Friday, June 12, 2009

Pettiness, Party of One

I want to warn you, Constant Reader, that I fully acknowledge this is a completely petty, and somewhat bitchy post. Read at your own discretion...

Handsome and I have a friend couple that we see on occasion. Mostly at shows and parties and the like, but we have gone out on a few joint couple excursions (usually when I have extra tickets to stuff.) We're not BFF's, more like Party Pals (when we see you, it's cool, if not, meh, not important.) but still, you know, friendly-ish. We both have only one daughter (theirs is a year or so younger than Darling.)

About a month ago, I let Handsome's siblings use our lawn for a garage sale. I decided it was probably time to let go of some of her baby clothes and other assorted unneeded baby paraphernalia. It was also kind of a test for me of whether or not I was ready to have another baby or if we're done. This has been a huge issue for us in the last 6 months or so and I still don't know which way we're going to go.

Needless to say, sorting through baby stuff/sweet memories, made me all weepy and nostalgic (but still undecided). I posted "Moxie is sorting through Darling's baby clothes for tomorrow's garage sale and bawling like a baby" as my Facebook status. Needless to say, that was stupid and I got comment pounced by 6 different people wondering if I was done having kids.

Wife of Friend Couple (WoFC) actually sent me a message wondering if we were done and said that they were struggling with the decision as well. She asked for my insight on why I made whatever choice I had in regards to the future of our family.

I promptly sent her back a big long reply of "We're not sure yet" and spelled out all the issues we were struggling with in the decision. At the end I wished her the best of luck and asked her what she thought and did my response help?

I waited for her reply.

And waited.

Earlier this week I was cleaning up some stuff I could delete in my Facebook inbox and found the message. I thought it was weird she never replied to me and wondered if she even got it. Facebook has been kind of messed up lately and apparently I haven't received at least 2 messages (that I know of) that people have sent me. I worried she thought I was rude and didn't answer her, so a few days ago I sent her a message and asked if she had gotten my first one. (I know that was silly, but that's just how I am)

I still haven't gotten a response and, ya know, I'm getting rather irritated.

We opened an emotional Mama door by her asking such a personal question, which I answered fully and truthfully. You shouldn't just ignore someone's emotional gut spilling.

You shouldn't ask a question without acknowledging the answer.

There was nothing in the email that could be considered offensive to her, and it's just common courtesy to answer back or at least say "Thanks for sharing your thoughts and insight".

I'm being completely irrational and petty, but good manners never go out of style.

I feel like she's purposely ignoring my second email and that just irritates me further. What's worse is she's the type that would get REALLY pissed off if I had done the same to her and she would make a bigger issue out of it. Beyond this little rant, I'll be fine.

Why am I even sharing this petty, irksome, stupid little irritation with you?

I have no idea.

But it feels lovely to rant...



Hyperblogal said...

My decider in most similar situations is "who owns the problem" . In this case it is her. She did not respond either time to your best faith efforts at dialogue. Therefore the failing is hers 100%. She owns the problem and you are officially done with it.

Unknown said...

This is why blogging is cheaper than therapy. I am sure writing about it made you feel better.

As for a response... I am questioning your sanity on wanting a reply. I think it might be better if she does not send anything back instead of getting judgmental or high and mighty and bla, bla, bla. This one is way to personal, but some reason, most people have opinions.

Kansas Sity Sinic said...

girls are bitches.

keep your chin up!

Brigindo said...

I don't think its at all petty but I do think that is one of the inherent problems with Facebook, Twitter, Blogs etc. On the one hand you can be all intimate with strangers but on the other hand sometimes people don't feel the need to respond, no matter how impolite.

Beautiful Mess said...

You blogged about it because it's important to you and now you feel better, right?
Her non-reply is rude. Like you said she could have just responded with a few word message back. I really hate it when that happens to me. Sometimes, I wonder if an email conversation has needed or is a "thanks" in order for me to not be rude. I always error on the side of caution. I'd rather be known as the "emailer that won't STOP emailing" then the "rude emailer who NEVER replies". Just my little 'ol opinion, though ;o)

P.S. I was in the car today and it struck me that it was Friday and I wondered if you were doing "Friday Retro-Gag". I'm not sure if I'm OK with the fact that you didn't or disappointed. I enjoy them, but MAN do those pictures gross me out! :D

Muser Grace said...

ranting rocks! And I'd be pissed too.

I really struggle with whether or not to have the moment my little one is very clear about NOT wanting a sibling, but I imagine that might change as she gets older.

MGW said...

This is merely a very personal observation -- and in no way reflects on your disquiet that your "friend" has not responded to your message -- but I find that sometimes I have nothing to say. I love what people write me . . . but I don't respond to them. I love that I get a present in the mail from them . . . but I don't send a thank you. I mean to, I want to, I think constantly about doing it (especially in those god-awful early morning hours when I'm NOT sleepling) but I'm just unable, at that moment, to put fingers to keyboard (pen to paper) and say something or anything at all. It's also during the times (pretty much always) when I don't answer the phone. Most people who deal with me daily have no idea that I can be like this -- and I don't explain it to them. It just is. I don't mean to hurt those around me, I appreciate everything they do for me, but sometimes, I simply can't (or maybe it's won't) open up and talk. Even my closest friends (outside my husband) don't recognize this in me -- and you admit that this person is not a really close friend. Give her some time to process - and then like Hyperblogal says, let it be her problem. But don't be angry about it, or hurt. Sometimes we simply have no words to say.

MoxieMamaKC said...

Thanks for your insight guys...Once I got it out in blog form, it stopped bothering me as much...Hyperblogal you're right. It's her problem now...

Green-Eyed Momster said...

I don't think it's petty at all but when I don't hear back from people, I always assume they died...Well, sort of? I mean seriously, how hard is it to send a couple of words? It only takes a few seconds!
When I gave away ALL of my baby items, I got pregnant and had to quickly collect such items again...

Good luck!