Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Biting my tongue and biding my time...


So, MIL is in town. I'm really, really grateful that she is here for the week to watch Darling in that No Man's Land of Vacation between summer camp and the first day of school.

Darling's 5th Birthday is also on Saturday so she's been helping us out a lot to get ready. Darling wanted a Tinkerbell birthday party so part of the fun is decorating fairy wings (girls) and pirate chests (boys). This requires a lot of homemade prep work for 16 pairs of wings and 10 cardboard boxes transformed into pirate chests. A LOT of work because I apparently enjoy doing things the hard way and my alpha-craft mom thing emerged.

Have I mentioned that I'm really f'in' grateful for my MIL?

Because I am.

Truly...

What is driving me nuts is HER.

I'm going to rephrase that...

SHE'S DRIVING ME BAT SHIT CRAZY!!!!

She's only been here 3 days and has made it clear that:

1. I can't cook so she makes dinner. Which I find rather amusing because I'VE certainly never mixed raw cabbage, carrots and Jell-O together nor have I served noodles and veggies so over-cooked they turn to tasteless mush.

2. I'm incapable of brushing my daughter's hair. I don't brush her thin, fine, curly-if-it-isn't-brushed-when-wet hair after bathtime. Hello! Split ends!! I won't budge on this. My hair is the same way and I've survived 32.5 years relatively split end free.

3. I am completely unreasonable when it comes to marital discussions. My grandparents had a pretty good rule: It's not your marriage, keep your mouth shut and let them work it out. It's worked well in family relationships for over 33 years. My parents employ this rule as well. My MIL did not get the memo. Handsome and I had differing opinions on a detail of the upcoming party. As oldest children, we sometimes don't want to budge. I don't need MIL to tell me her son is completely right (he's not) and I'm an idiot. Handsome and I have been working out details for almost 13 years without her help. None is needed now.



So, please, dearest Constant Reader, pray for me that I don't stick a fairy wand where it doesn't belong between now and Saturday?

thx bai...

11 comments:

Nuke said...

You can sharpen a wand into a shiv if necessary. I'm just saying, Tink would know. Tink don't play around.

TheSingleGirl said...

#3 is one of the smartest things that I've ever read.

Too bad one couldn't start an ugly rumor about her being some new kind of human pinata at the party...

*rubs hands together and plots evil on your behalf*

;D

Green-Eyed Momster said...

You need to whip up some retro gag recipes for her. Go now! And buy some Spam, some jello, some hot dogs and some spaghetti!! He he he. Then stick the uncooked spaghetti in the weiners and serve that up for dinner tonight!!

Please take a picture of her expression. I'm sure that picture will be worth a million dollars!

Hugs!!

The Muser (aka Beautiful Mama) said...

What a great post! And I love the image of the inappropriate and feisty wand shoved where the sun don't shine...Tinker Bell gone bad! Best of luck.

Hyperblogal said...

Mixed emotions is watching your ML go over the cliff in your new car.

alissa said...

omg im so thinking of you. sending you positive energy.
because i would go insane.

Sarah Brown said...

Thanks for my morning laugh!!!=)

Since ML doesn't do it as it should be done you might want to enter my book contest and have this ready at your home in case you ever need to leave the kiddos with her for very long=)

http://sarahbrownsfavoritethings.blogspot.com/2009/08/by-book-how-to-take-care-of-my-kids.html


Stopping by from SITS

The Lil Bee said...

Oh boy. Yikes and wow. I am sending you serenity across the miles, MM. Hang in there. And, hey, if she wants to run the show, then kick your feet up and act like a guest in your own home! Could be kinda fun actually;)

bluecottonmemory said...

I'd love to see how you made the wings and pirate chests! It sounds so great!

I so want my DIL to love me! I'll take your suggestions to heart! I just want to love and support her and him! I totally understand they'll do things differently, eat differently, decorate differently, raise their kids differently, handle problems differently. I love how they do so much now!

Be strong and courageous! I love the Tinkerbell picture--it really captures the mood I know you feel!

Midtown Miscreant said...

cabbage and carrots in jello is a favorite among prison cooks, srsly. I say shank your MIL.

Generic Viagra said...

I remember that always that my parents had problems they try to be so calm and quiet and we didn't asked about anything because we never realized that they were fighting but I've been in many occasions that I've had to bite my tongue. Viagra Online Viagra