A White Woman From Waldo Speaks Out

It's been quiet around my blog for the last month, mostly because IRL I've been super-extra busy. If you've read my blog for any amount of time, you know, Constant Reader, that I'm pretty opinionated and I'm finally taking the time to voice my opinion on an increasingly crazy situation.

For my out of town groupies, here's the gist: An African-American man is suspected in up to 4 rapes in a predominately white, middle-class, Kansas City neighborhood in the last several months.

The news media is making a circus out of it.
Vigils have been held to catch the creep.
Vigilantism is making the situation worse.
Some bloggers are blaming racism.
Innocent black guys are being given the stink eye.

As a white woman who lives in the Waldo/Brookside area, and as someone who was raped (when I was 19), I'm begging the craziness to stop. This is getting increasingly ridiculous. I have several women friends that live in the area. Curious about what they thought, I asked them their opinion about the situation. We're all 20s-40s, white, women who are often home alone late at night. In my case, I'm married and my 5 yr old daughter is home with me until Handsome returns around 11 pm.

Here's the crazy thing: None of us are freaking out about the potential of being raped by this guy, but the media coverage is upsetting us. Yes, they need to catch this guy, but the media is causing a lot of fear. When you're afraid of something, stupid shit starts happening.

It's a miracle that no one was hurt when the idiot vigilante followed that innocent African-American guy all the way to KCK because he thought he'd found the rapist. I feel sorry for all of the men being given dirty, suspicious looks. I wish to publically apologize to all of you for my neighbors' stupidity.

To say this has anything to do with race is ridiculous and you're a race baiter. Stop it. You're just making it worse. I don't care if the guy is purple, yellow, green or brown, rapists come in all sizes, shapes and colors. It's an identifying factor. Deal with it. In order to catch a criminal, you need a description.

Equally, it's stupid to say that just because this is happening in one of the nicest parts of the city to live in, it's getting all this media attention. People in Waldo/Brookside don't typically follow the "Don't Snitch" credo when it comes to crime. We live in an area where people take pride in their community and if something happens, we speak up and demand that it stop. Community activism is alive in our area. We call the police and demand media attention.

What does scare me is that 70% of all rapes go unreported. If that's true, are there more victims out there? Is he just targeting Waldo or are we the only ones speaking up? Is he also targeting women east of Troost and they aren't reporting it because of the asinine "Don't Snitch" crap?

I refuse to get worked up over this situation and live in fear. My friends feel the same way. Other than double checking the door locks and outside lights at night, and making sure that my cell phone is next to me when I go to bed (before Handsome gets home), I just make sure that I'm aware of my surroundings.

These are all things that women should be doing any way.

I live in between houses with two very noisy dogs. I figure between their barks and my fierce attack cats, I'll be fine.

If you see this guy, don't approach him, call the police.

Endless Google

Ok. This is VERY cool (if you're a complete nerd like me.)

Open a new internet window. Type this in the address bar: http://www.googlegooglegooglegoogle.com/

Four Google searches, one Google window!

Amazing!

If you type the web site into one of the searches, and click it's link, you get 4 more Google searches.

Not sure if this is completely useful, but it's interesting.

What will Google think of next?

Get Me Some Lysol Disinfectant Spray

Just found out Handsome has strep.


Fabulous...


Here's hoping Darling and I don't get it.


If you need me, I'll be bathing in anti-bacterial hand gel. (I know it's mostly a placebo, but it makes me feel better).

Thinking of those in Haiti

Sending my prayers and happy thoughts out to those who are affected by the earthquake in Haiti. If you're interested in donating money to help, click here.

Good Reminder

I'm a very good theatre widow.

For the last 13 years, whether we were in class or newlyweds or new parents, I've always accepted my handsome hubby's desire for his hot, passionate mistress.

He's an actor.

I'm not.

I've learned to share him with the other passion of his life.

That sometimes means not seeing him past 6:30 pm until the next morning.

Honestly, it might be a bigger problem if his rehearsal schedule wasn't so demanding when we were first together.

I've learned to share him and so has Darling...

