's in that bowl-- bong water?!" but it seems to appropriate.

Liver Masque

I don't know what the hell "masque" means in culinary terms, but jello shouldn't be gray and resemble brains.

Spaghetti Jello

"Alright, kids, Mommy hasn't gone shopping yet, let's see what we've got for dinner...We've got clear gellatin, hard boiled eggs, tomato soup and some vinegar...Let's make a super delicious mold!"
(I'm barfing right now, but thanks, RetroFood.com for this one...)

Happy weekend! Remember, don't try these at home!

Making the Grown Up Choice for the Weekend

2009-06-05T09:36:00.002-05:00

Since I work every other weekend, my precious free time is well, extra-precious...

What I would like to do this weekend (in no particular order):

~ Hang out with some of my friends and FINALLY go see The Elders play live

~ Hang out with some of my gay friends and support them in their Gay Pride Festivities

~ Hang out with my Handsome and Darling and set up the 4ft x 10ft pool in the backyard. Bask in the freezing water and splash. Convince Darling it's ok to put her face in the water.

~ Splay out on the couch with some Waldo Pizza, a few beers, my Hubby, Daughter and cats. Watch a commercially-interrupted, edited-for-tv movie.

~ Hang out with my BFF for a Girls Night Sleepover. We do this from time to time and other than a funeral, I haven't gotten to hang out with her in 2 months. Eat, drink, stay up late talking . . . sleep late.

What I shall be doing:
~ Hanging out with my BFF, helping her prepare for her garage sale tomorrow morning until the wee hours of the morning, and then get up before 7 to help her be ready for the hordes that descend upon the Lakewood Garage Sale every year.

Sigh...

At least I get to hang out with BFF. I adore her beyond belief and am excited to get to spend some time with just her, but still...this is supposed to be my work-free weekend.

I'm such a damn whiner. I know this. I'll go and have a great time. I'm just work-zapped right now...

Things I promised myself I wouldn't blog about

2009-06-03T13:24:00.005-05:00

I've been seriously neglectful of my hordes (2 or 3 of you) of adoring fans for the last couple of weeks. I'm not even sure why I haven't posted more, but I realized today that I needed to stop neglecting you.

I received a Facebook comment on my status (which was something about wanting to run away and join the circus) from one of my friends/acquaintances:

"I think you should be a writer. Your posts are hilarious. And I think they need better writers in the circus."

And the whole reason for having this super secret Moxie identity and super rocking blog is to vent my feelings without censorship/hurt feelings of those I love and respect.

But, you know, sometimes, Constant Reader, I just don't feel like talking about things that really bother me. But, as someone (and I can't think of who right now) said, "When the itch to write overcomes you nothing can cure it like the scratching of a pen" (or something similar to that).

So, here I am scratching. I have a big mouth/active mind/semi-fast typing fingers, so until it's out, it's still itchy. No more censoring myself about it.

Things that I'm not going to blog about:

1. How nervous I am about Darling starting her Kindergarten camp on the 15th. She's younger than all of the other kids in her class and even though she's razor sharp and she'll be fine, I still worry.

2. How much I wanted to cry the other night when Darling was saying her prayers at bedtime and stopped in the middle of asking God for a baby brother and looked over at me since I told her to stop asking me for one. (I don't know for sure if I can/want another.) I felt like a total piece of selfish shit.

3. How much I'd like, just for once, to receive a decent, meaningful compliment from my boss. As the chief marketing strategist and creative designer, it would be nice to know he acknowledges the fact that I'm trying so hard (and I think succeeding!) to do my part to keep the company afloat in this crazy economy. Something more than a mumble in recognition would be nice. I don't need it all the time, just occasionally. I'll even stop being hurt you ignored my birthday for the last 2 years.

4. How incredibly guilty I feel for needing just a little praise. I'm so thankful to have a job right now it isn't even funny. I really should not be complaining. I really do love my job.

5. How I'd like to have just a little time off to myself, sans-Handsome, sans-Darling, sans-anyotherpersonsproblems. A nice sunny room with a comfortable reading spot. Just for a day.

