If McCain Came to Dinner.....

So, I don’t know who I’m going to vote for in the Presidential election. I swing both ways politically and usually vote for the candidate I think will do the best job, regardless of their party.

I’ve tried to decide who to vote for...there’s the issues of course, but to make an informed decision, I’d like to pick and choose among the candidates, buffet-style to find the perfect palatable choice. I’d love to Frankenstein them into my own SUPER CANDIDATE!!!!

So, that got me thinking. Maybe I should think about who I’d like to have over for dinner. If I could pleasantly break bread with one of them, maybe they could win my vote.

So, the next few blogs will be dedicated to my "Dream Dinners" with the candidates and how I would envision how the evening would proceed....

First up, John McCain....

I imagine him ringing the doorbell and Darling Daughter running towards the door, peeking thru the window, screaming, "Grandpa, Grandpa!" I would quietly hush her before opening the door and say, "No, that’s Presidential Hopeful Mr. John McCain. Be nice to him,"

All 3 of us would greet him with a hearty handshake and say, "Glad you could join us, Mr. McCain" I would apologize that the house is a mess, but I’m a working mother and have no time to portray the Republican view of a perfect SAHM. Ignore the mess....

After about 5 minutes of silly small talk, DD would climb up in his lap and say, "Want to come to my room, John? We can play Dance Party!" at which time, being the gracious baby kisser I imagine him to be, he agrees and I scurry to the kitchen to finish the food prep. We’re having salad, steaks Handsome Hubby grilled, baked potatoes and rolls.

When dinner is ready, I peek in DD’s room, and see them singing along to "Bingo" and dancing in front of the mirror in tiaras and DD’s "Princess shoes" (sparkly pink similar to Dorothy’s ruby reds in the Wizard of Oz") and giggling as they wave their magic wands. Mr. McCain says that he’s going to borrow her magic wand so that if he’s elected President, he can wave it and there will be Social Security funds for when Mommy and Daddy retire.

I interrupt the revelry and announce that dinner is served. John then informs me that he served his country and was a POW for 5 years. After an awkward pause, I say, "My dad was a Corpsman, Second Class in Vietnam..." He responds like every vet that I ever shared that with, "Really? A Corpsman? We loved those guys. They saved our asses."

We then proceed to have our All-American dinner, complete with apple pie for dessert (Dude, I don’t bake...I bought a Tippin’s, ok?) and are serenaded by the melodic tunes of Baby Einstein’s Vivaldi (DD’s favorite CD). It seems Republicanish and DD refuses to listen to the unadulterated hard core classical we have. We discuss the war, the economy, and the illegal immigration policies he would enact (all of which I am in favor of) and who has a shot at winning the World Series....Ya know, regular people stuff....

After dinner, Handsome Hubby invites John to go out onto the back patio for cigars and, in that charming family way when they don’t know how else to entertain someone, asks if he’d like to play Spades.

After a rousing card game and too much red wine (during which I inform him he looks like a gopher and sounds like Ronald Reagan, which is not a good thing, but he takes pretty well), Mr. McCain watches School House Rock! with DD (He knows every word to "I’m Just a Bill...") and reads her favorite pop-up book of the "Wizard of Oz" to her, informing her that it is nothing more than L. Frank Baum’s vision of a Populist utopia and tucks her into bed.

Our Republican evening is over and we bid him adieu, telling him to stop by anytime he’s in the Midwest and advise him to try and channel a little more Harry Truman (a president that truly had large cajones). He smiles, shuffles a bit in an "Awww...shucks!" way and stumbles off into the night....