Nevertheless, I LOVE LOVE LOVE the great singer songwriters in America. Harry Chapin is one of my favs. (If you don't know him, he's the one who wrote/first sang "Cats in the Cradle")...

Handsome just started a new show and after having him home for a month, Moxie's feelin' lonely tonight...so...I share the story of one of the most patient career widows....


DOGTOWN BY HARRY CHAPIN


Up in Massachusetts There's a little spit of land.
The men who make the maps, yes, they call the place Cape Ann.
The men who do the fishing call it Gloucester Harbor Sound,
But the women left behind, they call the place Dogtown.

The men go out for whaling, past the breakers and the fogs.
The women stay home waiting they're protected by the dogs.
A tough old whaler woman who had seen three husbands drown,
Polled the population and she named the place Dogtown.

There's all these grey faced women in their black widow's gowns,
Living in this grave yard granite town.
Yeah, you soon learn there's many more than one way to drown;
That's while going to the dogs here in Dogtown.

And she speaks: My father was a merchant all in the Boston fief.
When my husband came and asked him for my hand.
But little did I know then that a Gloucester whaler's wife
Marries but the sea salt and the sand.

He took me up to Dogtown the day I was a bride.
We had ten days together before he left my side.
He's the first mate of a whaling ship,
the keeper of the log.
He said, "Farewell, my darling, I'm going to leave you with my dog."

And I have seen the splintered timbers of a hundred shattered hulls,
Known the silence of the granite and the screeching of the gulls,
I've heard that crazy widow Cather walk the harbor as she raves
At the endless rolling whisper of the waves.

Sitting by the fireside, the embers slowly die.
Is it a sign of weakness when a woman wants to cry?
The dog is closely watching the fire glints in his eye.
No use to go to sleep this early, no use to even try.

My blood beats like a woman's,
I've got a woman's breast and thighs.
But where am I to offer them
to the ocean or the skies?

Living with this silent dog
all the moments of my life,
He has been my only husband;
am I a widow, or his wife?

Yes, it's a Dogtown and it's a fog town,
And there's nothing around 'cept the sea pounding granite ground
And this black midnight horror of a hound.

I'm standing on this craggy cliff,
my eyes fixed on the sea.
Six months past, when his ship was due,
I'm a widow to be.
For liking this half living with the lonely and the fog,
You need the bastard of the mating of a woman and a dog.

And I have seen the splintered timbers of a hundred shattered hulls,
Known the silence of the granite and the screeching of the gulls,
I've heard that crazy widow Cather walk the harbor as she raves
At the endless rolling whisper of the waves.
At the endless rolling whisper of the waves.
At the endless rolling whisper of the waves.

Well, Where the Hell Have You Been?!

There's a little voice in my head that sounds a lot like my mother, complete with hands on the hips, angry tinge to the words, that has been chastising me for not blogging more.

Where the hell have I been?

I can't tell you. I'm not sure if it's writer's block, a boring life, or just general laziness, but my blogging has definitely slacked off in recent months. I make no excuses...it is what it is... (I hate that phrase sometimes)...

I am indeed still alive, surviving the snow-pocalypse that has covered KC in the (now dingy gray) white stuff. The holidays were weird this year because of the blizzard (we haven't had one of those since the 1800's apparently) that happened on Christmas Eve...I didn't get to join my BFF's Sicilian family for Christmas Eve, my biological family and I are barely on speaking terms (AGAIN!), and my hubby's brother moved to California. All this in one week.

The holidays sucked, quite frankly, unless you count in the factors of my daughter's complete excitement on Christmas (can't we all be 5 yrs old on Christmas morning?), the late night wrapping/bonding my hubby and I did, and the fact that his family, sadly, overcompensates for the crappy way my family treats me. I love my hubby's family and every year I learn more and more that they are my real family (one that may be dysfunctional, but still loves you no matter what, unconditionally).

So, new year, new me...right? I promise to be more faithful in posting and I promise to bring the crazy that I usually do.

