Monday, June 30, 2008

Never piss off historians...

Especially if you're trying to get elected. Remember who writes the history books for the winners?

I was really kind of surprised at this story.

What was Obama thinking? What a horrible slip up. Obama's handlers should be spanked for not having him visit the library and Truman's grave.

In a time of political change, calling on the plucky spirit of "Give 'em Hell, Harry" could have and should have been on the agenda. If I were the library people, I'd be ticked too.

What was more important than visiting/giving your respects at a former president's grave? Let's be honest. There's only 3 things Independence, MO is known for:

1. The Oregon-Santa Fe Trails
2. Harry Truman
3. Crystal Meth

So, if it wasn't #2 that was so interesting, what was more important, Mr. Presidential Hopeful? (Let the conspiracy theories begin...)

I want to like Obama. Why? It's easy (almost too easy) to kick McCain, I want changes in our government and I certainly wasn't a Hillary supporter. But he certainly didn't win brownie points with me today. Especially since he was supposedly defending his patriotism. Snub a former president, a Democrat at that. That'll show 'em!

Can we resurrect Truman? He didn't give a crap if his politics were popular or not, he just did the right thing to make his country a better place to live. That sort of seems more patriotic to me than just wearing (or not wearing) a flag pin and giving speeches.

I'm just saying...

Here's some of my favorite Harry quotes:

"My choice early in life was either to be a piano-player in a whorehouse or a politician. And to tell the truth, there's hardly any difference.”

"I never did give them hell. I just told the truth, and they thought it was hell."

“The 'C' students run the world.”

"Never kick a fresh turd on a hot day.”

"I wonder how far Moses would have gone if he'd taken a poll in Egypt? What would Jesus Christ have preached if he'd had taken a poll in Israel? Where would the Reformation have gone if Martin Luther had taken a poll? It isn't polls or public opinion of the moment that counts. It is right and wrong and leadership--- men with fortitude and honesty, and a belief in the right that makes epochs in the history of the world".

"It's not the hand that signs the laws that holds the destiny of America. It's the hand that casts the ballot."

Everybody's best friend

Maybe I'm over-reacting, but Darling's friendly. Maybe a little too friendly....

She greets everyone that crosses her path with "Hi, I'm Darling. I live at (Moxie Address). What's your name? Where do you live?"

It's cute, but she has no sense of Stranger Danger and just a splash of that is a good thing. Handsome and I worked so hard to get her to come out of her shy shell and now, she's way out there.

We're both worried about how to reign her in without sending her back to wallflower status. This is so confusing. Parenting sucks sometimes, you know?

Why don't kids come with instruction manuals?

Va-Ca Fever!

It's only Monday morning and I'm itching for my Fourth of July break already. I made the executive decision to take off Wed-Sun this week and I'm SO not motivated to get stuff done in my stressful 2 day work week.

My mind's already vacationing...I'm dreaming of sleeping in on Wed/Thurs, swimming, maybe laying out, reading, relaxing...

In other words, no Marketing job, no Museum job for 5 days straight.


Don't get me wrong, I love my jobs and I don't sit still well for very long, but I really need this relaxation.

Today and tomorrow are going to drag.


Saturday, June 28, 2008


Argue with me if you must, but I'll shoot you down...

My favorite song ever written is "American Pie" It's the first vinyl (yes, vinyl album as in record) that I remember ever seeing. My parents played it over and over again. My first history lesson came from my dad as he explained the symbolism behind the song. I was hooked on history forevermore...

I fought it, but I am my father's daughter after all...

I love the symbolism contained in Don McLean's greatest song...

I found this on YouTube tonight and I love it...nice explaination of it all...

I love you, Daddy for the world you opened to me...

Mr. Presidential Hopeful, I just peed my pants

I admit to sometimes indulging in the whole lolcats thing. I admit to enjoying funny picture captioning, corny, I know, but this, this my friends is a gem...

check out PunditKitchen and Graph Jam when you're bored at work.

Random stuff in my head

I'm bored at the museum today. So, I'm blogging about absolutely nothing of any real value. My mind is racing with a bunch of crap though...

In no particular order:

~ Are all tourists from Rhode Island such big assholes as that last guy?

~ If I picked some oregano from their garden, which I enthusiastically accepted, what the hell would I actually do with it?

~ Do I have enough chicken in the freezer to feed 12 tonight?

~ store here I come...

~ Is it too wet to have a picnic?

~ If the MIL and FIL get to our house before I get home for work, she better not start cooking the crap she brought.

