Thursday, July 24, 2008

The Stripper and the Pizza Guy


Remember the story I told about my stripper roommate?

Handsome and I ordered pizza last night. The guy who delivered it was rather attractive and I commented on it to my very tolerant husband. (Neither of us have a problem with the other spouse's window shopping. As long as the other doesn't actually consider buying the merchandise. Or even touching it.)

Handsome suggested I should have paid him like Roxie paid the pizza guy during that fateful summer. I didn't think it was funny.

During the Summer of the Strippers, Roxie decided one night she wanted pizza.

We were going out with some friends (not friends of Roxie, or we would have invited her) and she was lamenting her lack of funds and we sort of left it at that.

After we came home, we noticed a pizza box on the kitchen table. I said to Handsome, "Oh good. She got her pizza."

Handsome started laughing, "That's not all she got!" pointing to the Papa John's hat sitting next to a set of keys.

Both of us were shocked. I was completely scandalized.

We had a friend in college who had once told us that when he worked as a repairman for AT&T he would have frisky housewives try to seduce him all the time. We thought he was totally making it up, because if you knew the guy, you couldn't see that really happening.

Now we began to wonder. I mean, who seduces a pizza guy just to get free pizza? Stuff like that happens on bad tv shows and in pizza guys' fantasies, not in real life. This was one of the first signs that maybe Roxie was starting to go off the deep end.

We tiptoed past her room and the next morning, (after the hat and keys were gone), I asked her if she'd shagged the pizza guy just to get a free pizza.

She laughed and said, "Basically. But it's ok. I knew him from when we were in school. I knew if I booty-called him, he'd bring me a free pizza. It was a small price to pay."

Stay tuned for other crap I remember.

1 comments:

kcmeesha said...

I delivered pizza long time ago and one time I ran into a female customer who seemed to have high hopes for the delivery guy, then she saw me...