Darling Damage

Tonight, after a particularly difficult day at work, I'm lying down, reading a book, fantasizing the day away and Handsome and Darling arrive home.

Handsome comes into the room and grimly says: "Come look at your daughter's face."
I call for Darling, she walks in the room and I behold a bruise under her eye about 3" in diameter and one slightly smaller above her eye.

"Darling, what happened?"
"I was pushed down! On the ground!"
"By who?"
"Agressive Son of Our Baby Sitter"
"WHAT?!?"

Handsome pipes in with "Baby Sitter says she was hit in the face with a frisbee" It's pretty clear by Darling's shiner that a Frisbee wasn't the perpetrator...

I ask Darling, "Is that true? Was it a Frisbee or did Agressive Son push you down?"
"Agressive Son pushed me down when we played Frisbee"


This seems like a simple case. Question Babysitter why she wasn't watching the kids more closely to know what happened.

It's not. She served her husband with divorce papers today. They were arguing when Handsome came to pick up Darling.

I can understand why Agressive Son might be a bit stressed/over stimulated today seeing his parents split.

Any excuse for pushing down Darling? Hell, The Fuck NO! But sort of understandable considering his parents' sitch. We've never had a problem in the last 3.5 months that Darling's gone to this particular babysitter.

What to do? Let it pass as a bad, bad day or press the issue? Boys are more agressive than girls, I can't accept anyone laying a hand on Darling in any shape, form or fashion, but considering the circumstances, do I give Babysitter we've liked until now another chance, especially considering this is about to be her only form of financial sustanance?

I will address it tomorrow night when we can both be there. Bruises on my Darling (and whatever emotional trauma notwithstanding)is unacceptable. How do I approach this?

HELP?!?

I don't know what I'm doing

So, I've been playing around in Blogger tonight. I tried to add a blog list (that needs to be added to) of blogs I enjoy daily. If you want on this illustrious list, please let me know.

Fun With Numerology . . .

Ok, so, while I was frantically searching the "Gift box/Gift bag" Closet in order to conceal a 4 yr old's birthday present, I found what I was looking for. For almost 3 years (since I lost it when we bought our house in Jan. of 2003), I couldn't find my "Red Notebook".

My red notebook is a collection of crazy tarot/numerology/astrology (western and Chinese)/gemstone/minerals/assorted other New Age Stuff that I've collected over the years. In essence, my weird hobby/path to enlightenment outside the box.

Tonight I flipped thru it just to make friends with it again. I came across a VERY cool numerology code.

Before I ever do a Tarot spread/try anything out on my friends, I use Handsome and I as guinea pigs. I took the last 6 or 7 years of our life and figured out our cards and I will tell you, we are 6 or 7 for 6 or 7 on whether the card could fit. Handsome and my birthdays break down to the same thing. Mine is April 21 (4+2+1)and Handsome's is March 4 (3+4). Both equal 7 and so, whatever year is added, we fit. Being twin souls, this makes sense. ANYWHO......

If you're one for predictions, give this a whirl to find out what this year has in store for you:

Your birthday (month and day) + 2008
Here's an example based on me:
Everything inside the parentheses breaks down to single digit numbers always:
My birthday is April 21st:
4+(2+1)+(2+0+0+8)
4+3+10
4+3+(1+0)=8

All birthdays should break down to a number between 1 and 22. Each number coresponds to a number/card in the Major Arcana of the Tarot deck. Figure out your number and then see my interpretation of each card below.

1= The Magician: The Magician has the four gifts of the suits in front of him: wands, cups, swords and coins (direction, emotion, strength, prosperity). He holds his magic wand above him in one hand. The other is pointed to the earth, signifying that the things you dream/want will be made real if you use your gifts this year. A VERY AWESOME CARD!

2= The High Priestess: Signifies a woman who makes good decisions. Means that you will make good, balanced (head and heart) decisons this year.Embrace her.

3= The Empress: If you're thinking about having a child, this is the Fertility card. You will either get pregnant, or give birth to a creative energy in your life. What do you need to have sprout and grow this year? The Empress will make this happen (just use protection vigilantly if you don't want to be pregnant.)

4=The Emperor: Ahhh....My soul card....I love him....He is the Ruler. The things you haven't been able to control/get ahold of, you will this year. Draw on the strength of your own power and rule judiciously.

5=The Hierophant: The "Pope/Scholar" card in the deck. He is the wise sage that will lead you to what you need to know. If you draw this card, he tells you to make decisions based on what your spirituality tells you to do. This could be a year where you draw closer to God the Father, if you're willing.

6=The Lovers: If you draw this card, it's Passion, but only skin deep. The Lovers are fickle. It's heat, but no substance. Beware of your passionate feelings and cultivate deeper than just the topsoil. Fires untended burn out.

7=The Chariot: Signifies movement always. You will either physically move (home/work/school/job/ideology). Movement means growth. A very good card to draw.

8=Strength: One of my favs...A woman who caresses the head of a lion in her lap. Signifies the taming of your own wildness into something powerful. A very good growth card for what was started last year. (My 2008)

9=The Hermit: Ahhhh....Handsome's soul card....The Hermit represents going within yourself in order to find the inner path. It's ok to retreat from others/things that don't help you grow. Self reflection and decision making dominate this time. Use it wisely.

10=Wheel of Fortune: This is the rest of your life. The Wheel is spinning. You will be bound to the Fortunes that spin this year. Look to them and figure out where the wheel stops, if you can control it. A very lucky or challenging year, depending, but it's one that your soul needs. Pay attention.

11=Justice: Justice is depicted in the traditional way as a blindfolded woman representing the emotional with a scale balancing in her hands. Things that have felt out of kilter or unbalanced straighten themselves this year.

12=The Hanged Man: This is a man, hanging upside down, balancing in a yoga meditation position with a saint's halo surrounding his head. You will find the inner balance this year. You figure out the unsolvable issues this year. Listen to your inner voice, or as The Great Bambino says in "The Sandlot": "Remember kid, there's heroes and there's legends. Heroes get remembered but legends never die, follow your heart kid, and you'll never go wrong." Use this energy to find out what you really want/need and then pursue it.

13= Death: DO NOT FREAK OUT! THIS IS A GREAT CARD!!!! Going back, for both Handsome and I, 2004 signified Death for us. It was the year Darling Daughter was born. Our old life passed away and we became parents. Something new was born. A new direction, a new focus. Death in the Tarot never means somebody is going to die (Tarot cards cannot predict such a thing, if anyone tells you differently, they're either lying or a quack, or both.) DEATH IS A WONDERFUL CARD TO RECEIVE!!!! LUCKY YOU! Death represents not the negative aspect of dying, but is symbolic of rebirth. Something in your life dies away so that something else might be born. Your life is about to change. Something/someone is about to be born. A very lucky omen.

14= Temperance: Another of my favs. Temperance is an angel pouring a liquid from one cup to the other. She signifies temperance, not in the "don't do drugs, don't smoke, don't go to extremes" sense, but in the metalurgical sense. Metal, when red hot is liquid, it becomes something solid. Take the liquid things (dreams, ideals, hopes) and make them something solid/real. You have the power to do so this year.

15=The Devil: A challenging year. Don't let your inner demons/bad forces around you take over and control your decisions. Be VERY careful. (Our 2006).

16=The Tower: Think of the Tower of Babel. Everything that you built up on precarious ground without good mortar will come crashing down. This is a "testing" year. The old is destroyed and comes tumbling down so that something new may be built on the stronger foundation. (Our 2007....) It will hurt, but it's for the best.

17= The Star: My absolutely favorite Major Arcana. She signifies the "light at the end of the tunnel". She is hope and everything you've struggled with thus far will finally show itself to be worth it. A very good "realization" year.

18=The Moon: Hidden danger. The moon is romantic...it draws you in, but there are things in the dark you aren't paying attention to. Don't be wooed by things that are attractive in the darkness. They won't come to light. Beware things that are uncertain.

19=The Sun: Fun, childlike happiness follow you this year. Remember your inner child/things that make you happy. Embrace them, it's a good year. Just beware of too much innocent trusting.

20=Judgment: Today is the beginning of the rest of your life. Heard this phrase before? Hard decisions are ahead. Make good choices, and you'll be fine. The right of the universe is defined this year.

21=The World: Success in undertakings. Accomplishment. Keep on trucking. This is the year of fullfillment of what you want. You're doing ok. Trust instincts.

22=The Fool: The Fool is tricky. It depends on the person. He can represent Innocence, Beginnings, Spontenaity, but he can also represent tunnel vision and carelessness. Decide for yourself what you want this year, just think thru whatever decisions you decide.

