Guess what I just found out?
Opening Day for the Royals is on Good Friday this year.
You probably don't care if:
1. You don't like baseball and/or the Royals
2. You're not Catholic and don't understand the implications of this horror
3. You don't know what this has to do with hot dogs
I'll spell it out for you...
I'm a relatively somewhat practicing Catholic. One of the small things I can do as a sacrifice for Jesus' sacrifice is not eat meat for 6 Fridays of the year. I'm good at this. I can do it.
I'm also a rabid baseball fan. I don't care how much the Royals suck, Opening Day is a High Holy Day of Awesomeness in my family. My dad used to let us play hooky every year for Opening Day. My grandfather built a baseball field in the middle of his cornfield in the 1950's (Whatever, Kevin Costner!). I played for my college softball team. We sort of take baseball seriously.
Going to a baseball game = eating at least one or more hot dogs. I can't watch MLB without eating a hot dog. I simply can not do this. I have an unhealthy obsession with hot dogs from stadiums/vendor carts. I can't say no.
So, what am I going to do?! I know I'm going to the game (Thank you generous advertising outlets for giving me tickets since I spend so much money with you.)
Do I sin and have one anyway? It is my God-given, American right to enjoy hot dogs at a baseball game...
Do I call Bishop Finn and beg for a dispensation (Dude, he should already be all over this! If the Irish get it for St. Pat's, Royals fans should get it for Opening Day.)?
I can't eat meat on Good Friday of all days. That's the one day of the year (the day Jesus died on the cross for my atheist/Jewish/other non-Christian/heathen readers)Catholics simply cannot screw up on. I'd probably get struck by a bolt of lightning or something if I tried it.
Will it be a sin if I cheer for Mustard, Ketchup or Relish in the Hot Dog Race?
Do I duck if Slugger shoots a hot dog towards me?
How could the Royals screw up the one enjoyable day of fanhood (the only day they have a real chance of being above .500)?
The only good news?
God never said anything about beer.
The promise of overpriced beer and nachos help ease this pain...
God bless beer and fake cheese.
Monday, February 16, 2009
Posted by MoxieMamaKC at 9:23 PM