6. How angry I am at all the people in the world who are saying that because I'm pro-life (with addendums), I'm a horrible person and a right wing nut job. I'd really like to write a post about:
A. How Dr. Tiller was a human being. A father, husband, brother, son, friend to someone. Regardless of how much I disagree with the idea of some late term abortions, I'm still sad that a human being lost his life for absolutely no reason and that his family and friends have lost him.
B. How I am pro-life. Everyone is pro-life unless you're on a homicidal rampage. No one, especially Americans, want to be labeled anti-choice. Just like there are many stages of life, there are many facets to choice. I am very much FOR making good, well thought out choices. I'm irritated to be labeled as anti-choice.
C. The guy who killed Dr. Tiller was a crazy lunatic. To say he represents the pro-life movement in any way is like saying David Koresh is representative of all Christianity, Osama bin Laden is representative of all Muslims or that James Earl Ray was representative of all white people. Stupid.
D. I don't understand protesting outside abortion clinics. They are performing legal services inside the clinic. No American citizen should feel intimidated to go to work/or have a legal health procedure performed. If you don't like the fact abortions occur, take your show on the road to your state capital/Washington and protest somewhere where it might make a difference. Work for legislative change, instead of expressing meaningless symbolic anger. At the same time, you need to be realistic enough to accept that abortion will never be outlawed again.

7. How absolutely asinine I think it is that The Kansas City Star won't print the marriage/civil union announcements of gay couples in their Weddings section. Ridiculous. Wake up and join the 21st century. Just as I accept that Roe vs. Wade will never be overturned, anti-gay marriage people need to just accept that gay people can make life long commitments to one another and should have the legal rights that all other American couples have.

I think for now that's all the "I'm not going to blog about this" stuff I have for now.....

Georgia's Stonehenge ~ Weird

2009-05-21T10:49:00.005-05:00

Did you know this existed? I didn't but, wow! This is bizzare and really fascinating, and you know I love me some crazy crackpipe theories. While this isn't a straight out theory, I bet the unknown people who designed have some. So, crazy by default.

Read this wired.com article and find out the story behind the ultimate DIY project for a post-Apocalypse era.

Secret Marriage Contract? WTF?!

2009-05-15T11:50:00.011-05:00

I've never watched John and Kate Plus Eight. I was the oldest of 5 kids and the thought of just 3 more kids didn't seem that interesting to me. Plus, I have a low tolerance for reality shows (Except American Idol and The Real Housewives...)*

Nevertheless, you'd have to be living under a rock or just be really, REALLY good at ignoring mainstream media to not know that the Gosselins marriage is rather rocky.

He's a cheater, (ugh! Who would seriously sleep with him other than Kate? Unless it needs recalibrating, he's about a 2 on the Hot Hubby I'd Like to Steal Since I'm a Skank Scale!)

She's a cheater. (The bodyguard? Really? How original, Kate.)

Today, though this just made me sad.

If it was my brother spilling the beans about my personal family life, I'd never talk to him again. But then again, neither of them really seem committed to strengthening family relationships at this point, so maybe it makes no difference.

I feel so bad for those kids. Your dad's a whore, your mom's a crazy shrew and no one around them is thinking of what's best for you.

If it's true they have a "secret contract" to make everything look nicey-nice on tv, how long will it be until those kids figure it out? Kids are smarter than adults give them credit for and I'm guessing it wouldn't take much.

I can't imagine the show going on for much longer anyway because now that everyone knows (since all of this is rumored to be true) who's going to want to watch the sham? Is reality tv and the delusions of grandeur and fame to blame for this marriage going bad?

What a joke and how sad for the kids. It's their lives too...who wants to see the worst your parents can be on tv?

I'm feeling over judgemental today, but so what? I hate seeing children suffer for parental stupidity. Any decision I make puts my daughter first. No matter what happened, I'd like to think I'd at least try really hard to work through any trouble I had in my marriage before getting divorced if for no other reason than my child. Maybe that's just really old fashioned.

At the same time, I know I have my breaking point of when I'd walk away (Please God, don't ever test that limit!) but if I had millions of dollars on the line as an incentive, I'd probably control my passions and not cheat on my spouse, putting that money and my family's happiness in jeopardy.

kicking my soap box disgustedly and stomping away...

*Hush your mouth! I can enjoy the occasional tv junk food binge, too, right? It's low calorie!

RetroGag: The Salmon Volcano of Doom

2009-05-13T12:34:00.005-05:00

Retrosnark is one of my favorite blogs for old cookbooks/ads/whatnot from bygone eras. He shares my distaste for Jello molds and he also found this delightful gem:
This is truly has no words for it. To me it looks like cat food gussied up with some baby poop icing. I'm not even going to try and figure out what the chunky bits are that are in the "salmon".

They claim it's salmon covered in guacamole. I personally don't believe it, but you can judge for yourself.

Could you possibly imagine going to a pot luck, party or family gathering and just dying to try some of that?

Who doesn't love subliminal advertising?

2009-05-12T11:46:00.002-05:00

I absolutely love ad design blogs and this is a fabulous post from graphicdesignblog.org.

Logos can be one of the most difficult things to design, and this is a fascinating look at some of the best "hidden graphics" in logos...

Vote for Me!

2009-05-12T09:24:00.006-05:00

So, I was over at Marketing Mama's blog and noticed she was nominated for best Local Blog (in St. Paul/Minneapolis) on Nickelodeon's Parents Connect website.