If any of this is confusing, send me your birthday and I'll tell you what your cards are.

When the Marketing Gods Stumble...

....Shit like this happens.

Who decided that stereotypical American Idol candidates (toys) were a good idea for Happy Meals (the most deviously clever marketing ploy ever invented)?

I admit that I watch American Idol. I don't care enough to vote, but I DVR it and watch it whenever. Handsome is a singer and I try to be hip with the kids (I'm turning 31 in a week or so and feel out of it). I embrace (and mock) pop culture on a regular basis, but this my friends is "one toke over (that proverbial) line".

Darling's 3 yrs old. We have a weekly "Since You've Been REALLY, REALLY Good" trip to the Arches. (Don't start on me about health, she gets the Chicken Nuggets, milk and apples). Her favorite part is the toy.

Handsome and I prefer Burger King when we're planning on intaking 2 days worth of calories in one sitting. Darling would have none of it. We couldn't really figure out why until Handsome suggested it was the fact the Burger King toys generally tended to be crappy. I think he's right.

We've had a lovely string of Disney Princess accessories (sort of jealous of the scepter and tiara)in the last few trips. Plus, I think Darling likes the indoor play area, so what can I say, my 3 year old has brand loyalty.

Look at these. They're ugly.

Remember these guys? I miss them. They were so cool when I was a kid. Maybe I'm just strongly influenced by puppets....



Nifty trivia fact...Kansas City's own Bernstein & Rein Advertising Agency was the creator of the Happy Meal. FYI...

A Girl Like That . . .

Handsome's brother (the only one of the three I truly like) who I'll call Savior, because he kind of looks like Jesus, broke up with his girlfriend about a month ago.

No one could ever really figure out why they were dating, since they openly admitted that they didn't want to get married. They want polar opposite things right down to having/not having kids/pets. Most of us just thought it was a "best friends with benefits" situation at first, but they lasted four and a half years.

So, out of the blue, Savior finally found his balls, and broke it off for good. She's devasted and depressed and I've been uncomfortably put into the older sister confidante spot. But whatever, this isn't her story.

Savior knows I've been comforting her and so we haven't really talked at all about the situation, I've been letting Handsome take care of that. (They work together and go out to lunch all the time).

Last night, Savior and I finally talked. Aparently he jumped into another relationship with a new girl (and a friend of ex-girl) slightly before he broke up with ex-girl. Disappointing, but most guys use the diving rod in their pants to guide them out of emotionally troubling situations.

What I can't figure out is what makes girls like New Girl tick. How can you go into a new relationship with someone that isn't out of the old one? What makes you think it's going to work out, because 8 times out of 10 it doesn't.

I haven't met her yet, but I really do have an open mind. She might be a perfectly lovely girl. I'm choosing to ignore some of the gossip from Handsome and Savior's sister, but it doesn't look good for her.

Why do women jump into relationships that fast, ignoring common sense? Does she really think that he can walk away from 4 years without any baggage?

I played tug of war with another girl over a stupid boyfriend of mine once when I was in college. I "won" but that's a game you never truly "win".

Womanhood defies me today. I'm at a loss.

Friday Fill-In Fun!

Friday Fill-In Time!

1. I love springtime in _____!
Rural Missouri. Handsome grew up in a VERY small town in between St. Louis and Columbia. He dad owns 80 acres and it's just gorgeous. Woods, stream, hills. It's even better in the Fall, but in spring it's just incredible.

2. _____ are foods I love to eat for breakfast.
Apples, Honeynut Cherrios, and cold pizza

3. It seems I'm always searching for _____
Matching ponytail holders for Darling's hair.

4. _____ is a great way to end the day.
Completely exhausted from having lived life to it's fullest

5. I think I _____!
Need to stop worryiing so much

6. _____ is what I've been craving lately.
Sauerbraten mit rotkohl. I miss German food ever since Berliner Bear shut down. sigh...

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to _____, tomorrow my plans include _____ and Sunday, I want to _____!
Tonight: Hanging out with an old college friend that I dearly adore and haven't spent any time with in the last couple of months.
Tomorrow: Working at the Museum and since Darling's going with her aunt for the weekend, maybe a hot date with Handsome.
Sunday: Museum, laundry, house cleaning, flop and drop relaxation.

Today feels like the day after Christmas

The Home Opener at the K was AWESOME yesterday. It was pretty cold and wet, but we had pretty decent seats and after a couple of beers you don't even notice the cold.

I have to say that I love the new scoreboard. I'm nostalgia-prone, I'll admit, but the HD stunning glory of the new board is almost beyond words. I do think they need to learn how to play with their new toy though. There were some glitches and I would have liked to have seen more live action shots instead of replay shots, but it was pretty cool anyway.

It was also very wonderful to see the Royals playing so well. I was a little nervous for Brian Bannister, but he did a great job.

Spoiled brat that I am, I get to go to another game tonight. And this one is in a suite! Sweet, huh!

Psst...Don't Forget

With all of the KU euphoria and Home Opener excitement, don't forget to do your part for American Democracy and vote today!

Bye Bye Crown Scoreboard

I have mixed feelings. I spent so many years of my life riveted, biting my nails, hoping, praying to that beautiful, yet, ultimately vengeful god in Center field. Crown Scoreboard, I'm talking to YOU...I promise, I'll stop Royals blogging soon, but as I drove by the semi-dismantled Crown Scoreboard in Feb, a little piece of my childhood died....

I'll miss you, but I'm curious about your replacement...until tomorrow...a kiss for your memory...Ya saw me thru my first game before I was even born (my daughter's first game before she was even born, too)...all the games of my childhood as I sat mesmerized by my heroes George Brett, Brett Saberhagen, Bo Jackson, Danny Tartabull, Dick Howser, Willie Wilson, Hal McRae...as I was enamored (briefly) by Johnny Damon, Jermaine Dye, Joe Randa, Mike Sweeney...

Scoreboard, it won't be the same without you, no matter how hard they try to "improve" on your greatness...

Don't Rain on My Parade (or Opening Ballgame)

So, if I could, I would put a curse on every forecaster and KU basketball fan right now. Not only am I going to have to hear about tonight's basketball game ALL DAY TOMORROW, even while I'm at the Home Opener, but it looks like it's going to rain and be cold.

Both of these things are threatening my usual sunny (ok, partly cloudy/sarcastic) disposition.

But, I shall overcome. You bastards won't bring me down.

KU fans irritate me, but I understand fan loyalty. I get "euphoria". This is your hey day, just don't expect me to roll around in all that hey with you.

I'm particularly irked by the forecasters. Why can't Lezak (or as I call him Mr. Potato Head) get his ass out there and do an anti-rain dance? Katastrophe Katie needs summon her powers and call off the imaginary "Severe Weather" alert demons I bet she's already planning in order to boost KCTV5 ratings. Mike "The Grinning Hair Piece" Thompson needs to quit comparing his package size to Lezak and channel cloud banishing energy. Focus, Mike, FOCUS!!!! (Sorry Busby haters, I like the guy and neither my dad or myself, who enjoy taunting the tv, have ever come up with a decent bash on him).

WHAT DO WE PAY THESE PEOPLE FOR, ANYWAY? I want SHAMEN, not guessers! This is the one day of the year that I expect sunny skies and 70 degree weather. I don't much care the other 364.

Am I asking too much? I don't think so.

GO ROYALS!

Because tomorrow's the Home Opener and I'm a natural pessimist, one of my favorite childhood songs....
Here's hopin' 2008 Royals...hope you'll break this cycle...Also, I love you Amos Otis...even though I played Left Field...


Oh and maybe a little John Fogherty...what the hell!

Neccessity Truly is the Mother of Invention

There are so many things I could be writing about today on my lunch break.

Such as:
1. It sort of feels like Christmas Eve since the Royals Home Opener is tomorrow! I'll be there!
2. How Darling Daughter likes to drop the F bomb in church
3. How awesome Handsome's concert was last night
4. How sick I am of KU Basketball

Nope, instead, this one's dedicated to the greatest invention since movable type: The Breakthrough Backless Bra.

As a well-endowed female that is occassionally required to wear fancy dresses to "black tie" stuff, my jaw dropped, agog with wonder. I can't even tell you how many times I've had to pass up gorgeous dresses because those "self adhesive" bras just won't contain "the girls".

Apparently, a Nashville mother ran into my same dilemma and started cutting up one of her old bras to fashion it into something that wouldn't strap in the back. She even won second place on the tv show "American Inventor". (Personally, I think she should be given the Congressional Medal of Honor, but whatev.)

