Friday, July 31, 2009

RetroGag: Skinless Weiners and MORE!!!

I realized that it's been a long time since I've ruined someone's lunch with my last RetroGag posting...Leave it to Moxie, I'll help you out with your diet.

First up is this post from The Good Ol' Days. I admit I am really inmature and skinless weiners made me giggle. That and the fact that the "Good Fairy" brought the good children these skinless wonders. That little old lady is really the witch from Hansel and Gretl in disguise. I'm sure of it.

See what I mean?

Next up, weiners in a "sack o' sauce". Don't worry, it's mild barbecue sauce...As someone from Kansas City, the nexus of all barbecue in the universe, I'm just letting you know that it might swim in a "sack of sauce" but that does not make it barbecue. Plus, I've always had an aversion to meat that comes in a can. I just can't do it. I also think those hot dogs look to be oddly "glistening". This too creeps me out a bit. I have no doubt why this product in no longer on the market.

Another fantastic RetroGag from my internet voyages comes to us from one of my very favorite bloggers, Thrift Shop Romantic.

Sweet Baby Jesus, what IS this?!

Apparently it's supposed to be an oyster/rice ring. I'm going to have nightmares about this one. Click thru and see the rest of the rice abominations and I promise you won't have to eat dinner tonight.

And finally, if you're worried about what to make for your next cocktail party, try this fabulous recipe from Woman's Day 1955 (thanks, Weird Recipe Finds).

Oh yes, my friends, it's our good friend, Jell-O, horribly defiled once again. This time, it's unflavored and mixed with "French" dressing.

I'm going to say this only once. Hot dogs should not be eaten cold. That's disgusting. They should also not be encased in French dressing flavored Jell-O. I know I shouldn't have to say these things, but apparently our foremothers didn't know any better in their gellatin-crazed, mid-century days.

I have a few more finds, but I can't stomach to put them up for you today, so I'll save them for next week.

Have a great weekend filled with delicious foods that in no way resemble what you just saw....and please remember, you cannot hold me responsible if you decide to actually try to make and consume any of the RetroGag recipes. (Plus, I hate saying I told you so.)

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

My Little Poopy?

Hypothetical here...if a My Little Pony falls into the toilet, can it then be technically classified as a My Little Poopy?

I'm so glad this happened on my less-squeamish hubby's watch and not mine.

Monday, July 27, 2009

The Case of the Mysterious Daguerreotype

It was a BUSY weekend, but I had a lot of fun. I saw a great play on Saturday night during an actual, honest to goodness date night with Handsome. These are rare and far between, so it was nice to spend time together.

It was also my weekend at the museum I work for 2 weekends a month. My job mostly consists of "being in charge" and "running things" and bossing around the little old lady volunteers, but this weekend I had a "project".

Someone donated a daguerreotype of who she thought was the original owners of the museum. It absolutely wasn't them, as most anyone could tell at first glance, but it did pose a very intriguing history mystery. (Sorry for no picture, but daguerreotypes don't photograph very well and these are sort of faded to begin with.)

So I got to do some research. Which I love to do. (I'm a nerd, I fully admit it!) My only real clue in trying to figure out the identities of the man and woman in the daguerreotype was found in the bottom of the corner of the print. "E. Jacobs N.O" was the clue.

On a hunch, I figured N.O. was New Orleans, since many photographers, even until late 20th Century, would mark their photos with their name and city.

A little google searching turned up Edward Jacobs, one of the pioneering daguerreotypists in the US.

It was fun researching the daguerroptypes for a few different reasons. First, I enjoy a challenge. Second, a few years ago I read "Feast of All Saints" by Anne Rice. (Surprisingly, it has nothing to do with vampires)It does have to do with the gens de couleur libre, or Free People of Color who have a fascinating, mostly unknown, history in New Orleans all their own.

In the book, one of the young men, Marcel, decides to become a daguerroytpist and the book revolves around his life and the "white" Southern planter father who foresakes him, his mother, sister and their dreams. If you've never read it, and you like historical fiction, it's a must read, even if you aren't an Anne Rice fan.

Unfortunately, I'm pretty sure my daguerrotype search is at a dead end. The two rather striking man and woman in my prints will probably remain unknown. All I know is they are allegedly from the family of the museum's past, they were upperclass, and judging by their clothes and the dates of Jacob's daguerroptype career, the year was between 1844 and 1861.

But their names are probably lost...which I find just as sad as the markers in cemeteries that fall into disrepair because no one is left to care for them. They probably lived interesting lives, they were young...the Civil War was about to start...their story may never be told...

Thursday, July 23, 2009

Well, it's the thought that counts, I guess

Last night Darling did NOT want to go to bed despite the 15, 10 and 5 minute warning that bedtime was approaching.

The tantrum that ensued was of biblical proportions.

I'm talking F7 tornado, a 6 on the Tantrum Richter scale.

It was a beautiful storm in the ferocity one small, almost 5 yr old was able to produce.