Being the curious Mama I am, I found that I, too was nominated for Best Local (Kansas City) Blog.

I have some stiff competition, but I'd love to win just to inflate my fragile ego. I know I shun the "Mommyblogger" title, but...I can't help it, I'm competitive! I'm also shameless with the personal plugs (it's called marketing/self-promotion...but my Catholic guilt always rears it's ugly head and I feel bad for asking.)

Even if you aren't a parent, please go vote for me anyway. You'd make me very happy! Plus, vote on other stuff in the KC Category. Everything from Best Toy Store to Preschool to Parent's Date Night.

Nothing says Happy Mother's Day like....

2009-05-11T12:50:00.002-05:00

Poison Ivy!!! Yikes! Darling has it all over her legs. Any age-old wisdom/cures to get rid of this fast?!!

Moxie's Secret Hideout

2009-05-06T11:44:00.010-05:00

When I got to my desk this morning at work I was blown away by two things:

1. Holy shit! It's May 6th! How the hell did that happen?
2. I've been MIA on a lot things in life. Where have I been? I feel like I somehow lost a week and a half of time...

I know these seem like weird revelations, especially given the fact that deadlines are a big part of my job and I'm constantly looking at the calendars in my office/cellphone/home office.

So, what the hell have I been up to?

Last weekend was a Do Nothing Weekend. Since I work 2 weekends a month at the museum, I glory in doing nothing when I can. I have exactly 2 days this month that require me to do nothing more strenuous than eat, sleep and play with my kid. I enjoyed it.
Last Saturday, I did make Dana's Root Beer Cookies, which were all sorts of awesome, and coincidentally, Handsome's favorite soda beverage. If you are unaware, I'm sort of fascinated by weird recipes.

Last Sunday I made one of the biggest, dumbest mistakes in recent memory. Darling had a Princess Birthday Party at Chuck E. Cheese. I had a headache and had forgotten to restock my purse with more Excedrin Migraine. I'm pretty sure there needs to be a sign outside of Chuck's saying: "If you are an epileptic, afraid of germs, have a headache or are easily frightened, turn back now!" Seriously. What made it even worse was the fact that the "Ladies" restroom rivaled The Dirtiest Toilet In Scotland (Trainspotting ref, btw). I'm not a germ-aphobe, but I almost puked. But at least Darling had a great time.

I've also realized that I haven't seen a play/musical/improv show in over 2 months. (Kris Kristofferson concert doesn't count.) This is a personal record for me. I have never gone this long without live theatre since roughly 2001. I'm completely serious. Not even when I was pregnant or right after I had Darling. In the 12.5 years we've been together, I've seen at least one performance of Handsome's shows except the one I was planning on seeing the day I gave birth. When he isn't in shows, we go see other people's shows. Handsome opens in a new show next week and it will be the first I've seen since late February. We've just both been so busy with work and Darling that we haven't seen anything else since his last show.

While this probably means nothing to you, it's huge for me. It means I'm hermitting in real life AND on my blog. Not good for me. I'm a social being and other than the Adult Easter Egg Hunt, a few intimate gatherings with friends, and 2 Royals games, I've been MIA on the social scene. Handsome has these tendancies, I don't usually. I need to be out and about amongst the people. I like to go to parties and socialize. But I've had no desire to do so outside my very intimate group of closest friends.

I haven't quite figured out why I am so busy and yet some things, like theatre shows are being put to the side. It's not a bad thing to be somewhat anti-social for a while, it's just really unusual and I guess it bothers me that I didn't even notice. I glibly sent Handsome off to see shows and go to parties while I either stayed home or did something else. Theatre shows have always been a bonding time for us as well as a stress-reducer we could share.

I've been totally wrapped up in Darling lately, getting her ready to go to Big Girl School's Kindergarten Summer Camp (mid-June). Her birthday is mid-August and she'll be the youngest in her class (barely making the 5th birthday cut-off) but I know that she's ready to go this year.

I won't even start in on the debate about red-shirting a Kindergartener until they are almost 6. That whole thing bugs me. My brother and sister both have August birthdays and they both started at just barely 5. My brother is a successful HR Manager and my sister is an oncology nurse with a BSN. Plus, Darling's parents have 2 college degrees each.

The kid is as smart as a whip and making her wait will only make her bored. Nonetheless, at her Kindergarten evaluation, the evaluator told us that she's perfectly ready for "normal" kindergarten but because she is going to an "academically challenging charter school" Kindergarten, her age "might be an issue".

Bite me, lady.

