Thursday, November 20, 2008

A Grinch With Moxie


Alright, Asshats that are already full of the Christmas spirit...Can you wait a week? C'mon! You're hitting on one of Moxie's Top 10 Pet Peeves, second only to gnome lawn art.

I hate how Thanksgiving gets skipped over every year. I hate it.

Right now, a jackass in my office is listening to KUDL or Star 102. They compete for who's going to go to an "All Christmas music" format every year. This year it was the day after Halloween.

8 full days before Halloween this year I went into Big Lots for cheap Halloween office decorations. There was ONE AISLE of Halloween stuff. The rest of the Holiday Section was Christmas.

No cornicopias, no historically inaccurate pilgrims, nary a turkey decoration in sight.

I have firm beliefs in holiday celebrations.

The Christmas Season begins officially when Santa Claus comes down 34th Street in the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade. NOT ONE SINGLE SECOND BEFORE!!!!!!!!!!!


I implemented this rule after dating Handsome for a year. He happens to have the world's largest collection of Christmas music CD's. Everything from Alvin and the Chipmunks to the fucking Vienna Boys Choir.

By New Year's I'm ready to kill myself.

I love Christmas. LOVE it! However, Thanksgiving is the one day of the year that celebrates American excess (oh argue Christmas does the same thing, I don't care.) Thanksgiving brings back memories of going to my Grandma's house singing "Over the river and thru the woods" and all of that.

The Macy's Parade was a big deal for her. She grew up in Brooklyn and always went to the parade with her family. After moving to KS, she could only watch on tv. For her Christmas began with Santa and 34th Street and it's a family tradition I'd like to continue.

The history of American thanksgivings is kind of twisted. Screw the pilgrims, the first thanksgiving was in Florida.

Here's some fun stuff about the holiday.

For those addicted to online quizzes, here you go.

8 comments:

m.v. said...

I wonder if "fucking vienna boys" sound a lot different. do they have more grunting noises incorporated in their music, some extra ooo's and aaa's?

emawkc said...

Moxie... Ummm... Sorry 'bout that.

Nuke said...

You're thinking of the Vienna Boys fucking MV, and actually they sound like the chipmunks.crickets except breathier.

I like Christmas, but the decorations have overwhelmed me since I was a kid. Mom made Dad but up the tree the morning after turkey day, and in return he got to take it down the day after New Years. Doesn't sound bad right? Well it took about 4 hours to decorate (just the tree) because my mother had about 250% of the ornaments that would fit and had to pick and choose.

Heather J. said...

you said it! I LOVE Thanksgiving and it deserves a whole entire week of festivities in my book. :) I'm off for my Thanksgiving vacation tonight and will be gone until 12/1 - THEN the Christmas season can officially begin! ~LOL~

"The D" said...

Does Handsome have the Twisted Christmas?

Its Twisted Sister!! Ir could be the best Christmas CD evah!

Christmas doesn't even get thought about until the day after Thanksgiving. THAT is when the lights on the house go up.

They come down New years day. Hung-over or NOT. Dems da rulez!

MoxieMamaKC said...

D-- Twisted Christmas, as in Ray Stevens? Yep. He's got a couple. Everything from "Walkin' Round in Women's Underwear" to "Grandma Got Ran Over By a Reindeer"....


Sigh...

Traceytreasure said...

I couldn't agree with you more. I was in Wal-Mart the DAY AFTER HALLOWEEN and I couldn't believe my ears. 'I'll be home for Christmas' was playing.
That's just not right!

Hugs!!

Brigindo said...

I feel you Moxie. b also has an amazingly overstocked Christmas music collection. I had to make a very strict rule years ago that no Christmas music is allowed to be played until Black Friday.