Maidenform purchase the idea, tweaked it and presto, big boobies are back in backless business!

Here's the complete story if you're interested.

I'm a Sucker for a Cowboy on a Horse

I'm not a Civil War Re-enactor of any shape, form or type. As a scholar with an honest to God History degree, a real HISTORIAN (F-U, I earned it!), I had to promise the head of the History Department before I graduated that I would NEVER EVER, no matter what pressure I was put under, become (gasp) a Re-Enactor.

Yeah, Academics are snobbish, and for the most part, they're right when it comes to true history, but, if you live anywhere near the KS/MO border, do me a favor...learn the history that's around you.

For God's sakes, we were fighting the Civil War 10 years before Ft. Sumtner! Betcha didn't know that!

Do you know what a REAL Jayhawk is? Are you really such a fan? Yeah, you KU people still are, no matter what the orignial connotation means.

Google Col. Charles "Doc" Jennison, Grandaddy to all Jayhawks.

I threatened my KU-besotted ex-boss with telling his daughters what a REAL Jayhawk was, but I didn't...probably because I loved "The Sound of Music" and my mother ruined it with giving me the biography of the REAL Maria Von Trapp...don't read it if you don't want the Christopher Plummer/Julie Andrews dream to shatter.

Anyway....check out these guys. I think I know one or two from my historical ramblings 'round the city....pretty freakin' cool guys that keep the Border History alive...but then again, I'm a sucker for a "real" cowboy.

You know, if you're a Constant Reader, that I'm a part time Weekend Manager of a local museum. It never ceases to amaze me of the look on people's faces as they learn about the history that happened right here in KC (And Lawrence, and Centralia, and Lone Jack and Boonville). Missouri Bushwackers! Jesse James, Cole Younger, Wild Bill Anderson and William Quantrill.

To know you're city's history, here's my (in no particular order to preserve my anonimity)top favorite museums:

1. John Wornall House. If you want a DETAILED account of the Border during the Civil War, this is your stop. It's even supposed to be haunted. (Bonus!)

2. Thomas Hart Benton House. I, as a tepid art lover, have NEVER been on such a cool tour. After his wife died in the 1970's, the state touched nothing and put strings up on the bookshelves and didn't even move the notes under the refrigerator magnets. If you want to see THB's studio, it's been untouched since the day he died. VERY AWESOME!

3. Strawberry Hill Museum. Incredibly immigrant art, devotion to culture. As my great-grandparents settled in KC in the 1880's-1900's, KCK was much different from today. VERY COOL example of community keeping their heritage alive in a non-academic setting.

4. Harry S. Truman House and Museum in Independence. Go to both. You won't regret it. He's the most incredible President. Go. No discussion.

5. Steamboat Arabia. Most expensive museum in town (I think). I hated how the guys who dug up the boat said, "We're not historians, we're just a bunch of blue collar guys trying to go on a treasure hunt". TURNED ME OFF! Yes it's cool that they preserve things right in front of visitors' eyes, but since 90% of their artifacts are on display, they're going to be damaged in time. But...still cool to see the spoils of a wrecked steamboat ala Tom Sawyer.

First Friday April Feast

Appetizer
Invent a new flower; give it a name and describe it.strong>
I really like marigolds, but I hate the way they smell, so maybe a marigold hybrid that has bigger flowers, and smells like tulips. I'll call it the tuligold.

Soup
Name someone whom you think has a wonderful voice.
I'd be a traitor if I didn't say my husband. I could (and have)spend hours listening to him sing (He has a very expensive BFA in Vocal Performance, so I would hope so). I can't sing at all, so if I could sing like anyone famous, it would be Audra MacDonald. She has the most beautiful voice.

Salad
On a scale of 1 to 10 with 10 being highest, how clean do you keep your car?
7.25. I have a 3 year old. She's messy. I do a weekly cleanout though.

Main Course
How do you feel about poetry?
I love poetry and have a habit of quickly memorizing things. Handsome Hubby finds it endearing I have so many poems in my heads. As a poet, I'm lousy, but I try occassionally.

Dessert
What was the last person/place/thing you took a picture of?
A picture of 2 co-workers for the company newsletter. Exciting, huh?

Moxie's Got a Serious Celeb Crush

This doesn't happen often. But, since I spend a lot of money on a local sports radio station, my boss and I were invited to the Kansas City Sports Commission Spring Baseball Kick Off Luncheon a month or so ago.

I admit I haven't really followed the Royals as closely as I did before getting married and having Darling Daughter, but I fell in celeb crush lust on the spot. (I'm pretty sure Boss Man has a bit of a man-crush)

Brian Bannister is incredible! Holy David DeJesus, he's dreamy! But merely having rugged good looks and gorgeous blue eyes isn't enough for me. (But yeah, it goes pretty far).

I think I got disillusioned with major league baseball after the whole Tony Pena "We Believe" (until the Royals inevitably F up) campaign flopped. Baseball was a complete let down for me, a life long Royals fan, who had guys like George Brett, Brett Saberhagen, Danny Tartabull and even Johnny Damon (who sold his soul to the devil, I mean the Yankees) to admire "back in the day".

Sweeney had me going for awhile and then he turned into a wimp who couldn't stay off the DL and it was the last straw. I had a lot going on in my late 20's and staying faithful to a bunch of guys who viewed the Royals as either a stepping stone in their career or the end of the line wasn't a priority.

Brian spoke at the baseball lunheon and I was wowed. This guy's got passion for the game...imagine that? He was the best spoken of the players that were there and you could tell that Trey Hillman already had respect for him and Dayton Moore liked him. I like the fact that Bannister goes about his game like he's playing chess. He thinks about the statistics and each person he's going to face. He's honest to God intelligent when he speaks. Gil Meche and Mark Grudzielanek were obviously not meant for speaking engagements.

Ok, so his win loss record last year wasn't stellar, but he's young (26) and he just kicked the Tigers' tails today!

The sky is probably falling and I'm setting myself up for serious heartbreak, but man, the Boys in Blue look good this year! Kansas City is 2-0 for the second time in only 28 years! (Let me revel in it while it lasts, it's so brief, yet so sweet to actually be above .500!)

I can't wait for Opening Day at the K! I've got tickets and am actually going for the first time since 2002! I'm seriously excited this year. More on my opinions of Trey Hillman later...

ps...he's blowing me a kiss in that pic, I know he is! sigh, I'm glad my husband understands my love of baseball!

Looks Like Uniqua's Moving In

In case you aren't hip with the hottest issues in the Pre-School set, Uniqua is one of the characters on The Backyardigans which is one of Darling Daughter's favorite shows. Apparently, she's also my daughter's new imaginary best friend.

This morning as we were leaving the house, Darling yelled, "No Daddy! Wait for Uniqua!" and as I was closing my car door, "Wait for Uniqua, Mama! Hurry up, Uniqua but be careful, your shoe is untied."

Handsome and I both smiled at each other and have played along with the new member of the family. Darling's got a great imagination (Daddy's an actor, Mama creates junk mail) what can I say?

And really, she has great taste in imaginary friends. I found a description of Uniqua on the Nick Jr. website that describes her as:

Uniqua is her name and her species. She’s graceful, agile, and as light on her feet as a ballerina. But when it comes to playing, she’s more “adventure” than “ballet.” Unafraid and daring, Uniqua loves to run, climb, and ride her bike faster than anyone. She also loves to tell silly jokes, make silly noises, and tickle her friends. Yes, Uniqua is mischievous, but she’s also sweet – she knows whether her friends are happy or sad, and she’ll always say something to show that she cares.

Certainly sounds like a pretty cool best friend if you ask me. She sounds a lot like Darling, to tell you the truth.

While this is a cute turn of events, I'm worried there isn't something deeper to it. As a parent you worry about every single thing and I'm hoping it's not that she is lonely and wants a sibling. Isn't 3 and half kind of young for imaginary friends? I don't know...

Handsome and I are in the early discussions of the next kid and both of us are hesitant. Kids are expensive and after a very upsetting year when Darling was 2 and I tried for almost a year to get pregnant and couldn't, we decided it was better for my mental health to just put it off for awhile. It was stressing me out too much.

Maybe it's time to start thinking about it again a little more actively. I just don't know yet.

Out of the Mouth of Babes #612

When Handsome put Darling Daughter down for her nap this afternoon, he was irritated by the menagerie in DD's bed.

"You don't need all this crap in your bed. You don't have enough room to sleep!"

Handsome then proceeded to exterminate the 735 stuffed animals (Thanks, Mom) from her bed and told DD that she could only have 4 stuffed animals in there at one time.

As I went to put DD down for bed tonight, I call out for Handsome and he enters DD's room.

