Monday, December 22, 2008

Facebook What Ifs

Lately, I've had a rash of high school era friends (can you even call them friends when you haven't talked to them in over 10 years?) "friend" me on Facebook.

Some of them I actually wondered what happened to them...

Others, I'm ambivelent towards in that "Wasn't that the guy who sat 3 seats back and 2 rows over in junior year math class?" sort of way...

And then I found him. Or rather a friend suggested that I add him.

You know, the one.

The guy from high school that was completely dreamy and your mom always wanted you to marry (I know, in HIGH SCHOOL!) but he was THAT dreamy.

Smart. Dark curly hair, blue, blue eyes. Tall, dark, all-American handsome.

We were friends since 4th grade when he moved to the area. He went to a different school than I did, but we went to church together.

We always liked each other in that friend sort of way, but when we got to high school, something weird happened. All of a sudden our friendship was awkward.

We ended up on again/off again dating and even went to prom together one year. Nothing serious ever happened between us, but still, ya know, a lot did.

When I told my mom I was going to marry Handsome she begged me not to. That he wanted to be an actor and that he never would be able to support me (like I'd EVER like to be a stay at home mom!)and "WHY? Why can't you marry someone like [Insert High School Guy's Name Here]?!"


Because he was a Peter Keating. (Guy from the "The Fountainhead"). Handsome was a toned down Howard Roark, much more my type.

Sure, Peter looks good on paper: great looks, great career options for making lots of money, but no dreams, no spine.

I told my mom this, which she of course didn't understand, but it made perfect sense to me. I'm just not one to marry for money.

I have a single friend of mine who says she loves hanging out with Handsome and I because we are "living a traditional life in an untraditional way". Weird but true, I guess. We both have good jobs that mostly pay the bills, but also have something that we are passionate about (theatre/history). Realistic dreamers is how I look at it.

So, as I'm clicking thru the pictures of "Peter" and his wife and kid (they're expecting another one soon), I'm not really jealous. Handsome, Darling and I have the same things they do. We're happy, challenged, settled.

But I'm a horrible "What Ifer". I can't help myself.

And, I think I'm a lot happier than I would have been had I listened to my mother.

Wouldn't trade in my Handsome and Darling for anything.


kcmeesha said...

I had one "whatif" most of my life, but when I spent some time with her this year, I realized that she annoys me to no end, not very bright and not as beautiful as she came to me in certain dreams :-)

SmedRock said...

Your Mother would not have had to live with him either. You would. You did the right thing and married someone YOU loved. Not someone your mother loved. Good post.

Stacey K said...

I'm just not a "what if" kinda person. That's good because I'm not a think it through kind of person either and opens many doors for "what if?"

I don't know you in real life, but based on your blog I would say that life with Handsome and Darling with perfect for you. The love shows through the writing.

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