~ Has anyone ever had the nerve to tell my MIL that she's a horrible cook and she should let her husband (who is a pretty good cook) do it? I want to watch when somebody gets the balls to do so.

~ What the hell am I going to do with that Donut Maker Handsome "won" yesterday?
~ How did "The Executioner's Song" actually win a Pulitzer? It's the most depressing, tedious book I think I've ever read.

~ I never quit in the middle of a book. I'm tempted though.

~ I hate museum visitors who interrupt my tour to tell me how smart they are. (9 times out of 10 they're not.)

~ Questions are fine, ask away. Don't lecture me with your misinformation. It only embarasses us both.

~ Am I a snob or just fussy today?


I hang out with a lot of crafty/talented people. I don't do crafts. I'm great at designing things (like junk mail) on the computer, but I don't sew, knit, paint, play music, cook gourmet or even scrapbook.

I should be able to be creative with my hands beyond making pictures with dry 15 bean soup mix with Darling.

Right? Everyone should have a unique creative talent.

I'm envious of quilters, photographers, weavers, gardeners, etc. I would love to cherish something that I made with my own two hands.

Maybe I'll take up woodworking. (I know, kind of butch, huh?) I've always liked watching my dad make things out of wood. Except I'm scared of splinters.

Maybe this is just something I should think more about. I love hobbies. Maybe I should just find one and stick to it.

This Doesn't Surprise Me....


As a 1930s wife, I am

Take the test!

Friday, June 27, 2008

Just one more month!

I realized today that it was June 27th, which means only one thing to me....30 days until "Mad Men' Season 2 premeries! I'm so excited. THIS is the show I get all gushy/nerdy over!

There's new video clips! Damn corporate for blocking streaming video and ruining my afternoon eye candy. Now I have to wait until I get home! ARGH!

Jon Hamm, here I come!

If you've missed the first season (like just about everybody else), you can catch Season One which will be repeated in a marathon on July 20th.

Man Cave Gone Wild

I did earn "Coolest Wife" points from his friends for encouraging Handsome to build his fortified Man Cave/Temple to Testosterone.

Whatever. I've been a great wife in all of this. I even helped him track down the perfect corner desk for his computer stuff on Craigslist. Because this isn't supposed to be an expensive venture, remember?

He can have whatever he wants in there (except the 52" plasma, that's out of the budget, buddy)It's his well deserved space.

However, I'm starting to regret it.

He primed the walls and is now considering painting a mural of all the shows he's done. Here's how it went:

Handsome: So I'm thinking of painting a mural on that wall with all the shows I've done.

Me: Umm, sweetheart, you remember that you're colorblind, right? (So much so that he can't tell the difference between red/green and when he was a kid, he thought their black and white tv was color)

Handsome: So?

Me: I've seen your high school art class paintings (green instead of yellow, red instead of get it, right?)

Handsome: Yeah, so?

Me: Will you at least let your brother (the one that isn't colorblind) help you pick out the colors? (Thinking to myself, "That's going to be a bitch to paint over when we sell this house in a few years")

Handsome: I can read labels, I can do it.

Me: Have him help anyway.

I know it's literally not my place, but why a mural? Over the last 12 years of shows, he's collected quite the memorbilia stash. Plus, mural painting will prolong the siding, the bathroom remodel and painting Darling's playroom. Not to mention refinishing the hardwoods in the living room and dining room. We're a DIY, Can Do Operation here at the Moxie Family Compound. Thank God between his father, uncles and himself they can do all this work.

I'm just going to keep biting my tongue, because I promised him, and if company comes over, I'll just shut the door.

That's reasonable, right?

Social Networking Competition...Apparently

I've noticed an odd phenomenon among my Facebook/MySpace friends circle lately, but I wasn't sure, so I put it to the test last night.

Darling and I were kickin' it inflatable poolside last night and as we silly girls are wont to do, I pulled out the camera and started taking pictures of her unparalleled adorableness. We both love doing this and she's gotten much better at hamming it up.

I can't help myself. My parents were not "picture takers" and it was something I was determined to remedy as a parent. I hate not having many pictures of me when I was little. Our child is thoroughly documented thru visuals.

I always post them on Facebook or MySpace when I get around to it. Darling's aunts and uncles and distant cousins are always bugging me for pictures (she's one of the only little ones in our family right now until some them decide to reproduce, so she's a novelty) and I figure if they really want them, they can download them. My SIL gave me a really cool collage of Handsome, Darling and I for Christmas last year simply from yanking pics from my social networks.