I'm 90% sure Darling will be able to hold her own with all of the almost 6 yr olds she might encounter. She's a very social little gal and loves to be challenged. She's tall for her age and the only thing I worry about a little bit is her language skills as she was a late talker. She'll be fine, but that lady has got me freaked out now. Darling and I have been doing Kindergarten worksheets every night since then.

We really debated sending her this year or waiting another year. We consulted her pre-school teachers who said she was more than ready. We talked to both her aunts that are teachers and her uncle that is a grade school principal. They think she's ready.

So, why am I freaking?

Because that's what I do. I'm good at it.

See what I mean?! I just told you I wouldn't discuss the Kindergarten thing and look what I just did! Another reason I need to go out and have more fun is so I can stop fretting over stuff. I need more relaxing. Less stressing.

This week I'm back on a work jag. I've got my regular job and my museum job this weekend. Plus, there's a group of paranormal investigators coming in Sat. night, so I'll be ghost hunting until late. Handsome has his tech weekend this Sat/Sun for his show so that means Mother's Day will be celebrated the following weekend.

Plus, I have to figure out when in the next 3 weekends I'm going to see Handsome's show, which should be a step in the right social/stress reducing direction.

I promise not to ignore my blog for a week at a time. Sorry 'bout that.

The Return of the Hot Dog Spaghetti Monster

2009-04-28T11:14:00.003-05:00

So, seriously... remember this post from Retro Gag? These things are everywhere now. It's hip and trendy food choices for the toddler set.

It still gives me nightmares...but here's the before and after preparation photos

Total Hypothetical here....

2009-04-27T15:45:00.004-05:00

I'm a huge fan of the show Dollhouse. On this week's episode, a woman (who ends up being murdered) had her memories imprinted in Echo (it was in her will) so she could go back and see her funeral, find out what people really thought of her, and try to solve her murder.

Murder aside, if you could go back and observe your loved ones post your mortem, would you? Would you really want to know what people thought of you? Could you handle watching their grief?

I'm not sure what I would do...

PS...If you're not watching Dollhouse, you should. It took me a while to figure out if it was going to be really great, and as the story line (which starts a bit slow, admittedly) progresses, I LOVE it..

The Best Birthday Present I've Ever Received...

2009-04-25T21:02:00.008-05:00

I'm sure it should be something more lofty like life or some shit like that, but Handsome got me tickets to Kris Kristofferson who was at the Uptown Theatre last weekend.

Holy shit, friends...A dream come true.

i have a LOOOOONG love affair with Singer/Songwriters and Kris Kristofferson is on my absolute A List....

Harry Chapin, John Denver and John Lennon are dead. It's doubtful I'll ever see Pulp or Simon and Garfunkel in concert so this was my dream come true.

See this pic? Yeah, so...on the most important dream-come-true concert I've ever been to, my fucking camera batteries die...that glowing something-ish thing is Kris Kristofferson.

Let me tell you...

GREATEST CONCERT I'VE EVER BEEN TO...

I don't care if he's 30 years older than me and that I'm happily married...HE'S SMOKIN' HOTTT! He sounds like he did 30 yrs ago...He's poetry out loud...He was horribly sick that night and was blowing his nose in between songs, but he was just fabulous...

I went to the concert with a friend of mine who shares my birthday and is a Kris fan (Handsome was in rehearsal that night, damn it!) One of the first songs in his set was "Me and My Bobby McGee" (yeah, he wrote that, thanks, Janice) and I turn to her and say, "Holy shit. He's singing THAT song!" I was like a crazed teenager at a Jonas Brothers concert. I'm sure she was embarrassed, but it was a curiously stoned crowd. You could tell who were the Highwaymen fans from the true blue Kris Kristofferson fans.

There are SO many songs I wanted him to sing, which he sang quite a few but one hit me REALLY hard..."In The News" was one he wrote about the Laci Peterson/9-11 time and when I first heard it, I was pregnant with Darling. I was SO affected by that song and the idea of someone killing his pregnant wife and throwing her in the ocean. I thought about my own life and how Handsome would hardly let me do anything during my pregnancy (to the point that it got annoying) and just realized how blessed I was. And this was also the time that Precious Doe's identity was discovered. I remember watching it on the news and holding my newborn tightly and crying because I couldn't imagine a mother doing that to her child. Or being ok with someone else doing that to her child. Watch this and tell me you don't cry...I dare you...
On a more historical note, check out Kris' "Jesus Was a Capricorn". I love this song SO MUCH!!!

Jesus was a Capricorn, he ate organic foods.
He believed in love and peace and never wore no shoes.
Long hair, beard and sandals and a funky bunch of friends.
Reckon they'd just nail him up if He come down again.

'Cos everybody's got to have somebody to look down on.
Who they can feel better than at anytime they please.
Someone doin' somethin' dirty, decent folks can frown on.
If you can't find nobody else, then help yourself to me.

