Why I Hate Company Picnics...

Every parent does it. You can't help it.

You compare your kid to every other kid whenever in a social setting.

ie: Is my kid keeping up with his/her peer group? She's almost 4, but she's much taller/more coordinated/smarter/kicks more ass than that other kid that's a similar age.

For me, nothing is worse than company picnics/baseball games/family outings. I feel like all my co-workers are staring at Darling. (I do admit she is a rather magnetic personality.)

Not only are they staring...they are judging...with their ThankGodIDon'tHaveKids/ThankGodI'mABetterParentThanThat eyes.

Paranoid and self conscious, aren't I?

YEP. That's the Theme of the Week here at Moxie Central.

Tonight was Company Picnic Night. Darling was the oldest (at 3 years and 50 weeks). All the other kids were in the 2 and under crowd. They all were docile, happy to eat the hot dogs and ice cream and look cute in their minimum mobility.

My kid? The Kid Who Knows She Has An Audience?

She was refusing to eat a banana because it looked funny.

She was the one meowing like a cat and wanting to crawl on her hands and knees when she wasn't wanting to hop over to the barbeque grills like a bunny.

She's the one who wanted to eat ice cream with her fingers.

She's the one who asked my boss what was his name and where did he live?

She's the one who was bossing around the littler kids (DRINK YOUR JUICE!!! DON'T DO THAT!!!) and sat down and threw a tantrum when it was time to leave.

You know, the one who had to be carried to the car screaming that she didn't want to go home as my boss' docile, hardly a peep out of him, 1 yr old son sat staring almost as horrified as his father was.

The kid who's mother felt the judging eyes of co-workers searing into her back as they left.

Let's be honest. We're raising her to be expressive of her feelings (yet trying to harness that into a disciplined channel) She's going through the independence stage. She's learning self-determination and setting new boundaries. WHY DOES SHE HAVE TO TEST THEM IN PUBLIC?!?

The other parents in my work clique haven't got to the charming Turning 4 Tantrum Stage yet. My child is one of the most stubborn people I have ever met in my life. She even gives me a run for my money. Poor Handsome calls our clashes Stubborn Offs. Neither of us will bend or break.

I call it Discipline, she thinks of it as Totalitarianism (if she knew that word).

She has a shirt my MIL gave her that says, "WARNING: Irish Temper and German Stubborness".

And how true it is, Constant Reader, how true it is.

I hope someday my co-workers will understand (be blessed with their own tantruming kids)...