So, last weekend I posted pics from Family Date Night at Loose Park, the Tinkerbell dress up day, and visiting Grandma at the Lake's house. All packed with cuteness and fortified by the funny captions I try to create.

Within hours, 3 mothers and 4 girlfriends/wives had posted pics of their fun times. I thought it was odd there was such an onslaught of pics all of a sudden, so I decided to test it.

I posted our swimming pictures last night and within a few hours 2 others had posted and by this morning, 3 others had pictures of their kids up.

Girls, it's not a competition...

It got me thinking about why people even bother joining Facebook/MySpace. Is it for the "SuperPokes" or to keep up with friends or to brag about your "fabulous" life?

Sometimes I think it's just a facade we all put up.

Is social networking just high school reinvented? How many friends can I accumulate to impress others? What I'm doing this weekend that's so much better than what you're doing (laundry and housecleaning)?

Moxie just doesn't roll that way. I don't care enough to compete. Does that make me boring? I don't know. I know I started this blog to stay away from their prying eyes so I could breathe a little of my own true opinion into things (not wanting my sometimes strong opinions to affect my husband's chances of getting into shows, that's not fair to him).

I joined them so that I could stay in touch with old friends (who are not in the picture posting category, it seems only to be Handsome's theatre posse), so I won't forget their birthdays, so I know when theatre stuff is coming's brought me and my cousin who I fell out of touch with over the years closer together.

It has it's advantages, but then I realize the invasive power of it all when I see a friend out of the blue who asks me if my back is feeling better. "Oh yeah, I posted that on Facebook" I remind myself. And then I wonder if I'm sharing too much. But there are people I want to know what's going on in my life but if the stage manager's husband from Handsome's cast 4 shows ago wants to be my "friend" doesn't it make me a total bitch to deny their request?

I hate the invasiveness of it all right now. I hate the invisible competition that I seem to be in without wanting to be in it.

Moxie's always kind of danced to the beat of her own drummer and I know that there are people in Handsome's circle who think I'm weird because I could give a rat's ass about "America's Next Top Model" or "Sex in the City". They're shocked that I'm not into that stuff. I'd rather read a book or see a show or go to a museum.

I think I forgot the point to this post. So sorry. I think it was something about feeling like I'm in a fishbowl.

Anybody else have thoughts about Facebook/Myspace? Am I just being a snob/paranoid?

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Just Curious...

Being the Marketing Maven and Ad Guru that I am, I'm me out on this one.

We had a huge discussion today about what was worse....junk mail in your mailbox

or spam in your inbox...

Thoughts, comments, suggestions?

The Glory of Spam

I have a love/hate relationship with the potted meat product known as Spam. However, as I was browsing thru the latest edition of Advertising Age, I was shocked to see that Spam is making a dramatic comeback in these times of economic crisis....

Go Spam.....

Mind you, my first experience with Spam was in high school junior year history class. When we had to "use the facilities" we were given a hall pass attached to a can of Spam. It was our teacher's trademark hall pass. When our IB History class graduated, we all got Spam shirt...

Deep, dark, dirty serious confession time...

I've yet to try it. It scares me....

Nonetheless, I'm fascinated...I love it's "pop culture icon" status.
Maybe I just love Weird Al...

Maybe I just love "Spamalot" (One of the most incredibly funniest musical ever written)...

Check out their website. Check out the ads...

Maybe check out some recipes such as...

Caesar SPAMBURGER® Hamburger
Mac 'n SPAM® 'n Cheese
Maple SPAM™ Stuffed Squash
Reuben Baked Potatoes(This one's for you, DLC!)
And, Of course, for dessert.....

SPAM™ Cupcakes

*Moxie Mama is not to be held responsible for any gastronomical difficulties incurred by trying above recipes. I have not tried them, nor will I be coaxed into doing so. Cook and consume at your own risk.*

Shutz Up. I want thez....

Lol cats...retarded, I know...I still want these magnets!

Pain in the back...

Friday morning Darling didn't want to get out of bed, so I decided to pick her up. She went one way in her obstinancy, I went the other in my insistence. back went out. I could barely walk.

I was pampered and babied Friday/Saturday. I even was able to sit thru the Royals game Friday night (Thanks, Mr. Budweiser) and saw the incredible fireworks show.

Monday morning I woke up in abject misery. Maybe I overdid the housework on Sunday. I still screwed myself up something fierce.

Heating pads, Alleve, even a muscle relaxer haven't touched it. Maybe it's time to go to the chiropractor that I use in cases of emergency. I hate going, but this is getting ridiculous.

