Thursday, February 28, 2008

Stop asking, alright!

My husband is "an actor with a day job". Actually he works at a very, very flexible internet-based company and pursues acting as well. Sometimes his shows are professional, sometimes they are improv troup shows, sometimes they are community theatre. It's his dream. He does whatever he can/wants to. (He was quoted yesterday in the paper about his current show!) I've been supporting his dream for the last 11 years and it seems perfectly normal and quite fulfilling, thank you.

That's why I hate going to cast parties sometimes. His theatre friends must think that he keeps me locked in the house, bound with Darling Daughter Duty. This couldn't be further from truth.

After a hard day at work, filled with Working Mom Guilt, I love coming home eating dinner with Handsome Hubby before he goes off to rehearsal. Darling Daughter and I have some quality one on one time before her bath and bedtime at 8pm. After 8, I can relax, read, surf the internet, whatever for a few hours until he comes home. It's really not that bad at all. I enjoy my family/daughter/me/couple time. Sure, it takes effort to make sure that we spend enough time together as a family and a couple, but it works for us and Darling Daughter seems pretty well adjusted.

That's why I hate cast parties. Inevitably, someone will come up and ask me "I bet you'll be glad to have him back home after this show is over!" Or "Aren't you glad to get out of the house? Who's watching the baby tonight?"

Whatever. Sure it's nice to have him home, but just like a professional athlete, he only has a finite time in his life to do the roles he wants to do. I believe whole heartedly in "Carpe Diem". We've both made sacrifices for our passions, and staying home with our darling daughter is hardly a sacrifice. She's one of the most incredible people I know.

Nobody at the museum I work at every other weekend ever asks my husband, "God, don't you wish she were home more often on weekends? Don't you hate being chained down with Darling Daughter?"

The well meaning women at cast parties probably can't think of anything remotely intelligent to say, but it bothers me nonetheless. After so many years of the exact same questions and getting fed up with defending/explaining our lifestyle, I've come up with a pretty good answer that drops a few jaws and fills me with fiendish delight.

Recently, after being asked "Who's watching the baby tonight?" I answered:
"Well, she's 3 now, she's getting old enough to watch herself, but I felt a little funny about it tonight so I duct taped her to her toddler bed and left a little bowl of Cherrios next to her. I also spiked the milk in her sippy cup with Kaluha, so I think she'll be asleep when we get home. She really prefers White Russians, but, what are you going to do? I'm out of vodka."

Muahahahaha! I love the looks on people's faces when I say that.

Actually we are really lucky on the baby sitting front. We have a wonderful family support system in his siblings and they love Darling Daughter almost as much as we do. Her aunts and uncles (and friends of aunts and uncles)still in college love the Rent-A-Kid experience and Darling Daughter loves being the center of attention. It works for everybody.