That being said, here's some really random thoughts:

1. My husband is an absolute saint. In the last week he has been home 5 days with a VERY BORED 5 year old since school was cancelled, dealt with her boredom while trying to work from home, shoveled more snow than he has had to in the last 3 yrs combined, climbed on the roof to figure out a nasty leak that sealed our front door shut in ice, and has been loving and patient all through it. He deserves a Congressional Medal of Honor for this shit.

My child is so weird. She absolutely freaks out when you refer to the "collar" on her shirt. She is convinced there is another word for it. "Dogs and cats wear 'collars' Mama, not PEOPLE!!!" I've given up convincing her otherwise.

Apparently, conspiracy theory lovers, the Loch Ness Monster is dead. That sucks.

I've been snot-enhanced for the last week and a half because my brother in law brought his sick, snotty kids to our house right before New Year's. Darling caught it and now I have. Thanks a fucking lot.

I sat in a cold drafty museum all day today with absolutely no visitors in 5 hours (I don't blame any one for not wanting to get out in this.) I sent my docent home because I felt guilty she wasn't being paid to be out in this frozen tundra. Despite being completely empty, I heard a door slam and a little child's voice 2 rooms away (singing something somewhat familiar)...real enough for me to check out the house and make sure no one had accidentally wandered in the museum without me knowing. Of course there was no one (still alive) there. Freaky.
I don't like being freaked out.

It's cold here in good ol' KC. I found this website that compares your current temperature to Star Wars climates. Interesting, but who really cares? Also, if you were Luke Skywalker, how long could you survive in a TaunTaun carcass...answer here. Considering the KC Arctic Blast, this info might be handy.

Why all the Pantyhose Hate?

While reading Sinic's post about her absolutely awesome new suit (break a leg on your interview!!!!) I was exasperated that she decried the wearing of pantyhose.

While I agree with Sinic on many things, this is just one thing I don't get. It seems like none of the women my age (early 30's or younger) like wearing hose. I'm serious. Nobody I know likes them. Is there something wrong with me for loving them?

I love the fall/winter for many reasons. One of them is getting to wear knee high boots and closed-toe shoes with high heels on them. I love woolen tights and pantyhose (stockings if I'm feeling naughty!) during the winter. Summertime is a completely different story. I'd rather be barefoot, to be completely honest. But in winter, I love the warm snugness of wrapping my legs (one of my better physical traits) in nylon.



Am I old fashioned?

Maybe not...

I'll wear my hose with pride.

Post-Apocalypse: Kansas City, Here I Come!!

This is bizarre...According to the Business Insider, my good ol' hometown of Kansas City is one of 12 Places To Go If The World Goes To Hell.

According to the website:

No matter what happens to the USA, Kansas City will probably be okay. It's not at either one of the coasts, so you don't have to worry much about security or a foreign invasion or rising sea levels. It is surrounded by plenty of farmland (suitable for raising grain and livestock), and it's also at the intersection of several rail lines, so that if we experience an oil spike of unimaginable proportions, you'll still have access to transportation -- in fact, the city should thrive as a hub of activity.

Well, that's very comforting. I'd rather go to Rio...

Thank You!

To all the veterans that visit today, thank you for your service and dedication to your country. As someone who has had family fight in every major conflict since the American Revolution (except Desert Storm), please know I appreciate your sacrifices! I'm especially thinking of my cousin, John, who is in Iraq today. Please stay safe!

For anyone interested, here's a cool article about the Navajo Code Talkers from WWII.

And, yes, indeed it has been a long time since I last posted, but I am doing fine. Lots going on, including my company moving across town. But I have a window and a nice, new, big, pretty desk, so I'm trying not to be fussy about the extra 20 minutes that was added to my commute.

Shows to Haunt Your DVR

I just saw a great TV Guide-type list of some "scary" shows and movies coming up in the next week or so...something to scare everyone!!!

Enjoy!

Scary DVR List

There goes one of my favorite conspiracy theories

I am a huge fan of The Doors and one of my absolutely FAVORITE conspiracy theories (crazier the better is what I say!) is that Jim Morrison is still alive. Apparently living either in Paris or in Oregon or hell, just about anywhere. Even Ray Manzarek is convinced Jim is possibly alive and hanging out on a remote island.