Get back, John!

Egg Head's cousin Red Neck's cussin' hippies for their hair.
Others laugh at straights who laugh at freaks who laugh at squares.
Some folks hate the whites who hate the blacks who hate the clan.
Most of us hate anything that we don't understand.

'Cos everybody's got to have somebody to look down on.
Who they can feel better than at anytime they please.
Someone doin' somethin' dirty, decent folks can frown on.
If you can't find nobody else, then help yourself to me.

Help yourself, brother.
Help yourself, Gentlemen.
Help yourself Reverend.

There was a scandal in Rolling Stone about Toby Keith and Kris Kristofferson last month and while both parties deny Ethan Hawke's claims of the exchange, loving both artists, I can SO see this happening...

As the daughter of a Vietnam vet, I respect how Kris served his country and then still hates what he had to do. My dad was a Corpsman (Navy equivalent of a medic)and he was the guy on the helicopter deciding who wasn't so far gone that they could be saved and whether the helicopter would lift off the ground...

Anyway...my concert review is 2 enthusiastic thumbs up. Kris is still kickin' ass and taking names...

I Need a Horsehead Pillow...

2009-04-25T20:29:00.006-05:00

I'm a HUGE fan of The Godfather. HUGE, I tell you...check out Oddee's list of 15 Coolest Pillows and put the horsehead one down on your Moxie Christmas List...

*No animals were harmed in the posting of this post. Moxie does not condone animal cruelty nor does she approve of most Mafia tactics of intimidation. Some are ok though.

Lolcats burnout

2009-04-25T20:21:00.008-05:00

Burnt out on cat pictures? Me too, kind of, but it's like a train wreck and I still have to look. I recently discovered Picture is Unrelated: WTF Pictures and if you haven't seen them, well, you're missing out.

I'm truly scared for the human race...

Here's a few:

I'm sure there is perfectly good explanations for these bizzare photos, but, well, everyone loves things taken out of context.

For truly beautiful pictures done by a kick ass Kansas Citian, see Hyperblogal...I adore his work and you should too!

RetroGag: Scary Stuffed Peppers and Bad Choices with Spaghetti

2009-04-24T13:44:00.014-05:00

It's been awhile since I've done a Retro Gag and I think we're overdue...

This week's gems come from the fascinating Mock Duck site. It is a retro-fabulous trip down technicolor gag lane. Check it out. Brave, brave work with the cookbooks of yesteryear...

First on the menu today is this:

I don't know what that little girl is so damn excited about. It seems like an innocent enough picture if you can get past Suzy's Joy of Cooking euphoria. Nutrious (but canned) veggies, pudding with ill placed cherries, I'm even moderately ok with the spaghetti, but I'd like someone to please explain WTF are those hockey puck looking things gracefully lining the spaghetti dish. Those aren't meatballs, kids, and I'm afraid to ask.

MYSTERY LOAF
Tell me this doesn't look like a ham loaf at first glance. It looks like ham, pimentos and cherries to me. That makes me ill to my stomach. Apparently, it's less nefarious, but oddly fruitcake.
Here's the recipe:

"Frozen Fruit Salad -- luscious! Fruit cocktail, cherries, and marshmallows polka-dot this rich delicious salad-dessert. For pretty slices, freeze in round freezer cartons."

Well, it's not as bad as I thought, but still...

Double Gag Whammy
First direct your eyes to the top right corner of this picture (I know, it hurts, doesn't it). I'm a huge fan of Stuffed Peppers. I make kick ass peppers. Probably not as good as Meesha's, but my Sloppy Joe Peppers are rather delish. I am not a tremendous fan of baked beans, but that has to be the most disgusting/lazy/bland display of pepper stuffing I've ever seen.

Ok, let's talk about that pizza. I'm pretty sure that the old adage: "Pizza is like sex, even when it's bad, it's worth the effort" is blown to smithereens with this one. If Handsome tried to pull off "Pizza topped with canned spaghetti and a lattice of anchovy fillets and processed cheese" he'd be sleeping on the couch. That isn't pizza, that's the overspilled bowels of a night of bad culinary decisions. The green olives are that final touch. They accent the dead fish so well.

Last but not least, I saw this over on Strollerderby this week and while it's not a true retro-gag, the ghosts of 1950's moms everywhere will be nodding their heads and clapping in delight...

Spaghetti Dogs

Truly, words fail me. If I served this to my Darling, she'd be sleeping in our bed for a week after the Octopus Hot Dog Monster dreams she's sure to have. I wouldn't blame her. Hell, I might have nightmares about this anyway...

Happy Friday, have a great weekend!