Monday, June 23, 2008

first ever baseball game

If you haven't seen this and you call yourself a true baseball fan, slap yourself, watch, pee your pants and move on with your life. Sorry I can't find a better video. Close your eyes and just listen and imagine...

I'll get crucified for this

If I see one more Facebook/MySpace/Blogger/news item related to the untimely and admittedly tragic death of George Carlin, I'm going to go postal.

YES...I agree, he was incredible.

YES...I agree the 7 bad words you can't say on tv was one of the funniest sketches EVER.

YES...he was a comic/pulp culture ICON...

YES... I loved him ever since "Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure"

Let's move on...Ok? I'm done.

As much as I enjoyed his humor, honestly...guys, seriously? It's not like we've lost a great icon in American History. Be honest...I was more upset when Mitch Hedberg died. George made a little moment, stirred a little mud...his funnyness/salient point is done. Mitch was cut down in the prime of his glory (Belushi anyone?)

And yes, I realize by posting this post, I'm only prolonging it...

Rest in peace, George...ya done good. Thanks for passing the torch/challenge to others...I'll drink to you everytime I watch something you're in and curse like a drunken sailor, just for you, because you were one of my first comedic adorations...

Thursday, June 19, 2008

Antebellum Underwear

Dearest Constant Reader...If you are a Constant Reader, you know that I work at a local museum a few weekends a month. I've also promised myself (and my advisor before I graduated) that I would be a serious historian and never break down and do "living history" (ie. be a crazy obsessed reenactor who has no sense of academia to the period).

But.....wellll.....Moxie wants a pretty dress.

I'll admit I have hoop skirt envy. There's just a splash of me that wants to channel my inner Scarlett O'Hara (shut up! She was a strong independent woman in her own way).

It will come in handy for several events that are coming up this fall. It's tax deductible since it's for my job and well, after 5 years, I'm ready for a pretty period appropriate dress (see...I'm justifying my purchase in a totally sensible and reasonable way!).

So I've started researching. I can, within my museum's time period, pick one from the Civil War to the 1930's....who am I kidding? I'm going Civil War ball gown. Not practical, but, oh so pretty.

I discuss with Handsome, who spoils me and let's me have what I want usually when it's completely reasonable. Which I am since I hate spending money.

Me: "This is the dress I'm thinking of..."

Handsome: "So, you'll need a hoop skirt..."

Me: "Yep"

Handsome: "What else?"

Me: "Well, probably a corset..."

Handsome: "Really? What else?"

Me: "I'm not sure, probably ear bobs, a fan, a hair snood, lace gloves, maybe a choker...I need to research..."

Handsome: "What else underneath? Did they wear garters or something?"

Ahhh....I see where this is going...

Me, playing cool/dumb: "Why do you ask? People aren't going to see it. I was planning on just wearing a regular strapless bra and underwear, I don't need to be TOTALLY authentic..."

Handsome (my actor always): "Well, you should be in character..."

Me: "You just want to see me in my chemise, don't you?"

Handsome: "Well somebody has to help you get dressed...and undressed....and I know how modest you usually are, I'm glad to volunteer..."

Me: "Aha....a fantasy?!"

Handsome: "I just like being helpful"

Me: "Uh-huh..."

Handsome (blatantly staring at my boobs): "I do what I can to support you"

Me: "Thanks, honey, I appreciate it. You realize mid-1800 undergarments aren't exactly Victoria's Secret, right?"

Handsome: "That only makes them all the more intriguing..."

Me: "Ok, but that means you need to start wearing your kilt around the house more often.....authentically...." (He wore a kilt for our wedding).

Handsome: "No problem, I'll even bend over seductively for you"

Me: "Thanks"

Handsome: "I do what I can..."

So, the entire point to this post is, well, there is no point except I'm kind of shocked that he would find corsets and petticoats and hoop-skirts sexy...

Not that I'm complaining...There have been costumes that he's worn that might have been brought home for extra-curricular activities a time or two, but I'm not used to being on the receiving end of such intrigue...

So much for the SI Swimsuit Edition, I'll get him Godey's Ladies Journal for his porn time fun....

I'm SO getting laid when I get that dress! SCORE!

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Man Caves, Beware

So, Handsome's Father's Day present was to allow him to take the spare bedroom in our house and turn it into a Man Cave (a very small one, since it's the third small bedroom).

A nice restful place that he can set up his home office (he works from home at least once a week), have a place for all of his theatre books/paraphenalia from shows he's done and a closet for all his tools. A place that all his video game stuff can go when his friends come over.

