Sunday, January 27, 2008

Mama Moment


I'm bringing this one over from my MySpace blog. I like it.

*Warning: If you are grossed out by bodily functions of 3 year olds, or the various words for them, stop here.*

So, Darling Daughter (DD) was in the bath tub a couple of nights ago and Handsome Hubby (HH) and I went in for the clean 'n' rinse portion of the "Bathtime Funtime" show. (Believe me, it's a three ring circus of a good time at our house.)

All of a sudden, DD made bubbles in the tub, if you know what I mean.

Being the immature people that we are, HH and I quietly chuckle. DD grins and says, "I farted!" Trying to not laugh completely out loud, I told her, "No, you tooted. Little girls don't fart, they toot." She looked at me very sternly and said, "No, Mama, I farted." (This would be when HH and I both totally lost it and gave way to complete laughter.)

No amount of argument would get her to sway in her choice of words. So much for raising a perfect little lady. I've failed and she's only 3. sigh.

When we were growing up, my siblings and I couldn't say fart, we could only say toot. My parents found the f word too crass. (Which I agree, but even so, toot is pretty ridiculous, I admit.)

While I admire her determination, I'm pretty sure she's just stubborn. Even after relating this story to her Favorite Uncle, she declared her gas as a fart, not a toot.

It's not that I'm all that prim and proper when it comes to most manners, but having that come out of her mouth was a bit grating on my somewhat decent sense of decorum. Maybe I'm making it a bigger deal than it needs to be.

Maybe it's just because I hate the word "fart". It's a horrible word that should be banned from the English language along with moist, fecal, shampoo (I'm washing my hair with something that ends in poo?!?), and select other icky words I'm blocking from my mind at the current moment.

I guess there's worse things for her to say. But hopefully she'll be 13 by the time we have to deal with that. Why isn't this issue addressed in the Dr. Spock (or any other child guru) manual? We've already had the "good words and bad words" talk (thanks a whole lot, Naughty Uncle, for the vocabulary lesson!) but fart is one she just won't budge on. Why? I don't know. I give up on this one for now.

Now if I could just figure out why she's been dancing around the house for the last week or so singing, "Happy Kwaanza", I'd be happy. Not that I'm anti-Kwaanza or anything, because I actually think it's a pretty cool celebration, but I just don't know where she learned about it. It's not tv, the baby sitter or her aunts and uncles....I guess it's just one more mystery of parenthood.