Regardless, it was a highly circumstantial death...My theory is that everyone was so high, nobody really remembers what happened. I wonder how much of the historical record has been screwed up because of mind/memory-altering substances. It would be curious to research that...

Anywho, one of my favorite conspiracy theories is blown to bits and not even because he really is dead and was killed in a Wiccan handfasting ceremony, because, you know, it probably explains everything.

Jim, I guess, is, alas,really dead as can be seen in the photos below taken by a rock historian, Bret Meisner.


Eerie, huh? Maybe it's time to start new conspiracies about WHY he is haunting his own grave...

At least when I someday make my pilgrimage to leave a bottle of whiskey on his grave at the Pere Lachaise Cemetery in Paris, I know he might get some use out of it in the afterlife.

Man...now I want to crank up "Soul Kitchen" and bliss out!

No one ever said she didn't have a good imagination...

In a day and age where parents are guilt tripped into creating perfect little adults that read on a college level by the third grade, it's nice to know Darling's still got a crazy streak.

She probably gets it from her parents.


ps...note the fact she's lost her bottom two teeth. Kindergarten picture day is Monday. Awesome.

Apparently, I have a "sucker" tattoo

Yep. I probably have "Sucker!" tattooed on my ankle in invisible ink that only small, homeless animals can see. Either that or PETA knocked me out, kidnapped me and implanted me with a homing device so that every stray in a 25 mile radius can find me.

I don't know how else to explain it. Why do they always find me?

Because I'm a big, fat sucker when it comes to small cuddly things, that's why!

Here's the newest addition to the Moxie household, Nickel...

Yeah, I know. It's a crappy picture, but I'm not a wildlife photographer, ok? She's really not evil like she kind of looks like in this picture. She's very sweet.

So sweet that when I was sitting outside talking on my cell phone (because ATT can't seem to provide cell service inside) she hopped right up into my lap and started purring.

I didn't ask her to and I told her I couldn't possibly fall in love with her (too late) so she she should just am-scray. Surely she'd get the hint and be gone the next morning.

Nope.

Sitting right there on the doorstep, meowing to be let in. So I thought that surely she would be gone by the time I got home from work since we hadn't fed her or given her much attention.

Nope.

Admiring her persistance, I let Darling pet her. Darling then promptly fell in love with her as well. After consulting an exasperated Handsome, we let her in the house and discovered the cat we thought was a boy was really a girl. Which is a bummer, because I've always wanted to name a cat Nicodemus, but well, what can you do?

Nickel took immediately to the food dish and the litter box (thank GOD!!) but not our other two cats, Scaredy and Bully (not their real names).


While there hasn't been any bloodbaths (yet) there is a lot of hissing and a fair amount of caterwauling.

At 3 in the morning. Oh yes, lucky me...


ps...I fully acknowledge that I am one cat away from the dangerous "Cat Lady" territory, so please think happy, non-stray thoughts for me because while Handsome is a patient and tolerant man, he does have his limits.

TGIO!!!

Thank goodness it's October!

My favorite month!!

and...yeah...um...Wow! 2 weeks from whence I last posted. I should apologize, Constant Reader, but I'm not gonna. I'll just let my Catholic guilt steep a little.

It's been a crazy, wild autumnal ride through Moxie-topia. Everything from Darling's lost teeth, to Handsome closing and opening another show to in-law visits and stray cat adoption and planning my sister's birthday party, it's been insanity. Not to mention the generic melee that the month of October usually brings.

Still, October is my favorite month and while I haven't been blogging/commenting, I have been collecting some pretty awesome finds from around the internet that are related to my favorite time of the year.

So, I brought you some stuff, that makes up for my absence, right?


Pumpkin Bites

I'm a HUGE fan of pumpkin pie and these are just so darling! I saw them over at Bakerella and now I'm making these for my sister's birthday party on Saturday. Get the recipe! I can't wait to make these.

(Side note: I LOVE making pumpkin pie, but when my grandma-in-law comes to visit, I can't make it with nutmeg because she's allergic. Who the F*CK is allergic to NUTMEG? Nobody, that's who. I think she's making it up.)

