Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Day 3: Something I Have to Forgive Myself For . . .

Wow. This is a very hard one. There are so many things that I need to forgive myself for. Probably the biggest is that I need to forgive myself for not being a perfect mother. Or even a better mother than I am.

I love Darling with my whole heart, but sometimes I feel that I'm a horrible mother. I know that lots of mothers feel this way, but because of my own relationship with my mother (VERY strict) I feel like I'm spastically over-indulgent/over-strict.

I don't feel like I have a good balance of when to be good time play around Mama and when to be strict, you have to do this for your own good Mama.

I need to forgive myself because it doesn't matter. I'm involved in her life and am not a "Go watch TV" kind of parent. We have a good relationship (even though she'll always pick Daddy over me...she's a definite Daddy's Girl) and we love each other desperately. I am able to recognize when I need to let up on the reins and most of the time when I need to pull them in.

So, you know what? I forgive myself (kind of almost).


kcmeesha said...

the quality of parenting is judged later on. too many kids who have "perfect" parents end up dead, junkies, weirdos, etc. I don't do anything special to be a better parent, I always treat my kid as equal, don't shield her or lie to her about things and hope she will be well-adjusted and be able to make good decisions in life. we'll see if I am right.
Oh, and I am glad you are blogging again, although I am not a fan of compelled blogging, in your case, whatever it takes.