The cats scurried away to hide, I stayed out of arms length and I'm sure the neighbors thought I was skinning her alive.

When she finally calmed down, we began our nightly prayers. We always start by telling God what things we were thankful for that day.

Little Miss McGrumpypants glares over at me and says, "I'm thankful for my BAD. MEAN. Mom"

Sigh. At least bad parenting is in vogue...

Monday, July 20, 2009

But does it turn your lips orange?

Truly, this is bizzare.

I enjoy the occasional Cheeto as much as the next gal, but seriously? Lip balm? Gross...but oddly intriguing...

Friday, July 17, 2009

The Secret of Tinkerbell

We're taking Darling to see Peter Pan (some of our friends are in it) tomorrow night at a local community theater. She's very excited...

Daddy's an actor, so, she's a real theatre kid, minus the EMO and teenage angst. Then again, she's almost 5, so she still has time, I guess.

She LOVES going to shows, mostly I think because that's something that grown ups do and partly because she is the most imaginative kid I've ever met.

The best part of going to see Peter Pan is the fact that I told her that Tinkerbell is REALLY going to fly with Peter, Wendy, John and Michael.

She's dubious, to say the least.

Then I showed her Facebook pictures of the show that depicted Tinkerbell swirling magically all around the stage. She's in now hook, line and sinker. She keeps asking how they can really fly and I explain about Tinkerbell's magic dust, and then we discuss the chemical properties of it (it's made up of 3 parts magic and 1 part glitter).

Maybe it seems cruel to lie to her about the flying, but children are innocent and believe in magic for such a short time in their lives. Can't I kind of enjoy it while it lasts? Even if she finds out about the wires and harnesses, who cares? It's still amazing and magical that such a thin "rope" could hold up a person.

Darling is head over heels in the unicorn and fairies phase of her childhood. (Thank God it's not Hannah Montana yet.) She wants to wear her Tinkerbell wings tomorrow night and I think I'm going to let her. She's excited that she might get to say "Hi" to her after the show. (Since Tinkerbell is a friend of my hubby's I think there's a pretty good chance.)

No one ever said my hubby and I were "normal" parents, but at least we're having fun. I doubt if we scar her childhood with a little magic...

Hope you have a great weekend full of something magical to you!

Free AK-47 comes standard...

As a marketing professional, I'll admit that some campaigns are better than other campaigns.

Over at Advertising Is Good For You, I saw this ad for Max Motors in Butler, MO.

Buy a truck get a free AK-47?!?!

What happened to the innocent days of Ray Adams' "free diamond necklace with a test drive"?

I don't think that I have ever seen a more irresponsible promotion in my entire life. Click thru to Max's website to check out the nifty gun-totin' graphic.

This idiot needs to win a Clio for "Shitiest Advertising Idea Ever Created"

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Your last chance for a unicorn

Oh yeah, today's the last day you can show your Moxie love and vote for me as the best Parent's Pick blog in KC. I doubt if I'll win, but it never hurts to ask. Remember, there are unicorns that poop Skittles on the line if I do win...

Also, check this out: 101 Muppets of Sesame Street. It's a cool roll over the Muppet for their bio and when they started on the show. Snuffy always cheers me up.

Check this out if you have a dirty computer screen. Kind of gross, but extremely helpful.

And, of course...these are some cool pieces of art that were done completely using a typewriter. This blows my mind and is three shades beyond perfectly amazing!

Where the hell have you been?!

Sorry for the unannounced blog-cation I took, but things have been kind of heavy the last 2 weeks. Work is crazy and friends and family are full of drama. Sometimes it happens...

What's worst of all is I'm a fretter. I worry. I do it really well and stuff has come up in the last few weeks that truly accentuates this character trait in me.

First off, Handsome's sister moved to California to support her boyfriend as he goes through video game design school. I'm all for following your dreams, but boyfriend doesn't exactly have the strongest work ethic. He'd rather smoke pot than follow through with a dream. And really, video game design? Does that sound as economically realistic to you as it does to me?

I feel like a bitch for thinking that way, but I worry for Handsome's sister. She just graduated with a teaching degree and neither of them have jobs. They moved to California, which just so happens to be completely broke. They are renting a room from a guy they met on Craigslist, but never met in person. (See, it just keeps getting better and better).

Our friend group is divided down the middle of whether she'll come back with her heart broken...

Worse than that, my own sister was just diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis. She'll be 25 in a few weeks and my beautiful, talented, intelligent sister is having to deal with a very tough disease. She wanted to be a nurse for as long as I can remember and she graduated third in her nursing class. She's been an oncology nurse for the last 2+ years and has loved it.

It really feels unfair that she may not be able to continue that career that helps so many people. She'll be partially protected under the Americans with Disabilities Act, but they will probably take her off of floor rotations, which sucks since patient care is what she loves the most. But, if you have a disease where you randomly fall down (which she does), lifting sick patients is not a good thing. Plus, the medication they want her to go on is around $3k a month. She doesn't even make that much.

Sigh...I told you...heavy, heavy stuff.