He deserves it. He works hard and he spoils Darling and I rotten.

I know he had visions of being on the show Man Caves on DIY Network, but we both doubted that a Musical Theatre themed Cave would be a very good episode for the average red blooded American male. (I assure you his virility is well in tact. They aren't ALL gay.)

Everything was fine and dandy until his brothers started chiming in. With their crazy crack-pipe ideas. Now walls want to come down and extensive electrical wiring is involved.

We're not even going to mention the need (desire) for a 52" plasma TV (to save space you know).

In my mind, it only involved a new coat of paint, a mini-fridge, maybe some new "manly curtains" and furniture moving.

Sigh...what have I gotten myself into?

Monday, June 16, 2008

A KC Mob Hit (to be)!

So, if you're in the greater Kansas City metro area tomorrow night, Tuesday, June 17th, head down to Union Station.

It's the 75th anniversary of the Union Station Massacre and they are commemorating the lives lost during that horrible day.

Plus, you'll be one of the first to see "Shooting Back in Time: The Union Station Massacre" by local historian Terrance O'Malley.

If you're interested in KC mob history, this will be pretty cool. It's only $10 and it beats sitting at home watching re-runs on tv.

Oh yeah. The "bullet holes" aren't real. I've seen them up close and no way a machine gun did that. But, local legends are always interesting, true or not.

Check out this article, just so you're "in the know" in case you don't know. Tony would be tickled to know our city hall has been corrupt for decades!

Oh yeah, they are STILL there . . . be careful of the other dead bodies lying around the place.

Friday, June 13, 2008

No Extra Insurance Needed on Friday the 13th

Stats can be warped to prove anything. Apparently Friday the 13th is safer than any other Friday.

Huh. Guess it's safe to pet my mom's black cat, Vader tonight if we go over there for dinner. That's good to know. I love that cat.

I still like the folklore and superstitions anyway. Makes life a bit more interesting.

I guess I need more thrills in my life.

Still, if I hear that creepy music today, or see a guy walking around in a face mask, I'm outta here.

Thursday, June 12, 2008

F'in Disney Princesses....

Fine. Alright. I quit. I gave it a hell of a good fight. Burn my damn Women's Lib card.

Today, after a 3.5 year struggle against the Marketing Gods of Disney, I'm throwing in the towel.

I hate the Disney Princesses (for the most part). Weak, shallow, "Oh come save me Handsome Prince" crap.

Yes, Darling owns "The Little Mermaid", "Sleeping Beauty", "Aladdin" "Hunchback of Notre Dame" etc. but I've always drilled into her that she should never ever settle for "Princess-ship" when being the "Queen" is the ultimate in control and self-determination.

We've repeated over and over, "I'm the Queen, not the Princess. I can do it myself"...

It's not so much women's lib stuff but self determination and a sense of adventure. Seriously, who wants to nap thru the excitement (Sleeping Beauty) or have to dress up to impress a guy who can't see it in the very first place (Cinderella)? I'm a do-it-yourself, rely on yourself kind of girl and want my daughter to never be dependent on a man to make it thru life. That's all..

Yeah, well, so...

Today Darling came home from the babysitters with her hair re-done (GRRRR!!!!) out of her usual cute pigtails into braids.

Like Pocahontas.

"Look Mama! I'm Pocahontas!"

And my ancestors (my whatever generation it was great grandmother was her granddaughter) wept and rolled in their graves.

Sorry, guys, I tried, but ya can't beat Disney.

I know that kids movies can't be completely historically accurate, but seriously. "Pocahontas" bugs me beyond belief and I swore she would never see it, so help me GOD!...Thanks, Babysitter...but it's not like I'm going to say anything to you because I don't want to be one of "those parents" and most people would see it as slight liberties with the truth...


Hardly admirable and hardly a Disney ending, really.

I suppose it could have been worse. Don't even get me started on "Anastasia".

Nevertheless, I'm weak, I'm weary, can't fight preschool peer pressure and I give up. As long as I can balance those negative woman images with something more positive like "Mulan" or even "Belle" maybe there's a chance for her self esteem yet.

Handsome says I'm too uptight about it all, but it makes me sick how many ADULTS think movies like "300", "Braveheart" "Glory" et al are true depictions of what really happened.

Sometimes the true stories are more dramatic than the Hollywood versions. They may not be as "cinematically pleasing" but sometimes we need to learn from tragedy and others' mistakes....

But whatever. Someday when Darling's older, I'll sit down with her and have the "Good Heroines/Bad Heroines" talk.


