Friday, February 22, 2008

God sanctioned debauchery...Who's with me?

Since I've ran across this topic twice in as many days, it seems blog worthy, so indulge me.

Have you heard about the 30 Day Sex Challenge? Yeah, me either until yesterday. Apparently, a preacher in Florida is challenging the married couples in his congregation to increase their intimacy by having sex at least once a day for thirty days straight. Inversely, he is challenging single people to refrain from having sex for thirty days. Dude, sorry guys, this blog's not for you.

Read the article and come back, pretty please:
30 Day Sex Challenge

When I first read this, I had several reactions.
1. I'm a married Roman Catholic, sex is almost deemed mandatory by the Pope himself. Nothing new here. Yawn.
2. Only in America.
3. The one-quarter part of me (my dad's dad's family) is Southern Baptist. Why are we discussing such a thing?
4. Dude, is this preacher getting paid off by The Johnson & Johnson Co. (makers of KY Jelly) or Trojan condoms? This is GREAT marketing for the "Sexual Intimacy" market. (I can't help it, I'm a marketer, EVERYTHING is about advertising.) Way to "stimulate" the economy! Screw the government, I like the cut of that "Economic Stimulus Package"!

What I don't like is the idea that just by shaggin' you're going to reach spiritual union with your partner. Yes, I believe intercourse is a pleasurable gift from God, but as a path to deeper understanding to your life partner? Maybe.

How many people have you known that equate sex with intimacy/union of spirits? Pretty much every girlfriend you had in high school and college. How many of those relationships really lasted? Maybe I'm jaded as a rape survivor, but I don't think it was very many.

Yes, there is the physical aspect, but you can have incredibly intimate relationships with people without any physical contact whatsoever. Some of my most incredible moments with my husband over the last 11+ years were not sexual in any way, shape or form. And, believe me, as a Taurus, I am far from being considered frigid in that respect. Most Tauruses consider sex one of the essentials along with food, water, air, and shelter.

I think it's a nice thought, but I think the concept of the 30 Day Sex Challenge is short sighted. Yeah, go ahead and have sex for 30 days straight. That's great, hope you enjoy it, but don't forget how important spiritual connection is to the other person.

The best, most intimate gift (next to our darling daughter) that my handsome hubby and I ever gave each other....

Last year, in my Internet surfing compulsion, I ran across a post/idea from a woman who was in a troubled marriage and it just sounded like a good idea for all married couples, regardless the status of their married bliss...

She gave her husband a glass bowl full of slips of paper. On each slip was a reason she loved her husband or a poem or a song lyric, or something else that reminded her how much she loved him. She presented the bowl to him on Valentine's Day and he was so touched, he returned the favor.

As they were working out their issues, and when times seemed really tough for them, if they felt like they needed to, they went to the bowl and pulled out a slip of paper.

I thought she was exaggerating when she said whatever they pulled out seemed like the perfect thing they needed to hear at that moment.

Yeah, that was until I asked Handsome Hubby if he would like to try this. He agreed and so we did it. On one of our dressers sits both of our bowls. If you want to talk about hearing God's voice in your relationship, I can attest to this gift's power.

I can't tell you how many times over the last year or so that we put our 75-100 slips of paper into the bowls that I have pulled out the perfect message that I needed to hear. It's almost as if God choose for me to hear that message at that specific time to remind me that I was loved by both my husband and my Creator. It's all mystical like that.

I learned some really surprising things about reasons my husband loves me because he wrote it down on paper. He always acts surprised and says, "Didn't you know that already?" There are so many ways to express love for your life partner. Some of them are really quite shocking. From personality traits to song lyrics you would never associate with your relationship to things you've said off handedly in the's always amazing to discover how and why you're loved.

To create intimacy, discover the undiscovered. And that truly is a mental/emotional/spiritual thing. That bonds marriage, not mind-blowing sex (which, BELIEVE ME, is a TRULY lovely added bonus).

I think having sex for 30 days straight sounds like a lot of fun, but I think the "I love you because..." bowl can really bond your soul. Plus, if you're's Lent....a time of fast and abstinence. No "meat on Fridays"! Don't let your Catholic Guilt get in the way, just shag (said in my best Austin Powers voice).

So, here is my ending homework:
1. Create the "I love you because" bowl. Share with your partner.
2. Celebrate my friend Mike's favorite holiday, March 14th. (Google March 14, holiday and steak if you're clueless).
3. Check out this hilarious post from one of my newest favoritest viral sites/v-logs: Red State Update for the Red Neck definition of The 30 day Sex Challenge. See if you don't start giggling. I dare you. (I'll blog about them later because I love the concept.)

4. For nostalgia's sake . . . EVERY college party we ever hosted had this song played at least once. It's also dedicated to all Monty Python "Life of Brian" fans.