"Looks like your rule didn't stick, Daddy" as we surveyed the 735 stuffed animals back on the bed.

DD turns to us as serious as a heart attack and says, "I like the crap in my bed"

Then we had the "Good Words/Bad Words" talk (again) and Daddy apologized for using a bad word.

Just as an FYI, the 3 year old mind is a living, growing sponge. Everything you say/do can and will come back to bite you in the ass, I mean cheeks.

Sigh...

I don't know if the Environment really matters...

It might be because it's an election year, but it seems like the environment is becoming a forefront issue in the last couple of months. "Going Green" is everywhere I turn. Flipping through the ads in the Sunday paper I even saw a shirt advertised that says, "Recycling is HOTT!" ($7.50 at Target, I think)

So is "saving the environment" just a political buzz word or do people really care enough to make changes in behavior/how they purchase things? Or does it all come down to convenience?

The reason I'm so curious is that I'm the Marketing Manager for a larger "home services industry" in Kansas City. We're also part of a corporation and Corporate is putting out a piece to our customers touting our "Green-ness" and how if they purchase this gadget for their home, they will save on their utility bills and the environment.

Honestly? It's actually an awesome promotion, even if I didn't create it myself. People really do need this do-dad of ours. But are they going to spend the money for said do-dad merely on the principal that they will be helping the environment, or does it come down to their pocket book and how much it really will save them money?

Some of our products cost thousands of dollars. Would someone really decide that they want to replace working items in their home just to reduce their carbon footprint? My paycheck hopes so, but I'm skeptical.

Handsome, Darling and I are moderately environmentally friendly in the Moxie household. We are "light green" I guess. We recycle almost all of our trash, we compost, we even carpool with Handsome's brother (We live very close to my job and Handsome and his brother work together).

Do we carpool because we're trying to reduce carbon emissions? Nope. We do it to save gas money. Recycling saves on trash bags, composting is convenient. I wouldn't say we do any of these solely to help the environment.

We certainly don't buy products for their friendliness to Mother Earth (Except hair spray. I would never buy aersol hair spray).

So, are we the average American? Or are we just behind the times in our moderate apathy of the environment? I have no idea.

I just hope enough people do buy the do-dad that's getting advertised this week. We'll see.

Check out this website and figure your own carbon footprint.

Mama Cleo

Back when I was in college and discovering/exploring new things in the universe (ie: looking past my Roman Catholic upbringing), I discovered Tarot. I know there are a lot of people who equate tarot with Mama Cleo and fake fortune tellers, but Tarot and the power of the cards has survived for centuries before that fake Jamaican actress. THERE ARE MANY WAYS TO HEAR THE VOICE OF THE DIVINE...

Tarot is one of those things that you can do....or you can't. No ifs, ands or buts. When I decided to pick it up and try it, I wanted to use it as a spiritual tool. So, before I laid out a spread for my guinea pigs (family and friends), I said (still say) a prayer to the Holy Spirit and ask that they help me to communicate the message that God wants the person to hear.

Surprises of suprises, I was actually REALLY good at it. So, I decided to go commercial (big F'in mistake). This was the late-90's before the fall of Cleo. (I actually worked about a month for Mama Cleo's sight and quit when they didn't pay me.) They were a bunch of fakes and I didn't want anything to do with it. After getting the "Training Manual" I realized that the majority of people who worked for her were absolute idiots and the manual encouraged you to lie and tell the querant what they wanted to hear. That's not the spirit of God and I couldn't take it.

Still, I knew I had a gift. Still, I knew I had helped some people realize what they already knew. I wasn't going to give up. After the Cleo-Catastrophe I researched a bit further and found a different Tarot line.

Before they allowed me on the line, they sent me through and interview and a test (novel idea, huh?). I had to get on the phone line with someone, not knowing if they were male or female, nothing about them at all, and lay out the Celtic Cross Spread. If I wasn't 100% accurate in my reading, they wouldn't offer me a job.

I did it. And God how I regret it. Every reading I gave was fine until one night a girl who was living in California came on the line. Her first question was whether or not her boyfriend could find out what it was she talked about. I told her no, but the number would show up on the phone bill.

She was scared. I started laying out her cards and stopped.

I told her I could see she was in trouble. I asked her who it was that was dangerous to her.

She told me her story about how she came to California with her current boyfriend, who had apparently killed her ex boyfriend in Ohio (a drug deal gone VERY bad). She was worried her was going to turn on her and hurt her.

I didn't need my cards for this one. I told her to hang up the phone, go somewhere safe and go home to her mom in Ohio. I've never had an intuition stronger in my life than this. If she didn't do exactly what I said, she was going to die.

I spent a half an hour on the phone, desperately telling her to do what I said, and to this day, 8.5 years later, I'll never know if she followed my advice.

I saw her death in my cards, (the only time I've ever seen it, Tarot doesn't work that way) and felt it in her situation and I only hope she listened.

I hung up my cards that night. At least in regards to strangers. I didn't even touch them for months after that reading, no matter how desperate my friends were for advice.

I couldn't and I wouldn't. I still to this day pray for that girl, so many years and miles away....

I hope she listened to me. I pray for her, that she did...

Because one Friday Meme Isn't Enough

Friday Fill-ins

1. Some relationships are meant to _end badly_.
2. _The Violent Femmes last fall_ is the last concert I saw; it was _incredibly AWESOME_.
3. Spring should be _skipped over so we go straight to Summer_.
4. Oh no! I forgot _to call Erin last night_!
5. I've recently started _blogging away the conversations I have in my head_.
6. _Darling Daughter_ never fails to make me smile.
7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to _laying on the couch watching tv_, tomorrow my plans include _cleaning, laundry and hanging out with some very cool people_ and Sunday, I want to _just relax and take Darling Daughter to the park_!

Friday Feast!

Appetizer
What does the color dark green make you think of?
The really, really warm and cozy comforter I had when I was in high school and forest green and burgandy were the hip colors

Soup
How many cousins do you have?
9

Salad
On a scale of 1 to 10 with 10 being highest, how honest are you?
8.5 I'm brutally honest about pretty much everything, but I still will sneak in the "Oh, that's such a pretty color on you" comment every so often.

Main Course
Name something that is truly free.
I've only got cheesy stuff for this one: beautiful sunsets, smiles, and my daughter's hugs

Dessert
Using the letters in the word SPRING, write a sentence.
Sometimes Problems Reveal Ideas Never Guessed.

(Softball) Diamonds are a Girl's Best Friend

Dear Little Softball Field Down the Street,

I've missed you too. I've heard you calling to me in the depths of winter under that blanket of snow. Right now you're really muddy, but soon, very soon, I'll come play on you. Darling Daughter is ready. She got her very first wiffle ball and bat from the Easter Bunny. She's taken some practice swings in the back yard and she's really quite good. And you know how great she can throw, so I'm thinking she's going to be the next Jennie Finch, don't you? I've got my glove all ready and Handsome pulled out the "gear" from the closet when he was searching for DD's helmet (for her tricyle adventure) the other day. Soon, softball, soon.

Love,
Moxie Mama

There are very few things I love in life more than softball. March is always the month where my palms start itching for my glove and I start hunting down my glove and bat and softballs. Baseball/Softball is a second religion in my family. As soon as we were old enough to pick up a ball, all five of us were ready. My dad coached all of our Little League/Powder Puff teams at some point and I went on to play 2 years in college. (I quit the team when I decided on double majoring. I wasn't the next Jennie Finch and 2 demanding degrees was enough to keep me busy). I'm glad my mom taught my sisters and I how to wear high heels and my dad taught us to wear cleats. We're well rounded like that, I guess.

My lust for the field must be hereditary. Every spring I could see my dad getting more and more excited as the season approached. His father (my grandfather) is such a fanatic that back in the 1950's he really did build a Field of Dreams (but in a Kansas cornfield, not Iowa) for my dad and the neighborhood kids. Many nights of my childhood I was lulled to sleep by the sweet, sweet purr of Harry Carey/Denny Matthew's voice. To this day, when I hear Denny Matthew's voice, I am instantly sleepy.

When we were growing up, my dad always would gather us up and take us up to the local field to practice. While I kind of hated getting up that early every Sat. morning in summers, I was glad we did when I got older. That was one of the best family bonding memories I still have in a family relationship that isn't all that great anymore.

One of my stipulations before marrying Handsome was that he had to be able to not only play, but LOVE baseball as much as I do. The first time I saw him park the ball over the fence, my heart was his, forever more. I even forgive him for being a Cardinals fan despite living in Kansas City for over 11 years.

