New Weekly Feature: Retro Gag!

That's right, Constant Reader! Each week I'll scour the Internet and the 1970's cookbooks that I generously inherited from my grandmothers and other well-meaning little old ladies for the most gag-tastic recipes I can find.

As the mother of a picky eater, I'm constantly scouring recipes. I'm a recipe addict. I admit it. I love trying new recipes and Darling's tastes are a constantly moving target. I also have a fascination with Mad Men era advertising (The Golden Age of Advertising, if you will)

This week, as an homage to my lost Kool-Aid Gels, I bring you:

Things You Should NEVER mix with Jell-O....

I have never understood the 1950's and '60's housewife's fascination with Jello molds. I'm not talking mixing in a little Fruit Cocktail with your Jell-O, I'm talking about the all out everything and the kitchen sink approach to Jell-O.

Once my mother in law mixed shredded carrots and cabbage in orange Jell-O. I thought it was just par for the hideous course of her usual cooking.

Then I found these little gems. As a general rule, just because it CAN be suspended in Jell-O does NOT mean it SHOULD be suspended in Jell-O.

Olive's Technicolor Yak...

That's right. This lovely little snack has olives, onion, pepper, celery and VELVEETA suspended in light, refreshing lime flavored Jell-O. Serve that one to your kids and see what Wally and the Beaver have to say...

Garden Salad Ring

MMMM...Lemon Jell-O, eggs, cabbage, chives and radishes. I can't wait for seconds, Mom! This recipe is really keen!

"Because It's So Hard To Get Them to Eat Their Lima Beans and This Will Do the Trick" Mold

I'd personally throw this back at my mother. I have no words. Worcestershire and lima beans. Shudder.

Summer Picnic Food Poisoning De-Lite

I love potato salad in all of it's glorious forms, but this is one toke over the line for me. Cucumber, pepper, pimento and our friend Lemon Jell-O? No way in hell.

So there you have it. Do you like Retro Gag? Should I never do it again?

All of these little gems were scragged from the VERY awesome retro advertising site: Do What Now? Jim Dunn is a commentary genius and shares my nerd-tastic love of all arcane ads and reference to pop culture gone by.

Stay tuned (if your stomach can handle it.) Next week I'm either going to take on Betty Crocker circa 1970 (you saucy minx) or share some recipes from a cookbook circa 1850. We'll just have to see.

I would like to place my caveat here at the end that if you should dare try one of these recipes, you cannot hold me liable. Cook at your own risk. If you need great recipes, check out Dana, The Homesteading Housewife. Her recipes are always Moxie approved.