Well, it does rhyme with Maria

2009-04-24T09:39:00.003-05:00

Darling's really into rhyming right now. Cat, mat, pat, rat...etc.

So, we're cruising down the road the other day and I'm discussing my friend, Maria, with Handsome.

We assume Darling is asleep in the backseat, but out of the blue, really loudly, she shouts, "Maria rhymes with diarreha!"

Well, yes. Yes it does.

I proceeded to let her know that the Maria diarreha song she began to sing was just as inappropriate in social settings as the "I see London, I see France..." song was last week.

Sigh.

It's the pits, really...

2009-04-22T13:10:00.003-05:00

How freakin' cool is this? I'm a huge fan of Cool Things in Random Places, but this takes me back to my childhood desire to dig a hole to China. I did my best, but my mom cut me off when I'd only gotten 2 feet deep into the ground. Good thing Hell wasn't in my backyard, I guess.

To Me...On the Anniversary of My Solar Return

2009-04-21T12:32:00.004-05:00

Solar Return is just a fancy, New Agey way of saying birthday. It somehow sounds more dramatic, doesn't it? And I married an actor, so obviously I'm inclined towards the dramatic.

So, I'm 32. A smidge older than yesterday, definitely no wiser.

Mostly I'm just tired and ready for the weekend.

But I get retrospective on the day the sun returns to the position it was in on the day of my birth. It's the historian in me, I guess.

I'll admit the last few years have really been tough on me. Some of the toughest in my life and I'm not sure I'm a better person for having endured them. I've let my vices and inner demons get the best of me and had too much inertia about the things I know I need to change. But time marches on and so do I.

I promise myself to do more of the things I love: write, read, yoga, find my spiritual center, be an even better wife/mother/friend...

Time to change, but only for the better and place the past in the past where it belongs.

This year I give myself the present of the future and the vision to see it.

So here's to 32...to a better year.

What kind of commenter are you?

2009-04-16T15:48:00.004-05:00

I saw this over on mental floss and it's just a really interesting article. I'm not sure what kind of commenter I am, I just know I usually like to leave and receive 'em. (As long as they are mostly nice/at least has a valid point if I'm wrong)... I've been extremely busy lately and I haven't left as many comments/blogged as many entries as I'd like. Hopefully things will simmer down soon...

Anyway...

Check it out!

Adult Easter Egg Hunt Suggestions?

2009-04-10T11:41:00.003-05:00

Against my better judgement (don't I have ENOUGH to do?!), I've agreed to host an adult themed Easter Egg Hunt tomorrow night. My sister in law talked me into being the host for an event that I've never even been to, so I'm not sure of the standards.

Apparently I'm in charge of hiding Easter Eggs in my back yard filled with things like condoms and slips of paper that say "Good for one Jello Shot" and "Good for One Pair of Edible Panties".

Any fun ideas? Usually I'm creative with this kind of stuff, but I'm drawing a blank. Nothing too gross, but I want to make it fun....

Let's Go Royals!!!

2009-04-10T11:08:00.003-05:00

I don't care how bad they suck, Opening Day for the Royals is a High Holy Day of Awesomeness in my world. I love, love, love me some MLB!!!

I'm going to be soggy today, but I'll be at the K, drinking overpriced beer and scarfing some nachos. (If you're that really, really drunk girl who peed her pants in the Ladies restroom line last year, please don't stand next to me this time, m'kay? Thanks.)

I will maintain perfect somberness as I stare at the forbidden hot dogs and remember that Christ died for my sins.

But I'll be cheering for the Boys in Blue! Let's Go Royals!!!

This is my favorite time of the season...the brief few weeks I can kid myself that there's hope for the Royals being a contender for the pennant race. I embrace my self-delusion like a well loved security blanket.

Peep Show!

2009-04-07T11:22:00.003-05:00

I've been a very bad, bad blogger lately and that's mostly because I've got some potentially bad, bad shit going on in real life. It sucks, I don't want to really go into it here, but needless to say, if you can think happy, fluffy, wonderful thoughts for me for a little while, Moxie would much appreciate it. All hope isn't lost just yet, but I'm not sure...

Anyway, Mental Floss' Peeps on Parade cheered me up. Check it out...I hate the taste of them, but they are a sure sign of Spring and that's a good thing, right?

Here's one of my favs, The Wreck of the Edmund Peepsgerald . . .

A Lesson In Gratitude...

2009-04-02T08:10:00.004-05:00

Darling spent last weekend with my mom and dad. We aren't going to see my family on Easter so, naturally, the Easter Bunny came a little early and visited at Grandma's.

When my mom and dad brought her back on Sunday evening, I told Darling to thank Grandma and Grandpa for all the cool stuff (a Peeps necklace, an Easter dress, and LOTS of candy) they gave her.