DD was born on the opening day of the 2004 Summer Olympics. The first couple of weeks of her life we did little more than eat, sleep, pee, poop, cry and watch the Olympics. Having a brand new baby, what do you say to them past "I love you" "You're the most beautiful thing in the universe" and "I can't believe you're ours"? So I talked to her about softball. We watched swimming and diving too, but it was Jennie Finch and the US Women's Softball team that had our rapt attention.

As the weather is finally warming up a bit outside, I'm looking forward to baseball/softball season. I can't wait the first day I get to play. The smell of the infield chalked out, the sound of the crack of a bat, the sting of the ball hitting my glove. Ahhh...I'm ready!

It's Merely the Shell of My Soul, So What's the Big Deal?

Wow, I was blown away by Sizzle's latest post. She is such an incredible blogger and what a familiar and painful story. She fully gets the Moxie Mama Seal of Approval for being so brave as to share that.

Her story made me think of my own. I never struggled with my weight until my sophomore year of college. I was date raped (and told no one at that point) and found out a week later that I was on a fraternity's Top Ten Sex List. (Yes, my rapist was in the frat). This sent me spiraling out of control. Over the next year I gained 60 pounds to hide myself away so that would never happen to me again.

Over the last 11 and a half years I've yoyo-ed all over the scale from 132 to 230. I'm not kidding. The scariest part was when I was nine months pregnant with Darling Daughter and STILL 30 pounds lighter than when I was at my heaviest.

While Handsome Hubby has never made an issue of my weight (He says, "My love for you only comes in one size: XXL") my family has always badgered me about it. My mother destroyed what little self esteem I had left after the rape and it's only been through Handsome's constant support and the love of my friends that I've healed that part of my life.

I hate dieting. I'm still doing it, I'm almost within spitting distance of a healthy BMI and have just 30 pounds to go to my ideal weight. But even when I get there, I know that I'm going to struggle with this for the rest of my life. And that's so depressing.

One of my favorite John Denver (I know, cheesy, but I love him) songs is called "Eagles and Horses". One of my favorite lines is, "My body is merely the shell of my soul, but the flesh must be given it's due"

For me, this means not losing weight to be attractive, but losing weight to be healthy. When I'm heavy, there are times I get depressed looking in the mirror and have to remind myself that my body is just the shell of my soul, the part of me that REALLY matters is inside.

So what's society's hang up with weight? Some of the most beautiful women I know aren't a size 5 (or even a size 16). My friend and I used to kid that if we were in a Reubenesque painting, we'd be super models.

I worry about Darling Daughter. While she's 3 and a perfectly healthy weight, I hope I'm always able to let her know that she is beautiful deep down inside of her even if she doesn't look like Hannah Montana (or whoever it is by then).

Just my random thoughts as I contemplate my Healthy Choice frozen lunch...sigh.

Darling Daughter

She is truly the most beautiful thing in the world to me. I'm so lucky she's my daughter. I hope she still feels like I'm the greatest Mama in the world when she's 30.

Trippy, Trippy Political Dreams

I've been waiting until I FINALLY finished my "If Barack Came to Dinner..." post to discuss this, but, this website is too crazy to pass up!

Let's say you have a wild dream about one of the candidates. It's 2 am and you HAVE to share it with SOMEBODY! Well, everyone you know is asleep. That's ok. You can share your crazy wild dream with the entire world.

A few dreams:

A guy who dreamt that he was finger painting during a war with Hillary who invited him to a Hillary pep rally

A 30 yr old woman who calmed from a temper tantrum by dancing with Barack

A guy who had a dream that Billy Idol and John McCain were really the same guy and while McCain was supposed to be at the Hanoi Hilton, he was really living the rock star life

I can be such a voyeur sometimes, but this is truly interesting. Based just on how many dreams people have submitted since Feb/March of this year, here's how the unconscious of America will vote:

Barack: 101 dream votes
Hillary: 91 dream votes (it's a close race)
John McCain: 6 dream votes (to be fair, his site was started in March while the other 2 were started in Feb. But STILL, not very dreamy!)

So there you have it. Barack is dreamiest. Just ask my neighbor.


Anywho, I feel boring. I haven't dreamt of any of them. Maybe I need to try the Homer Simpson method of transcendental lucid dreaming. (Remember the episode where he's at the Chili Cook Off and he eats Chief Wiggum's Guatemalan insanity peppers, passes out and goes into a weird dream. He hooks up with that crazy coyote spirit guide who tries to help him realize Marge is his real soul mate.)

Anyway, check out the site, enjoy, add something to it if you can. I'll let you know if I dream of any of them.

Wrap Up of the Dinnertime Chats

I'm still waiting for my Super Candidate.

There are things that I like/hate about each of the candidates and while I thought envisioning having each over for dinner would help me make up my mind of the lesser of 3 evils, it really hasn't.

There's probably no way on earth anybody could convince me to vote for Hillary. I like some stuff about McCain, but I really don't want another Republican in office. I really like some things about Barack, I just don't think he's ready yet to clean up the mess the next president is going to have to fix.

So, I'm back to the drawing board. I still have 7+ months to decide. I'm not sweating yet.

If Barack Obama Came To Dinner....

I think I would enjoy this dinner the most. Obama's got that "Cult of Personality" thing going for him...

Barack would probably arrive just a minute or two late, but we can't really blame him for that. What, with our neighbor from across the street accosting him with her adulation? She's pretty sure he's the Democratic Messiah and it was kind of embarrassing when we had to get the garden hose out just so she'd let go of his leg, but he eventually makes it into the house.

Darling Daughter immediately flocks to him and climbs up into his lap. She gives him a hug and introduces him to No Fuss Gus. They become instant friends and they watch Curious George on PBS while Handsome and I get dinner ready.

Barack had specifically asked for take out barbeque because he didn't want to put us to any trouble. So, we're having Gates (with Cheesy Corn smuggled in from Jack Stack). C'mon! What's more Kansas City than Gates BBQ and Boulevard Wheat? Nuthin' I tell ya.

Dinner is ready in a flash and we all decide that it would be nicer to eat in the living room and watch American Idol. (No, I promised to keep it a State Secret who he really wants to win.) DD shares her fries with Barack (a major sign of trust) and I tightly seal the curtains on the front windows against our neighbor (but we can still see her shadow, so it's kind of creepy).

Mid-way thru dinner, I ask him, "So, Barack, I've really liked you ever since I listened to your speech at the '04 DNC. But seriously, what's this whole 'Hope' thing all about? I don't get it."

....and you could hear the crickets chirpping...

He stares at me blankly and asks me, "Don't you have hope the country is going to get better if we all work together?"

I answer, "Well, sure I do."

He asks, "Don't you think I'd make a good president?"

I look at Handsome, who winces, knowing I'm going to be truthful...
"Well, as a sort of decent but mostly lapsing Catholic, I disagree with your stances on school vouchers, illegal immigration, abortion, and stem cell research.

I'm pretty good with your health care, Iraq, gay marriage, the environment, and civil liberties. I like that you preach a message to parents to be responsible for their children.

Do I think you can pull it all off? No offense, but not really. If you ran in another 8 years, I would vote for you in a heartbeat. I don't think you have the political allies or experience built up enough. As an average American, I've spent the last 8 years suffering under an inexperienced, one term governor. And, while, you are most certainly no George W. Bush, I'd like to love you, not just like-you like-you as President. I don't envy anybody who has to take over in Jan. of 2008. They better come in with a hell of big shovel to help dig us out of the hole we're in."

Barack just smiles at me and says, "Well, we'll just agree to disagree. You'll come around and be swept up with the flooding tide of American enthusiasm for change."

"Ok, dude. Sure. Hope that happens."

Barack turns to Handsome and asks, "Well, how 'bout you? Do you think I'd do ok?"

Handsome, always the politician himself, replies, "Sure, I don't follow politics all that closely, and I'm not really sure where you stand on the issues, but you seem like a nice enough guy."

DD, bored to tears by grown-up talk, begs to play Guitar Hero, so we do. Or at least, Handsome, DD and Barack do. DD's pretty rockin' at it for a 3 yr. old and Barack can really tear up "Sweet Child of Mine".

It's DD's bedtime and Barack tucks her and Gus into bed after reading some of the more dream-enhancing parts of "Audacity of Hope".

After giving Handsome and I hugs, thanking us for a lovely evening and telling us we should get together again real soon, he makes sure his Secret Service agents are posted outside and make a mad dash for his idling car before our 50-year old Obama Girl neighbor can mob him again.

Gas It Up On Wednesdays

Consider this you Public Service Announcement for the day...