Creating positive self esteem in young girls is a frightening battle.

MO has the cheapest gas!

Huh. Living near the KS state line, everyone knows gas is cheaper in Missouri. Apparently here are the reasons.

That's great and all, but gas is still WAY too expensive.

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

My Grade School Arch Nemesis

After reading Sizzle's fabulous (duh, as usual) post, and then running across Sturdy Girl's equally brave post, I started contemplating my own school age arch nemesis. I'll call her Hickey for reasons I won't explain. Needless to say, she caused me incredibly painful moments throughout my 3rd to 11th grade years (then I realized she was pathetic, shallow and doomed to be a "soccer mom" a not good way and she didn't disappoint).

Let's start at the beginning...When I was really young (kindergarten to 3rd grade), my BFF lived 7 doors down from me and was named Annie...(so named because when we were in first grade we were both obsessed with "Annie" the movie that had just come out. We were so dedicated, Annie dyed her beautiful chestnut hair with red Kool-Aid and cut it one very naughty afternoon.)

Around 3rd grade, Hickey showed up. She moved 3 doors down from me on the other side. She was an only child of divorced and remarried parents. She set her sights on my BFF.

Being the way that I was (and at the constant encouraging of our parents) the three of us tried to be friends...

Well, friends and neighbors, 2's company, 3's a crowd and I was the odd gal out mostly because I refused to see the bad in anyone. (A tragic flaw of mine to this day.)

Anyway, I slowly got ebbed out of Annie's life. I had not at 9 yrs old learned the art of warfare. I was the oldest of big family of 5. Everybody accepted everything. Apparently (in retrospect), Hickey was too paranoid to accept anyone but Annie.

In order to break our bond, she employed all tactics of pre-pubescent cruelty upon me. When I got glasses, she was the first to laugh, if I wore something that she didn't approve of, she criticized (in front of everyone). Since I didn't like "Sav ed by the Bell" I was ostracized. When I fell in the lake (where we lived) trying to jump from the dock to boat, she laughed. She destroyed my self-confidence in those delicate years...I was never cool enough or good enough for the trampoline parties at Annie's next door neighbor's house(whose older brother I had a DESPERATE crush on).

Annie's fault, in retrospect, was that she was weak and just wanted to be everybody's friend. That's what I wanted, but I got shoved to the side, all the time missing swinging on her swings and digging in the sand under them for buried treasure.

The ultimate Hickey insult came when we were in 8th grade. I had given a speech and was nominated to go to the State convention to compete. Hickey laughed at the bus stop about me orating about Martin Luther King.

Annie didn't defend me that day.

I remember riding the bus to our junior high that day, tears silently rolling down my face...even 20 years later there's a spark of pain over that memory. Even my statewide victory didn't quell that pain....not even still...

By my junior year of high school, Annie and Hickey were on the cheerleading squad and I was a State award winning editor of our school paper, a State award winner of our debate and forensics program and in the advanced English and History classes. I found my niche and my nerdy people. I was happy (except when she looked down at her nose at me).

I still am feeling inferior (in retrospect).

I didn't go to my 10 yr reunion, not because I was afraid of seeing Hickey and the football player (stereotypes do come true!) she married a few months out of high school...I was at my cousin's wedding that weekend....

Fuck, I would have loved to have looked her in the eyes and asked if she was truly happy...

I would have loved to have shown off my drop dead gorgeous husband and compared him with the potbellied sack (but oh so dear hearted, truly...why did HE marry HER?!?) guy she married...

I would have loved to have compared notes of how, yes, yes I do have an incredible career after I GRADUATED COLLEGE, 'cause see, I didn't get knocked up right away..Have you seen my art? Have you ever visited my hobby of a museum? See how incredible the guy I married is, how much he loves me compared to the used car salesman burn out you married? See the pictures of my beautiful daughter? She's somebody who will change the world. Your kids?...Oh...they're ok....

I have learned the art of the well placed snub...

Alas, I guess there is always the 15 or 20 yr reunion.

Damn....I'm more petty than normal tonight, but's empowering...

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

Getting To Know You Meme

Ohhh...I love these things. There should be a self-help group dedicated to answering quizzes. Got tagged for this one by Brigindo at dirtandrocks.

1. What was I doing 10 years ago?
I was living in my first apartment with my then Handsome boyfriend. We were both still in school and I guess in June of 1998 I was busy teaching swim lessons at Longview Rec Center and trying not to kill my 2 stripper roommates. (Grocery shopping was fun with them.)