Darling, with all the self-righteousness and justice a 4.5 yr old can muster, refused.

"Grandma didn't get these for me, the Easter Bunny did."

I told her to thank Grandma anyway.

She refused.

Sigh.

I guess she has a point...

Why give Grandma any credit when a mythical fertility creature deserves the props?

Good imagination, spoiled brat or future judge, I haven't decided...

I want THAT: Crunch: The Game

2009-03-27T09:12:00.013-05:00

My family LOVES board games. We could spend hours playing Risk, Monopoly, Scrabble...we love them all.

I just found one over at Collateral Damage that MUST soon be in our collection.

Crunch

From the makers of War on Terror: The Board Game, Crunch is all about the economic collapse going on right now.

Here's the gist of the game:
Crunch is a card game for 2 to 4 players that allows you to experience the upside of down. Placed in the role of a global banking CEO, you have to juggle the conflicting demands of your ailing bank and your flourishing bank account.

Along the way, the game also replicates our modern banking system and foreshadows the inevitable collapse of capitalism, but that's just a bonus.
This game looks like a heck of a lot of fun. With cards like "Bankrupt Country," "Rebrand" and "Too Big to Fail" at least it brings a little humor to the doom and gloom of the current state of affairs. It can't be any more depressing than The Game of Life.

Here's some other gems out of the Crunch deck:

Let me know if you decide to buy it and what you think!

Irksome....veeeery irksome

2009-03-26T14:34:00.003-05:00

I'm a bit peevish today.

I'm also apparently on a Top 10 jag...

10 Irritating Things in Moxieland:

1. My brother in law *forgot* to tell my hubby and I that their mother is coming up and staying overnight with us...TODAY!!! Suprise!

2. My mother in law is spending the night tonight.

3. I let Darling get *one* box of Cookie Crisp (after swearing my children would never eat Sugar Coated Gritties) and now she wants to eat nothing else.

4. People who think they are *sooooooo* open minded and liberal. (They are unless you disagree with them.)

5. People who invite me to join Facebook groups that I have no interest in. Maybe I don't agree with your politics/religion/world view/choice of pets or movies. Quit throwing #$@$%#ing sheep at me and asking me to be a vampire.

6. Undermining co-workers.

7. The fact that Handsome is looking more and more like The Dude from "The Big Lebowski". I understand he's growing his hair long enough to cut for Locks of Love (in memory of his aunt that died of cancer last year), but when I'm trying to make out with him and HIS hair gets in my mouth, it's just really irritating. Plus he looks like The Dude...sort of.

8. Weather forecasters. Snow at the end of March? $#@$ you, Katie Horner! I know you're using either voodoo or some other witchcraft to get higher weather ratings. Isn't rain/tornado/microburst season enough for you?

9. The lady who literally cut in front of me at OfficeMax today, plopped 20 items and a stack of coupons down and said, "Ok, I want to get the absolute BEST deal on this stuff." and gave ME a dirty look for daring to stand behind her in line with my 2 items.

10. Any company laying anyone off any of my friends. You suck.

Why I Hope Newspapers Never Die

2009-03-24T12:00:00.016-05:00

I did something shameful yesterday.

I participated in a Death Pool, not for a celebrity, but for an icon nonetheless.

I made a bet on when the official death knell for The Kansas City Star will be.

My boss says by the end of the year.

My co-worker says by June of next year.

I say they'll go down to a 4 day a week format by the end of next year.

Unlike many celebrating the death of the "archaic media", I really hope it's never. Last week alone, 3 of my friends lost jobs in the media industry. You're sick if you find schadenfreude in other people being laid off. Shame on you. Those are jobs and people with families that the blogosphere and it's pay per click/impression ads will never support. (And those of you who force me to click thru my Google Reader to finish reading your content piss me off too!)

That being said, people are being laid off across almost every industry. Why is the loss of a daily newspaper such a big deal?

There are several reasons, most of them are personal for me as someone who pondered the idea of becoming a journalist many years ago. That's why I have a blog today. By no means is it a news source, but like most blogs it chronicles my own personal life (or what I care to share) and comments on the world around me. Does my blog have a place in the universe? I'm narcissistic enough to think so. Is it news? Not by a long shot. But it is my little opinionated nook of the world and you've bothered to be here, so here's my small minority opinion of why I hope to be reading a printed newspaper when I'm old and using a magnifying glass to read the words...1. I'll admit to a fascination with the arcane as someone who spent four years and a whole lotta money on a degree in history. And what better chronicler of American life is there than the daily headlines? These are literally snapshots into a moment in time...