Apparently, if you're looking to save some of your hard earned cash, you should buy gas on Wednesday mornings on the Missouri side of State Line.

I heard gas prices could go higher than $4 a gallon this summer...

Ugh.

Anyway, hope this helps.

Survivor: Family Holiday Edition

(note about above photo...YES PLEASE! How glorious!)

Thank God Easter is over! Darling Daughter is chocolate saturated, Grandma spoiled, and cheap-crap toy enhanced. Personally, Handsome and I are EXHAUSTED after 3 egg hunts, church, a visit with my mother, and seeing a show yesterday.

Holidays are fun, right? Until you have kids and then they are exhausting and fun and magical for them, or something.

Guess what I'm doing next weekend? NOTHING! Handsome and I are already planning on sitting on our butts, listless telling DD to "Stop it, or you're going to Time Out!" In other words, unless something better comes along, we're relaxing.

The only disappointing thing about Easter this year was the fact that I heard NOT ONE Cadbury Egg commercial. Not one...a bunny that sounds like a chicken? Cute kids saying "Thank you, Easter Bunny"?

Priceless.

I guess there's always next year!

Broken Hearts . . .

You want a heart? You don't know how lucky you are not to have one. Hearts will never be practical until they can be made unbreakable.



Tonight, being Good Friday evening, instead of being at church like a good Catholic, I'm at home in a funk. Painful memories from the past are swirling around me like ghosts of things I've put away, but still remember.

Years and years ago, when Handsome and I were still just dating, we broke our engagement abruptly. It was for the best and we needed time to seperate and get our deeper shit in order within ourselves. It probably saved our future marriage. The course of true love never runs straight and all that happy horseshit...Nevertheless it was of soap opera dramatics and friend splitting theatrics. We were the "Luke and Laura" of our peer group, the couple that would always be together. People were shocked, but it needed to happen. He needed to learn that I'm the most important person in the world to him and I needed to learn that I didn't need to be so possessive.

My birthday fell on Good Friday that year. I had been out on a distraction-from-Handsome date and when I came home, while my date was still there, Handsome's mother called me to wish me a "Happy Birthday", but it ended up being a sobfest because she was upset we weren't coming to their house for Easter and she was so upset by how Handsome and my relationship turned out. She had already accepted me as a daughter. We both end up crying, me mostly because Handsome didn't even call my on the day and even though we were broken up, it still hurt.

All the while, my date is downstairs waiting for me to finish talking to my ex-soon-to-be Mother-in-Law. I realized that night that I wasn't being fair to my date since I wasn't over Handsome. A week or so later I broke it off.

Handsome and I obviously got back together and got married and had Darling Daughter. I was grateful for the time apart, but that 2.5 months were some of the hardest of my life.

Maybe I'm down tonight because Handsome's brother just broke it off with his long time girlfriend. She's not taking it well at all, even though they both know it was never going to turn into marriage. I see a lot of similarities of her reactions to my own. She's even about the same age I was when Handsome and I broke up.

My heart goes out to her, but I don't know what to say that she'll listen to. I had a friend of mine tell me during our break up that "This will either make or break you guys" and he was right.

People are so careless sometimes with other people's hearts. So many marriages end that maybe could have been fixed if they both tried. Some are just unfixable. Popular culture encourages infidelity and society tells us to put our needs above others. If everybody is doing that, how can relationships stay strong?

I was disturbed by a post I saw on the KC Star's mom2mom blog this week from a woman who is the wife of an Iraq War vet. The lady was reaching out saying how hard it was to keep her marriage together while suffering PTSD as well as his issues. So many of the "supportive women" told her to take care of herself and her daughter before being there for her husband.

As the daughter of a Vietnam Vet, I've watched my mother lovingly support my father and all of the issues he brought back with him for all of the almost 31 years of my life. I've been amazed by her courage and selflessness (a rarity for her, but it shows how much she loves him). You do the impossible for those you love sometimes.

Unless the guy is a physical/emotional threat to her or her daughter, why shouldn't she stand by her husband and put him first, if not for just a little while? The pain of war eases in time. There's too much of a "grab the baby and run" mentality sometimes, I think.

I'll leave you with the ultimate sad, broken heart song, Linda Ronstadt's "Long, Long Time"...



Followed closely by the Indigo Girls' "Ghost"

Man, I'm depressing this evening.

Personality Test...hmm.

Don't know if this is the real me, but ok...


My Personality

Neuroticism	47
Extraversion	78
Openness to Experience	72
Agreeableness	50
Conscientiousness	56

You do not feel nervous in social situations, and have a good impression of what others think of you, however you feel strong cravings and urges that you have difficulty resisting. You tend to prefer short-term pleasures and rewards over long-term consequences. You generally make friends easily enough although you mostly don't go out of your way to demonstrate positive feelings toward others. You like the security of tradition, but sometimes have a desire to bend the rules and challenge conventional thinking. You find helping other people genuinely rewarding and are generally willing to assist those who are in need. You find that doing things for others is a form of self-fulfillment rather than self-sacrifice, however you do not enjoy confrontation, but you will stand up for yourself or push your point if you feel it is important. You take your time when making decisions and will deliberate on all the possible consequences and alternatives.

Take a Personality Test now or view the full Personality Report. PureAwakening Jewelry.

Spring is officially here! Yipee-Ki-Ya!

I'll get to Obama's dinner a little later....

It's the Spring Equinox. I don't care if it's supposed to snow this weekend. It's official. IT'S SPRING! Praise Baby Jesus, the Easter Bunny and Mother Nature. It's a beautiful KC day and after this horrible crap of a winter, Spring is...um...springing.

SCREW YOU WINTER! Sunshine and warmth and plants and stuff are back! It makes me itchy for sandals and playing softball.

That's it. After I go and cut some radio spots, Mama's playing hooky. Well, I'll take stuff home and do it tonight.

If Hillary Came to Dinner . . .

I had to really think about this one...

Hillary would of course show up precisely on time and enthusiastically hug Handsome Hubby and I like we were her BFF's. She would bring flowers, a bottle of white wine (after one of her handlers called to find out what I was preparing for dinner) and a signed copy of her book, "Living History" as gifts. (Handsome Hubby and I are a little disappointed Bill didn't come with her...)

I apologize for how messy the house is, but Hillary brushes it aside and says, "I understand how hard it is to be a working mom. You should have seen the messes Chelsea and Bill would make!"

She would condescend to DD's level and tell her that she likes DD's pig tails and ask the name of her little blue lizard lovey (No Fuss Gus, if you're curious.) She would then try to hug DD, who has never been receptive to strangers getting up in her face and certainly not one as intimidating as Hillary, causing DD to scamper off to her room.

Hillary then asks if she can help with supper and I let her set the table. We engage in small talk, complete with reminscent memories of Chelsea when she "was that age" and I ask her advice about how to get DD to eat something besides chicken, hot dogs and breakfast bars. She dances around the issue and vaguely tells me she never had that problem with her daughter, but when she's elected president, she will reform the Department of Education's nutrition curriculum and pressure Congress to stop advertisers from infiltrating children's television. (I don't remind her that I'm a marketer).

We're having caesar salad, my famous Lemon Pepper Chicken, wild rice pilaf and asparagus for dinner. I call DD to dinner and she comes scurrying into the kitchen wearing her Princess/Dorothy shoes, her purple and black witches hat and waving her magic wand. Gus is tucked under one arm. She puts on her "mad face" and points the wand at Hillary.

Both Handsome Hubby and I cringe, because this is her favorite game and we know what's coming next...

"NO, WITCH! YOU CAN'T HAVE TOTO!" (yes, I know she's the one wearing the witch's hat).

We both profusely apologize and let her know that DD's favorite movie is "Wizard of Oz" since her father was in that show last summer. Hillary laughs it off and we eat dinner, discussing the treatment of women by the Taliban, No Child Left Behind (and how I think it's the worst thing to happen to American Education EVER) and what it was like to live in the White House. I'm disappointed she only laughs when I ask if she ever slept in the Lincoln bedroom.

It's a little tense when HH says that we were big fans of Bill. She puts on her "mad face" and tartly retorts, "This isn't about HIM, it's about ME and winning the election. Oh, and average Americans, of course". She quickly recovers and we go on eating in silence.

During dessert (Strawberry Shortcake), we listen to a mixed CD including jazz, Journey ("Don't Stop" is definitely included)and Celine Dion (with of course, her campaign song "You and I").

After dinner, DD retires to her play room to watch "Dora" and we are praised for having exposed her to multi-cultural shows. Neither of us tell Hillary that we are suffering Dora and Diego burn out, but whatever. The three of us decide to play the Game of Life, a personal favorite of mine. We let Hillary win. We know that she's pretty used to getting what she wants.