2. Five things on my to do list for today.
finish up work projects, pick up Darling, make frozen pizza, flop on the couch next to Handsome and catch up on all our DVR shows.

3. Snacks I enjoy.
Peanut M&M's, apples with peanut butter and sour cream and chedder Ruffles

4. Things I would do if I was a billionaire.
Set up all the members of my family for life (ok, only the deserving ones), quit my job, travel the world, start a theatre company for Handsome and donate the rest.

5. Places I have lived:
I'm really boring. Only metro KC.

Biggest Loser: Presidential Edition

They say that history is written by the victors, and well, that's true. I'll be the first to admit that I'm disgruntled and uninspired by the 2008 POTUS Candidate Crop. I really wanted the Democrats to get their party in order and kick some Republican butt in this election because I think it's time for a party shift in the White House. (I vote by the candidate and issues, not the party.)

I'm neither an Obama Mama (he seems slightly smarmy/slimy to me, like a snake oil salesman) nor do I have McCain Mania (He reminds me too much of a Reagan-gopher love child, plus, I don't like his politics either).

I don't care which one of them wins the election because, quite frankly, John and Jane Q. Public are still ultimately the biggest losers in '08. We need a Washington, Jefferson, Lincoln, Roosevelt (hell, I'd settle for a Madison or a Wilson at this point)this year and apparently we're SOL.

So, I think I'll write a few posts about the guys who've ran The Big Race and gotten the toughest electoral spankings by the voters.

First up is good ol' Barry Goldwater who embarrassed himself by losing to LBJ in 1964(61.1% LBJ over 38.5% Goldwater in the biggest landslide of the popular vote).

This Republican Senator from Arizona was considered "Mr. Conservative" and during the social unrest of the 1960's actually campaigned with a platform calling for the end of The New Deal programs of FDR, labor unions and welfare. His foreign policy was labeled as so hard-line militant anti-Communist (he had also served as a Major General in the Air Force Reserves) that LBJ was able to use that against him and declare nuclear annihilation by the Soviet Union if he got elected.

Goldwater lost so badly that he carried only 6 states, including his home state.

So, was he really all that bad? That depends on how you feel about conservatives, I guess....

Apparently McCain liked him, summing up Goldwater's legacy thus: "He transformed the Republican Party from an Eastern elitist organization to the breeding ground for the election of Ronald Reagan.” (Way to go, Barry, just what we needed ~insert sarcasm~)

This is a funny antidote:

Journalist Robert MacNeil, a friend of Goldwater's from the 1964 Presidential campaign, recalled interviewing him in his office shortly afterward. "He was sitting in his office with his hands on his cane...and he said to me, 'Well, aren't you going to ask me about the Iran arms sales?' It had just been announced that the Reagan administration had sold arms to Iran. And I said, 'Well, if I asked you, what would you say?' He said, 'I'd say it's the god-damned stupidest foreign policy blunder this country's ever made!'"

HA! Too bad he died in 1998 and missed out on the stupidity of the 21st Century~

Here are some interesting things Barry Goldwater has said...

"Extremism in the defense of liberty is no vice. And let me remind you also that moderation in the pursuit of justice is no virtue."

"Let's lob one (nuclear weapon) into the men's room at the Kremlin."

"…we, as a nation, are not far from the kind of moral decay that has brought on the fall of other nations and people…I say it is time to put conscience back in government. And by good example, put it back in all walks of American life."

"Everyone knows that gays have served honorably in the military since at least the time of Julius Caesar . . . You don't have to be straight to be in the military; you just have to be able to shoot straight."

"I certainly believe in aliens in space. They may not look like us, but I have very strong feelings that they have advanced beyond our mental capabilities....I think some highly secret government UFO investigations are going on that we don't know about — and probably never will unless the Air Force discloses them."

"Hubert Humphrey talks so fast that listening to him is like trying to read Playboy magazine with your wife turning the pages."

"I could have ended the war in a month. I could have made North Vietnam look like a mud puddle."

"I think every good Christian ought to kick Falwell right in the ass."

Thursday, June 5, 2008

Armageddon or this week in Kansas City...You Decide...

Saw this AWESOME picture on Gary Lezak's Weather blog this morning. Wow. Very cool! Unlike the weather that seems to be approaching this evening...

Wednesday, June 4, 2008

Taco Bell Munchies

I'm starving...Mexican Phone Book Company, anyone?

Intense, Irrational Fear

Go ahead and make fun of me...everybody else does.

I can't help it. I can't control it. I'm incurable.

I'm afraid of gnomes, garden variety or otherwise.

