Tuesday, June 3, 2008

Better to Love or Be Loved?



I'm going to get all philosophical here for a bit.

I'm a notorious re-reader. For me, my relationships with certain books, like old friends change over time. I grow, I mature, I understand them differently. Some stories are just too good to read just once.

My most recent re-read was an old favorite: "We the Living" by Ayn Rand. I haven't read it in probably 10 years, so I figured it was time.

I went out with one of my favorite gal pals the other night and we emptied a bottle (or two) of wine, which is always a great precursor to philosophy. Since she was a lit major in college, I mentioned that I just got done reading Ayn's first book. (We're both big fans, even if we don't agree about Objectivism)

My friend posed the question: "Stripping away all of the 1920's Soviet influences, Rand's personal agendas, etc. it's the classic love triangle. So, which is better: to love someone who doesn't love you or to be loved by someone you don't love?"

My stance? I'm a "giver"...I couldn't help myself if I wanted to in loving someone who doesn't love me back. Even if I get hurt, I'd rather take the risk of heartbreak. I'd rather feel something rather than nothing. Maybe I'm a glutton for betrayal?

My friend? She's security minded. She would rather have someone take care of her who truly loved her even if she didn't feel that way. She would at least have someone she could always count on.

I'm still torn...discuss amongst yourselves....

Sidenote:
Moxie's Summer Re-Read List:
"The Historian" by Elizabeth Kostova
"Time Traveller's Wife" by Audrey Niffenegger
"A Tree Grows In Brooklyn" by Betty Smith
"Main Street" by Sinclair Lewis
"House of the Seven Gables" by Nathaniel Hawthorne

5 comments:

Paranoid said...

I don't think I'd like either one, honestly. But to love someone who doesn't love you sounds terribly hurtful. I'd rather be loved.

Jendeis said...

Loved The Historian. Read it as an audiobook; I'd like to reread the text to see if I'd respond differently.

A twist on the triangle is the following juxtaposition: you each love one another, but don't love each other the way that each needs to be loved. Trying to make it clearer: A and B love each other. A can only love B the way that A knows how to love. A's love is different from the love that B needs. What to do?

MoxieMamaKC said...

Sigh...I'm just glad Handsome and reciprocate what we both feel. Love triangles are fascinating, but always end sadly (one one angle at least)

Brigindo said...

Having to choose between the two I'd much rather love than be loved. I agree with your reasons but in addition I think being truly loved by someone when you can't return the feeling is icky.

I'm also totally with you on the gnome thing.

Thanks for dropping by my blog.

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