As DD gets ready for bed, Hillary reads her "Good Night, Moon" which is a DD favorite. Apparently, it's Bill's favorite too.

After DD is tucked into bed, we bid the presidential hopeful good night and our evening is complete.

If a Picture Speaks a 1,000 Words....

This is why Ron Paul is not invited to dinner at my house and won't be anywhere near my 3 year old! Crazy ol' man!

If McCain Came to Dinner.....

So, I don’t know who I’m going to vote for in the Presidential election. I swing both ways politically and usually vote for the candidate I think will do the best job, regardless of their party.

I’ve tried to decide who to vote for...there’s the issues of course, but to make an informed decision, I’d like to pick and choose among the candidates, buffet-style to find the perfect palatable choice. I’d love to Frankenstein them into my own SUPER CANDIDATE!!!!

So, that got me thinking. Maybe I should think about who I’d like to have over for dinner. If I could pleasantly break bread with one of them, maybe they could win my vote.

So, the next few blogs will be dedicated to my "Dream Dinners" with the candidates and how I would envision how the evening would proceed....

First up, John McCain....

I imagine him ringing the doorbell and Darling Daughter running towards the door, peeking thru the window, screaming, "Grandpa, Grandpa!" I would quietly hush her before opening the door and say, "No, that’s Presidential Hopeful Mr. John McCain. Be nice to him,"

All 3 of us would greet him with a hearty handshake and say, "Glad you could join us, Mr. McCain" I would apologize that the house is a mess, but I’m a working mother and have no time to portray the Republican view of a perfect SAHM. Ignore the mess....

After about 5 minutes of silly small talk, DD would climb up in his lap and say, "Want to come to my room, John? We can play Dance Party!" at which time, being the gracious baby kisser I imagine him to be, he agrees and I scurry to the kitchen to finish the food prep. We’re having salad, steaks Handsome Hubby grilled, baked potatoes and rolls.

When dinner is ready, I peek in DD’s room, and see them singing along to "Bingo" and dancing in front of the mirror in tiaras and DD’s "Princess shoes" (sparkly pink similar to Dorothy’s ruby reds in the Wizard of Oz") and giggling as they wave their magic wands. Mr. McCain says that he’s going to borrow her magic wand so that if he’s elected President, he can wave it and there will be Social Security funds for when Mommy and Daddy retire.

I interrupt the revelry and announce that dinner is served. John then informs me that he served his country and was a POW for 5 years. After an awkward pause, I say, "My dad was a Corpsman, Second Class in Vietnam..." He responds like every vet that I ever shared that with, "Really? A Corpsman? We loved those guys. They saved our asses."

We then proceed to have our All-American dinner, complete with apple pie for dessert (Dude, I don’t bake...I bought a Tippin’s, ok?) and are serenaded by the melodic tunes of Baby Einstein’s Vivaldi (DD’s favorite CD). It seems Republicanish and DD refuses to listen to the unadulterated hard core classical we have. We discuss the war, the economy, and the illegal immigration policies he would enact (all of which I am in favor of) and who has a shot at winning the World Series....Ya know, regular people stuff....

After dinner, Handsome Hubby invites John to go out onto the back patio for cigars and, in that charming family way when they don’t know how else to entertain someone, asks if he’d like to play Spades.

After a rousing card game and too much red wine (during which I inform him he looks like a gopher and sounds like Ronald Reagan, which is not a good thing, but he takes pretty well), Mr. McCain watches School House Rock! with DD (He knows every word to "I’m Just a Bill...") and reads her favorite pop-up book of the "Wizard of Oz" to her, informing her that it is nothing more than L. Frank Baum’s vision of a Populist utopia and tucks her into bed.

Our Republican evening is over and we bid him adieu, telling him to stop by anytime he’s in the Midwest and advise him to try and channel a little more Harry Truman (a president that truly had large cajones). He smiles, shuffles a bit in an "Awww...shucks!" way and stumbles off into the night....

This truly made me giggle

I don't even like Marshmallow Peeps, but this was truly amusing. Or maybe it's just that there's an hour left at work on a dull Friday afternoon. Either way, I love it when people play with their food.

More Friday Fluff, I'm not suprised by this

You Are Most Like Bill Clinton

No doubt, your legacy may be a little seedier than you'd like. But even though you've done some questionable things, you're still loved by almost all.

What Modern US President Are You Most Like?

Friday Feast

Appetizer

On a scale of 1-10 (with 10 as highest), how much do you like your own handwriting?
I hate my handwriting. As much as I love to write, I think it looks boyish and sloppy. I was never one of those girls who dotted their i's with little hearts or stars...no pretty swirly loops for me. Just mostly-readable scrawl.

Soup
Do you prefer baths or showers?
Baths, by far, unless I'm in a hurry and it's a purely cleaning exercise. I like to unwind and relax and Calgon away the day in the bath tub before I go to bed. Usually though, my peaceful bliss is interrupted by Darling Daughter and her "I have to go potty...I need a drink of water..." or the even creepier, "I want to watch you" Then again, sometimes she puts on a show. The other night after going potty, she stood on her stool and showed me her ballerina dance. Complete with bow.

Salad

What was the last bad movie you watched? I honestly can't think of the last bad movie I saw. It was probably on Lifetime or something and I was bored out of my mind. I DID see the MOST AWESOME MOVIE EVER! last night, "Across the Universe" but that's in a whole other category.

Main Course

Name something you are addicted to and describe how it affects your life.
Diet Coke. If I could hook it up intravenously, I would. I hate coffee, but love caffeine. Don't stand in the way of my Diet Coke. How it affects me? Hard to say, but I usually have lots of energy...

Dessert

Which instrument is your favorite to listen to?
Violin, fiddle, whatever you want to call it. I love it in all it's forms. Nothin' gets me like strings. Vivaldi, Bach, Mozart, down home fiddlin', it's all good.

The Return of the Cougar....

I have no idea how I missed this incredible story, but apparently there must be a black market for taxidermied cougars. Or someone near Hickman Mills High School thought it would make a lovely accent piece in their living room. Seems that the Class of '79 wants their project back and offered a reward of $2000. The cougar, who "escaped" on Friday night, was mysteriously returned on Monday. All's well that ends well, no?

Nevertheless, it got me thinking....What would possess me to steal a taxidermied mammal indigenous to North America?

Top 10 Things I Would Do With a Taxidermied Cougar:
1. Take him for a bus ride on the Metro to see what all this public transportation fuss is all about. Find out his opinions on light rail.
2. Visit the Zoo and really freak out the animals.
3. Take him to the Sprint Center to watch the Basketball Tournament. See if anybody needs an impromptu mascot.
4. Send Polaroids of him to members of the Class of '79 and design a "treasure hunt" so they can find him. Each stop is a new clue.
5. Take him to visit the Plaza Bunnies. Pose him in threatening positions.
6. Sit him in Gloria Squitiro's chair at City Hall with a sign around his neck saying, "By proclamation of the Mayor, your 'volunteer services' are no longer needed."
7. Take him tailgating on Opening Day for the Royals. See how many drunk fairweather fans I can convince that he's the new mascot.
8. Build a float for the St. Patrick's Day Parade filled with screaming, fleeing leprachauns.
9. Sit him in my front yard and wait for the neighbor's evil yappy dog to keel over when he comes over to our yard to do his business.
10. Release him into the wild of Swope Park and let him live free (or wait until someone notices him.)

Sorry, some of these are even lamer than the others, I'm still sick . . .

I'm Fine...OK?!?

I'm starting to get the feeling that I have a little black cloud hanging over me. Monday night I had a friend call me because she thought I seemed a little down on Saturday night at Handsome Hubby's cast party and she just wanted to check on me to make sure that I was ok.

Last night, Darling Daughter came up to me and asked me if I was sad.

I'm not particularly down or in a bad mood or anything. I'm just sick, not my usual perky, spunky self. Geez, does it show that much?

I'm just still fighting the Plague of '08, the house is a mess and I'm under unbelievable amounts of stress at work. But, I'm fine, really. I just have to plan a parade float for Saturday's Brookside St. Pat's Parade and organize an Easter Egg Hunt on Sunday for about 100 kids. That's all. While fighting the plague.

Super Moxie Mama, get ready!

Maybe I'll just veg out on the couch with Handsome tonight and finally watch "Across the Universe". We planned on seeing it in the theatre months ago and you can see how well that worked out.

Sigh....

Mary Jane...er, I mean, Mary Ann...

