Friday, February 27, 2009

Retro Gag: Hot N Sour Shake Anyone?

This has been a crazy week in Mox-topia, so I wasn't able to dig through my personal retro-cookbook collection, but I did scour the Internet for even more fabulously horrid things you shouldn't feed your family.

First up (because I'm still having Jell-O issues):

Jellied Bouillon with Frankfurters

(originally posted by slash food from "500 Snacks: Bright Ideas for Entertaining (1941), Culinary Arts Institute"

What's most horrifying about this is the fact that my daughter LOVES hot dogs almost as much as her mother. She, however, prefers them cold, right out of the package. I'm guessing my picky eater would eat this. And that truly frightens me. Someone needs to explain to me WHY you should put hard-boiled eggs in Jell-O. I just don't get it.And I'm sorry, I don't want hot dogs with glamour. It's precocious.

Hot & Sour Shake

1. You need hot peppers (what kind doesn't matter), half a dozen cups of lemon juice, 1/2 a cup of hot sauce, a scoop of vanilla ice cream, and a cup of milk.

2. Chop hot peppers before putting in blender.

3. Put ingredients in blender until smooth.


Should a milkshake really be spicy? I don't think so. Peppers and ice cream DON'T mix.

Sardine Eggs Recipe
Sardine Eggs Recipe with Boiled Eggs, Tin Sardines, Mayonnaise, Parsley & Anchovies.
6 Hard Boiled Eggs
1 Small Tin Sardines
2 tablespoons Mayonnaise
Parsley & Anchovies to garnish

Cut the Eggs in half and remove the Egg Yolks. Put the Egg Yolks through a fine sieve into a large bowl. Mash the Sardines well, and mix into the Egg Yolks with the Mayonnaise. Season to taste. Put the mixture into a piping bag with a rose nozzle. Pipe he mixture into the Egg Whites. Garnish each with a sprig of Parsley and Anchovy. Serves 6.
(Based on the Sardine Eggs recipe in: Simple Recipes by Joanna Percival (Albany Books / Debenhams Books 1978).

Sardines and Anchovies? No thank you. I only made the mistake of ordering a Caesar Salad once without specifying no dead fish on top. It was a horrifying experience and I haven't quite recovered.

Ketchup Macaroons

This is a recipe you simply have to see ALL the visuals on, but come right back.

Done? Ok. I know, right? UGH!

Cornichons(pickles, I googled it) and Ketchup do NOT belong in cookie form. This is not a true Retro-Recipe, but it's still pretty horrifying. The brightness of the red is most appalling.

I'm pretty sure this cookie was created simply because Europeans (I'm looking at you, FRANCE) sneer at our adorable American preference for putting ketchup on everything. Being from Kansas City, I've often wondered how Gates sauce would taste on chocolate cake, but that doesn't really matter does it? I was pregnant and that doesn't count.

So, anyway, I've ruined your appetite for the rest of the day. I'm sorry. Next week I'll really dig deep and bring you something fabulously horrid!


kcmeesha said...

recipe #1 looks like poor men's version of a dish my mom makes: cook a chicken (rooster is good) or meat or both (ham hocks are traditional)until it falls apart,add garlic and spices (not much), then strain and pour broth and meat into plates and let it set.some people add gelatin to help it set, depends on the meat. couple of slices of boiled egg per plate. it's actually very good, not my favorite but still very good.

Green-Eyed Momster said...

Oh my gosh! I'm going to show my family those pictures because they complain about my cooking! What a great post! Maybe I should try some of those recipes!!


Beautiful Mess said...

EEEEWWWW I just threw up a little in my mouth.

Anonymous said...

I tried making the Jellied Bouillon with Frankfurters. It was awful. :)

Anonymous said...

Well you don't seem to know very much about the food of any culture other than you own, huh? The jellied bouillon dish is a take on a classic aspic german dish, that is best made with meats like sauerbraten. Like headcheese, its certainly an acquired taste, I'll give you that but its a solid dish when done right.

And, paging Carly SImon for that last one but those macaroons have nothing to do with the french mocking American tastes. I know it's shocking to hear but the world doesn't revolve around you people. Like cupcakes and empanadas have taken over the NY culinary scene in the past, macaroons became the "it" thing for French pastry chefs to manipulate and re-design. It raged into a very cut-throat and interesting competition.

You've got two dishes with very dense and interesting histories here, too bad you didn't bother to learn anything about them.

MoxieMamaKC said...

Sorry, seeker's_treasure, whoever you may be, but it's my blog and if I think it looks disgusting and not something I would ever eat, I shall post it as such regardless of it's historical and/or pastry trendy importance.

My readers are free to attempt whatever they like. I just find these recipes absurd.

And, as someone with a degree in history, I'll agree the world doesn't revolve around the United States, but I think the world is a better place with us in it. You can argue that all you like, but it doesn't change the facts.

Without the US, French pastry chefs would be eating LOTS of German jellied bouillon dishes and frosting little swastikas on their maccaroons.