I know how it sounds, but ever since I was a little child and saw them in picture books with their rosy little apple cheeks and pointy red hats, I just didn't like them. And then when I was about 11 our neighbors put about 8 of them in their yard. And those creepy little f*ckers would stare out at me behind the shrubs and azaleas. No matter where they were, they would be staring right at me. I swear they even moved around her yard, even when she was on vacation. I hated them.

Popular mythology has painted them with a kind brush, but I know better. I don't buy into that David the Gnome propaganda. That Travelocity gnome? Just a patsy for their plot to take over the world. I'd never buy plane tickets thru that little f*cker. What's with the English accent? Authentic gnomes are from Germany...suspicious or a conspiracy, I'm not sure...

I'm proud that JK Rowling had the courage to expose them for what they really are: mean tempered little bastards that bite.

Sure, I get alot of teasing about my fear. My husband's friend even threatened to defile our front yard with them on my birthday as a form of shock therapy. (Handsome wisely advised him not to do so).

No one can understand why a mostly rational, college educated adult would quake with fear over something in my imagination. Sorry, but I just can't shake the heebie jeebies from my childhood.

I did find this very helpful site to assist me in justifying my fear: Garden Gnome From Hell!
See! I'm not the only one!

So, tonight, tired from work, I come into the house and Handsome calls me over to the computer:
"Hey, watch this!" pointing to a YouTube video.

I squint. Stare. "What is that? Bigfoot or something?" and then it becomes all too clear...GNOMES IN ARGENTINA!!!! AHHHH!!! My worst fear caught on some kid's camera phone! This was worse for me than "The Grudge". I almost peed my pants.

Aparently there's been gnome sightings there in the last year or so. Is there such a thing as Gnome Busters, I wonder?

Watch this real life horror film. It's truly scary. Wait for :45. That's all I'm saying. Very frightening.

Tuesday, June 3, 2008

Thundery Thunder

Oh my God, I'm having a meterological orgasm RIGHT. NOW.....

I love summer thunderstorms. LOVE, love, LOVE them. Hardly anything is as exhilirating and powerful as a good ol' fashioned window shakin' holy-crap-are-the-windows-going-to-shatter summer thunderstorm!

I've had a long, steamy, humid and wet affair with Mother Nature's temper tantrum....

When I was growing up, I would lay on my parent's dock (grew up at a lake) right next to the alumninum fishing boat and just rock with the waves as the rain pelted me. (Think Lieutinant Dan ala Forest Gump).

When we lived at our turn of the century shirtwaist, we had a deep, deep front porch that would allow me to sit in comfort and enjoy Mother Nature's rath.

When we lived at our 1920's airplane bungalow, I had a screened in, deep porch that would allow me to sit in comfort and enjoy Mother Nature's fertility as I contemplated the scariness of my first pregnancy.

Where we live now? I'm enjoying the small little portico over our front steps as I am lashed with early summer rain and dream of the day Handsome and Best Father In Law In the World build me my screened in porch.


Better to Love or Be Loved?

I'm going to get all philosophical here for a bit.

I'm a notorious re-reader. For me, my relationships with certain books, like old friends change over time. I grow, I mature, I understand them differently. Some stories are just too good to read just once.

My most recent re-read was an old favorite: "We the Living" by Ayn Rand. I haven't read it in probably 10 years, so I figured it was time.

I went out with one of my favorite gal pals the other night and we emptied a bottle (or two) of wine, which is always a great precursor to philosophy. Since she was a lit major in college, I mentioned that I just got done reading Ayn's first book. (We're both big fans, even if we don't agree about Objectivism)

My friend posed the question: "Stripping away all of the 1920's Soviet influences, Rand's personal agendas, etc. it's the classic love triangle. So, which is better: to love someone who doesn't love you or to be loved by someone you don't love?"

My stance? I'm a "giver"...I couldn't help myself if I wanted to in loving someone who doesn't love me back. Even if I get hurt, I'd rather take the risk of heartbreak. I'd rather feel something rather than nothing. Maybe I'm a glutton for betrayal?

My friend? She's security minded. She would rather have someone take care of her who truly loved her even if she didn't feel that way. She would at least have someone she could always count on.

I'm still torn...discuss amongst yourselves....

Moxie's Summer Re-Read List:
"The Historian" by Elizabeth Kostova
"Time Traveller's Wife" by Audrey Niffenegger
"A Tree Grows In Brooklyn" by Betty Smith
"Main Street" by Sinclair Lewis
"House of the Seven Gables" by Nathaniel Hawthorne