This is truly just too funny. Dana Wells, who played Mary Ann on Gilligan's Island, was busted for pot.

Seriously. If even Mary Ann is tokin' it up, maybe the Pope should reconsider his deadly sins. Shouldn't there be a "pot indulgence" or something? It's been years and years since I actually might have imbibed, but it just doesn't seem like pot is really all that big of a deal.

People can make the argument of it being a gateway drug and all of that, but 95% of the people I know who still smoke pot, including a nun, have never decided to transisition to the hard stuff. I personally don't find marijuana all that amusing, but hey, if it's your kicks, whatever.

It seems like pot has become the wussy, white bread, suburban act of rebellion. (This is not to say I wouldn't be upset if years in the future I found out my darling daughter was smoking it.) It's so passe, why don't they just legalize it and tax the hell out of it?

7 New Ways to Go to Hell

I guess the Pope really isn't all that busy these days so he had to come up with 7 new deadly sins to help the Church fit into the modern age. I guess after 1500 years, an update seemed like a good idea. I have to rewatch the movie "Seven" just to think of what the old 7 Deadlies were.

Here's an article about the "updates": Vatican Issues List of Modern-Day Seven Deadly Sins

The New Mortal Sins:
1.Genetic modification
2.Human experimentations
3.Polluting the environment
4.Social injustice
5.Causing poverty
6.Financial gluttony
7.Taking drugs

Bummer for the potheads and litter bugs of the world. Your soul will be burning eternally. (Is it coincidence or does it seem to me that pretty much all of these are squarely pointing at the United States?)

None of these things are good, but aren't these things already covered under one of 10 Commandments or one of the original 7 mortal sins? Gluttony, Greed, Lust, Wrath, Pride, Envy, or Sloth....

I've always been and always will be a Catholic, but this Pope is getting on my nerves...I'm not crazy about abortion or cloning or crack smoking, but if people don't already see them as sins, declaring them such isn't really going to change anything. Pope Benedict is just making us look even more stuck in the Middle Ages than we already seem.

One positive note, though, is maybe now that there are 7 New Deadly Sins, Hollywood can make a sequel to "Seven" and name it something like "Seven....More"

Big Girl Bed

A Rite of Passage occurred this weekend. Darling Daughter graduated from Toddler Bed to "Big Girl Bed".

A month ago, I was discussing with my mother in law the fact that DD is getting too tall/long for her toddler bed and that it was probably time to start looking at twin beds for her. Being the thrifty Mother in Law that she is, she said we could have Handsome Hubby's youngest brother's bed. He's moved out and it's just sitting there....It's not my ideal choice, but hey, it's free.

It's one of those beds that has the drawers underneath and not having a ton of room in our house, it seemed like a great idea. More storage is always a great choice.....

Until we actually put it together in our house and DD stood next to it. She needs a ladder to climb up into it. I'm not kidding. It's mid-chest tall to DD.

So now I'm worried about her falling out of bed when her menagerie of stuffed animals she insists upon forces her to the edge. I was worried she wouldn't take to it (She's slightly fearful of heights).

I was wrong. She loves it. She's like the Princess and the Pea in her elevated glory. That makes me happy. I kissed her good night, left the room, closed the door and then I remembered.

I turned to HH and asked, "Did we...um....have sex on that bed several years ago?"

HH laughed and said, "Yeah...yeah we did"

Ewwww....creepy.

Tammy Wynette I am NOT!

The Gov. of NY got caught with his pants down (or caught on a wire tap, whichever). Am I shocked in this post- "I did not have sexual relations with that woman"/nefarious foot tapping in the men's restroom era?

No. I don't even care where the "Do-Gooder Gov" dips his wick. He's busted. It might end his career, it might not. I don't really care. It's a shame that he tainted a "better than most" record with such a disgusting crash n burn.

If it happens, I don't feel sorry for him at all. I do feel sorry for his 3 teenage daughters. I can't imagine showing your face at high school after such a scandal. It would be hard to heal a cut like that with your dad. What a great role model he must be.

I feel sorry for his wife. Most likely a wonderful, dedicated woman who's stood by him thru the ups and downs of his political career. It's always the sweetest women that get cheated on. How's he going to explain why he was seeing a prostitute the night before Valentine's Day? How could you ever sleep with a guy after finding out something like that? Especially your husband of so many years? Why even try to save a marriage after that?

The one thing I don't understand is how his wife stood by him at the press conference. It's always the same scene. Bad boy politician, backed into a corner finally confesses to the public that he "acted outside of good judgement". Long suffering wife, humilitated, heart broken, glassy-eyed, somber standing in the background.

WHY DO THESE WOMEN DO THIS?! Why show the prick that cheated on you and destroyed your family any solidarity or support? Why? Why? Why?

I didn't understand it back in Bill and Monica scandal and I certainly don't understand it in the long parade of women since Hillary.

I'm waiting for the day that the wronged wife doesn't show up for the press conference, or interrupts it by calling him out. I don't think it shows "class" to stand in the background, looking down trodden but strong. It seems weak to me.

It would just take one woman to string her man up by the balls publically to start a different trend. Infidelity is so passe these days, it seems. If it's made to be such a public thing that he has to confess on live tv, why can't the apology where he is on his knees begging his wife's forgiveness be there as well? Why no follow up stories about how hard he tries to win her back? Oh, because the aftermath is supposed to be private.

Wronged women are giving themselves a bad precendence. They are expected to be quiet and somber in the wake of such betrayal. I've always been taught silence is compliance.

Why doesn't the media do a story on how morals should be upheld and the personal accountability to one's spouse should be above anything?

Wow. This is a really preachy post, but it's a sensitive subject to me. I've seen so many of my friends' personal lives destroyed by straying spouses that I can't help but get riled up by this...

Moxie Mama Salutes...Lyda Conley

There is hardly anything that I admire more in my fellow women than a healthy splash of Moxie. Being the history addict that I am, I've decided to periodically post about historical women that had it. A lot of them will probably be from Kansas City, since that's my historical specialty.

My first salute goes out to Lyda Conley. Why? She was the first Native American (Wyandotte Tribe) woman lawyer, she guarded her parents' graves with a shotgun and put a 7 generation curse on anyone who dared to defile the Huron Indian Cemetery.

In 1906, Congress approved a measure that would allow for the bodies in the cemetery to be moved in order to make way for building progress. Lyda, along with her 2 sisters, guarded the Huron Cemetery in KCK for several years, taking turns guarding it against the government. She sued the government and argued the case all the way to the Supreme Court, where they eventually repealed the sale of the cemetery based on an 1855 treaty that had promised to protect the Wyandot tribe's burial ground.

Lyda was murdered on her way home by a robber (who only got 20 cents from her purse)in 1946 and was buried in the cemetery. In 1971, the cemetery was placed on the National Register of Historical Places. I'm sure she rests in peace now.

This is a great article about her.

Zen Penny

This is possibly the coolest use of spare change I've ever seen! A massive Zen Garden made entirely of pennies at Rockerfeller Center. Awesome....too bad all those pennies would hardly be enough to buy a tank of gas! Check out Tattfoo&Ensze's blog. This is some very cool artistic photos of New York.

The Winter of My Discontent

Seriously. I'm sick of winter. We had such a brief break from it last weekend, it was just enough to get me craving Spring. Mother Nature is such a weather tease. She just needs to put out and give us some Springtime lovin'.

I thought I was conquering that horrible flu crap that was going around and just when I start feeling better, nope, I'm plunged into sickness again complete with snot and body fatigue.

Swell, just in time for Handsome Hubby's birthday. Uncontrollable coughing and nose blowing is really sexy. So much for a romantic evening.

"Happy Birthday, honey, my gift to you is the plague!"

How do you gift wrap THAT?

I survived!

Despite feeling kinda yucky this weekend (still battling the vestiges of that horrible flu/snot thing going around), I survived my mother in law's visit mostly still in tact.

Tomorrow is Handsome Hubby's birthday so his parents and Grandma came up for the weekend. (Plus they came to see his show). I love my mother in law, I actually like her better than my own mom, but she wears me out. Between her siege of my kitchen (she's a horrible cook, but insists on cooking when she visits. One of her signature dishes: shredded cabbage in orange jello), her extreme Republican opinions, and my dreaded feeling that she's judging how I'm raising Darling Daughter, I'm worn out by the time they leave.

I'm officially worn out, but it was a nice weekend anyway. HH had a call back audition for a show that's going up this summer after he had already done a performance of his current show, so he's worn out too. LATE last night he got the call that he got the part he wanted, so good for him!

Tonight is definitely a sit our butts on the couch night. Sigh...I'm so looking forward to that.