I've spent hours and hours reeling through microfiche looking for historical data in newspapers and often I'd get caught up in the side stories and the ads from days gone by. In the future, how are researchers going to look for content? Web hosts post and unpost content at will. Bloggers start and stop their blogs every day. If you went to look up an Internet source from 10 years ago, I bet you'd only have a 15% chance of finding it.

2. I admit I have a vested interest in seeing a medium do well as someone who earns a living in Marketing. Ever since I graduated college 9 years ago, everyone said, "Oh, don't advertise in the paper, it's a dying media. No one reads the paper these days!"

I beg to differ. The Kansas City Star is one of my best sources for direct response, believe it or not. It's all in how an advertiser uses it. Those who still read the paper are typically intelligent, well-educated, active readers who are mature enough in their careers to have the disposable income required to purchase the particular products and services I advertise. I almost always receive a return on my investment with ads there. As part of a healthy media mix, the newspaper is still viable for me.

It's easy to ignore the right rail and banner ads of a web page filled with pop up ads. Advertising was never more annoying than when it hit the Internet. Those who abuse the power of online advertising give the rest of the decent web pages a bad name. Ads in a newspaper never play music or give you a filthy virus.

3. I think it's sad as the end is seeming to come to an end for several major metropolitan papers, most recently, The Seattle Post-Intelligencer (first published in 1863) and The Rocky Mountain News (since 1859). In a day and age that not even our baseball teams are all owned by American companies, it's nice to know at least the vehicle of our opinions and news are still American owned. These are companies that have been publishing on a daily basis for over a hundred years. While they may not go under all the way, a switch to completely online is a sad change.

4. Curling up with a laptop on a Sunday morning is just not the same as the happy, messy spread of me, hubby, daughter, cats and breakfast on the couch, reading the paper...I did this with my own family when I was younger and I know my family now enjoys it as well.

5. You don't need WiFi, a power cord or a battery to read a newspaper. You just need a source of light. Newspapers are the quintessential portable media source.

6. Just like talk radio is an important part of a citizen's forum in a community, the newspaper is as well. Yes, you can start a blog, yes a few people might read it, comment on your opinions, but nothing has a farther reaching impact than a major newspaper. Radio, tv and blogs may have wider theoretical reach, but newspapers, I think, have a better actual reach (remember the whole active reader thing?). A newspaper is a pillar in a metropolitan community.

7. Then there's the whole credibility issue. Anyone can publish on the Internet. That's a beautiful thing. I read several blogs a day, all completely different from one another in terms of content, professionalism and purpose. To publish something in print (and online too) and to be considered credible, you have to have verified sources, objectivity (or at least the semblance of it), and more often than not at least a college degree or years of experience. Snobbish? Yep. But if you're good enough to be hired and paid for your attempt at objective reporting or educated opinion, there's a slightly better chance of me taking you seriously.

8. When journalists blog, it usually sucks. Sorry, but it's true. Too many of them use it as a hobby or a sloppy, half assed attempt at social networking. They'll usually save their good stuff for their printed column. This is disappointing. Even some of the good journalists do this (not to say there isn't some really crappy, horrible writers out there who still somehow seem to get published). Until journalists get past posting the police blotter or sporadically posting their second-string columns, the newspaper will continue it's downward spiral. They also need to remember to cite their sources. Just because you're blogging doesn't mean you should forget your manners and give credit where it is due.

9. The world is polarized and segmented enough. As a blogger, I can choose and filter whatever content I damn well please into my Google Reader. Occasionally, I leave my comfortable nest of agreeing and dissenting opinions I've built for myself. But I have to work for it. As Simon and Garfunkel said, you "only hear what you want to hear and disregard the rest" With a newspaper, you have different opinions right at your fingertips. I'm more likely to pick up the sports section (when it's not baseball season) when a headline catches my eye than to click thru to the sports page on the internet.

10. I'm starting to stretch things at this point, so, to make this a nice round top 10 list, I'm going with the paper airplane/boat/George Washington hat/I need cheap packing material argument. Copy paper just isn't as effective in these applications.

I'm sure there are lots of people who disagree with pretty much every single thing I said, but, again, it's my blog, I'll spout whatever I want to spout. I just hate seeing an era end...

That's it, I'm done playing devil's advocate for the day...

Retro Gag: The HORROR!

2009-03-20T09:43:00.005-05:00

I'm not taking a cop out, but the thought of Obama Fingers is just too gag-tastic! Worse yet?

I don't care if it's fertig gebraten (fully roasted?) would you eat your Obama Fingers MIT Curry Dip?

Seriously....

I prefer my president with good ol' barbecue sauce, like George Washington and Uncle Sam intended.

Worst blog post title of the week "Our President is Finger-Licking Good"

Those evil Germans! I'm ashamed of my heritage but oddly hungry for Sauerbraten mit Rotkohl und Knudeln...