Leafy Luminaries

Gorgeous, no?

Autumnforest is one of my favorite bloggers. These luminaries are so adorable. Nice, cheap, easy decorating that even a kindergartener can do it. Go and check out her blog this month for some really great ghost related topics. She's truly awesome!

Scary Board Games

Ok, well, you were already half way to a party anyway with the pumpkin bites and luminaries, so you might as well hit the thrift stores (or Amazon) and find one of these awesome retro-scary board games. These look like so much fun! (notable exception: Ouija board. Read here if you want my full opinion of the damn things. I don't like repeating myself.)

Trick-or-tini

Time to kick back with a Trick-or-tini or two (try saying that after having more than two), or one of these, and just enjoy Moxie's favorite month!

Even though I'm not doing the Ghost Posts this year (I really am busy, I'm not making it up!), you can still enjoy my archives and I'll probably post a few this month just for fun.

If you want to send me a ghost story, I'd be more than happy to have a guest blogger for a day!

The moxie of America

I saw this ad over at Advertising is Good For You and I just love it.

This is the can-do, moxie-filled spirit of our grandfathers. This is how our ancestors made the US great. They got off their asses and worked for it.

And, in all liklihood, they did some of it wearing Levis.

I can't believe I'm kind of inspired by a jeans ad.

Odd. Very odd.

But then again, I'm usually an optimist about the future...

Light One Candle for Mary

It was the summer of 1997 and a nun made my dreams come true by giving me 6 tickets. It was the first time Handsome's parents had met mine and we sat in a sea of pot smoke at Starlight, anticipating the music to begin...

And there they were...Peter, Paul and Mary. I couldn't believe that after 20 years of life, I was finally hearing one of the most influential musical groups of my life. My parents and I were estatic, Handsome's less so, but still enthusiastic.

It was truly one of the best concerts I've ever been to and when Mary sang "Where Have All the Flowers Gone?" there were tears in my eyes.

To say PP&M influenced my life would be an understatement. I remember being in 2nd grade and picking dandylions out in right field of my softball game and not understanding why my dad was upset that I wasn't following the game...

I remember when I was 10 I decided I would walk up the aisle at my wedding to "The Wedding Song" (and I did!)

I remember being in high school and their music took on such a different meaning as I was awakened to social justice issues.

I remember the first time I sang "Puff the Magic Dragon" to Darling and how she giggled.

There are SO many memories and reasons I would like to honor her for. Her music was such a part of my life that it seems amazing that the songs are now done.

I'm not one to get all broken up over celebrity deaths. It's not my thing, but I've only been upset this much on the days that Mother Theresa, Pope John Paul, George Harrison and John Denver died. All very influential famous figures in my life. This one is just so sad...

Rest in peace, Mary Travers. Thank you for everything.

These make me want to throw a party

Wow! I saw these and thought they were a great, cheap idea for a really awesome dinner party.

For short-term decorating, use sturdy apples like Red Delicious or Granny Smith to craft a cute bud vase. Simply core an apple as deep as you can, using a knife or a screwdriver. Keep your handiwork hydrated and fresh by spraying the inside and edges of the fruit with a mixture of water and lemon juice. Top with one large flower, or try a small bunch. Show off these delicious creations on a mantel, windowsill or atop a rectangular plate on the dining room table when entertaining.

Here's some other ideas that I saw, but I can't get past the apples right now...

Historically, reading...

I've been on a reading jag. (As a result my DVR is almost 75% full. Yikes!) This happens from time to time and is usually because I've started a really fabulous book. While I read almost anything under the sun, I've hit on a couple of really great historical novels lately...neither are new releases, but they're new to me, so there you go. For really great book reviews, go visit Heather J. at Age 30+: A Lifetime of Books.

In the Presence of Mine Enemies
~by Harry Turtledove

The basic premise is "What if the Nazis won the war?" Not a unique pastiche, many people have played this "What if" game. Turtledove does it splendidly though. You follow the members of a secretly Jewish family, the Gimpels, and their Jewish and non-Jewish friends as they navigate the changes that follow a new Fuhrer being named to the head of the German Empire.

