Wednesday, February 13, 2008

Hey, Winter...Newsflash...YOU SUCK!

Dear Old Man Winter,

I'm sick of you, ok? I want to break up. All that charm of holiday cheer and pretty white snow has worn off. I know I was excited for our first snows and didn't even mind your frostiness way back in December. But by now, I'm so over that.

I know statistically Jan. 24th is the most depressing day of the year according to sociologists, but sometimes I'm behind the times. And I'm always sick of you in about mid-February. Go back and look at my attendance records in grade school. Yeah, it might not be coincidence that I was "sick" at least one day in February almost every year.

So, it's your fault all these people are depressed. Way to be a Debbie Downer, Winter. You need a new attitude. February is the worst. Yeah, there's Valentine's Day, but really, that's a Capitalist holiday and President's that the best you and the government could come up with? You could try a little harder you know.

You're my least favorite season and I've tolerated you long enough. I miss green grass, and leaves on the trees and sandals and baseball and not freezing my butt off every time I go outside. I want to swim in the lake, darn it!

Don't think I didn't notice that extra day you threw in there this year. Leap Year...USELESS! Right now I'm cursing that damn groundhog and demanding a recount. Lazy little SOB only works one day a year and all he does is confirm the obvious. He's on your payroll isn't he? You grease his paw with a little extra nuts or whatever it is the rodent eats, don't you?

So, anyway, I know you'll probably stick around for another month or so, but come on, start packing it up, buddy, 'cause I'm so through with you. Today was the official first day of Spring Training Camp for the Royals, so you're being given notice to vacate.

C'mon Springtime, you sweet, beautiful season! I'm ready!


The Committee Against S.A.D
The Anti-Cranky League