What I liked:
I liked Turtledove's imagination concerning how the world would be different at the beginning of the 21st Century. At times it was eerily chilling: After the 3rd World War in which the Nazis used nuclear bombs on Washington, DC and Philadelphia, Omaha became the new capital, the destroyed Liberty Bell was in Berlin on display, but sealed to protect from radiation.

I also liked the different perspectives through which Turtledove tells his story. From children in school, to Heinrich and Walther who work in the heart of the Reich, to an outspoken English professor, Susanna, the secret story of Jews in this strange new world is fascinating and at times heart-wrenching.

What I didn't like:
Very little. I thought at times Turtledove's writing mechanics were a bit elementary and maybe a bit awkward, and I didn't like the longer, somewhat laborious descriptions of playing bridge with their Aryan friends. I also was waiting for deeper emotional conflict/turmoil between the leading characters, but didn't feel like it ever came even after certain members of the family were arrested by the Nazis. But, overall, it was worth my time to read through to the end.

The Many Lives & Secret Sorrows of Josephine B.
~by Susan Gulland

A friend handed me this book and said, "You HAVE to read this! You'll love it!" knowing that I am a big fan of books such as The Emancipator's Wife: A Novel of Mary Todd Lincoln. I sat down one evening after Darling went to bed and thought "I'll just read a few pages and see"...Three hours later I look up at the clock and realize I'm half way through the book. As the first in a series of three books, The Many Lives takes the reader on a fascinating journey through the life of Josephine (Rose) de Beauharnais from her birth as Marie-Josephe-Rose Tascher in Martinique on a sugar plantation through the wild days of her unhappy first marriage and The Reign of Terror to the very beginning of her fateful relationship with Napoleon Bonaparte.

What I liked:
I loved this book! I know a pretty fair amount of French Revolution history, but I never knew much about Josephine Bonaparte before her marriage to Napoleon. The story is told through "diary entries" and "letters" and since it is about a historical figure, I appreciate that they were dated so I could tie them to a bigger perspective. I have no idea if it was true or not, but I found the prediction from a slave that she would be unhappily married, would then be widowed, and would then become queen really interesting. The novel is supposed to be relatively historically accurate and that's always a bonus for me. Now I just need to get the other two books!!

What I didn't like:
Um. Not much. I really enjoyed the voice that the character of Josephine had and I appreciate that it's not just a bodice ripper in an historical setting, but I wish it revealed a little more of the actions of her first husband, Alexandre, who played a pretty big role in the early Revolution. Also, at times, I feel as if the book has pacing issues. While it is undoubtedly a quick read, sometimes the story jumps ahead really quickly and you feel as if you might have missed something that happened in between and you wonder what the writer left out. Also, and I'm not sure if it can be helped since the story is told in diary form, I wonder whether the casual reader understands exactly what is going on during certain periods of the French Revolution. Any way around it, I'm eager to read the other two books.

I really enjoyed these books and I would encourage you to check them out. If you have any good historical fiction suggestions, send 'em my way!

I miss her so much today...

Please go read this first...

I dreamt about her last night...

I don't remember everything, but I do remember that in my dream she held my face in her hands and said "I love you, doll baby". Just like she did a thousand times in real life.

My grandma was the original Moxie Mama. Her Brooklyn sass inspired me so much to be a bold, brave woman. I just wish I could hug her one more time.

I hate 9/11.

I hate spending the day with tears in my eyes, even though it's been 8 years.

Well, what does she do with them?

Darling is on the precipice of losing her very first tooth and I have officially entered the Land Of I Don't Know...

After Handsome and I explained how the whole Tooth Fairy thing worked, and after being initially concerned about "squishing her under my pillow on accident", Darling hit us with a stumper:

What does the Tooth Fairy do with the teeth?

I really have no idea.

And the more I thought about it, the creepier the whole notion of a Tooth Fairy became. Some fairy that sneaks into your room while you're asleep to take your teeth for unknown reasons and to leave you a couple of bucks for them.

I guess I better come up with some decent logic of why she wants them before that first little incisor falls...